lostsoul6486 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 "My ex still texts me to catch up." "My girl/boyfriend broke up with me but s/he says s/he still loves me." "My ex wrote me a letter, what is s/he thinking?" I see a lot of posts like that on here. A lot of posts about people getting mixed signals from their exes. "She still loves me but she's with another guy!? That makes no sense!" You're right. It doesn't. I've been there before. My ex had her claws in me for a long time. Saying that she loves me but not committing to try again. It sucks and it hurts, but it taught me how to read people's minds. Knowing what someone is thinking is not very difficult, but it gets to be extremely hard when it involves someone you're emotionally attached to. All you have to do is look at their actions. Saying, "I love you," is easy. Loving someone is not. It takes effort and dedication. I know it's hard to think about in the context of someone you love, but lets look at a real world example we have all been through. You go grocery shopping at your local supermarket one day and you run into a friend who you haven't seen in months. The conversation goes as follows: You: "Hey, man! Long time no see. How have you been?" Them: "Good! Just getting some groceries. How are you?" You: "I'm doing well. Same old stuff. Working, going to the gym, and living life." Them: "Awesome! Glad to know you're doing well." You: "Thanks. It was good seeing you! We should hang out and catch up sometime." Them: "Sure thing." You each go your own way. Days pass by, then weeks, then months and you still haven't hung out and caught up. What happened? Well, neither of you reached out to the other. It's easy to say, "Let's catch up sometime," but actually doing that requires effort. You have to call or text each other to make plans. Make sure you're both available. Actually hang out. It's not as easy and neither of you wanted to put in the effort to make it happen. I mean, sure, this person is your friend but is catching up with him really worth all of the trouble? The same goes for your ex. "I love you," are three easy words to say. Showing it is the hard part. Not dating another person. Making an effort to patch things up. Respecting you. That stuff is hard. Right now, you're like that friend from the supermarket. Your ex "loves" you, but are you worth the trouble? Nope. You want to know what they're thinking? Look no further than their actions.
marky00 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 This is true but unfortunately your not always able to pick the actions properly until its over. Some people have an amazing ability to "act" whilst in the relationship. Then when they want out, u won't even recognise them.
Nadine123 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 thats so true. Me and my boyfriend just ended things after he ghosted me and he is on vacation with his new girls now so dont know what actions speak more than this.
aloneinaz Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Understand that a lot of folks don't care to ever speak to their ex or give a rats bottom what they're thinking or if they think of them. They simply don't care. They ACCEPTED that their relationship ended and they only want to get over it and move on with their lives. Going NC and cutting all possible ties to them by blocking, changing phone numbers and avoiding places they may run into them, accomplishes this in the faster manner. Simply read this site and look at all the pain and suffering folks are going through because they don't have the fortitude to do it. They stay in limited contact. They spy on their social medias. The "accidently" run into them. The spend all their free time thinking about the ex, staring at their pictures. These same people are the ones who post so many of the "it's been 3,6, 12 months and I can't get over him/her posts".. Well duh! This site wouldn't nearly have as many posts if they simply read the NC thread and understood reconciliations don't work. It would save so much heartache, pain and drama from people's lives. 4
Author lostsoul6486 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 Understand that a lot of folks don't care to ever speak to their ex or give a rats bottom what they're thinking or if they think of them. They simply don't care. They ACCEPTED that their relationship ended and they only want to get over it and move on with their lives. Going NC and cutting all possible ties to them by blocking, changing phone numbers and avoiding places they may run into them, accomplishes this in the faster manner. Simply read this site and look at all the pain and suffering folks are going through because they don't have the fortitude to do it. They stay in limited contact. They spy on their social medias. The "accidently" run into them. The spend all their free time thinking about the ex, staring at their pictures. These same people are the ones who post so many of the "it's been 3,6, 12 months and I can't get over him/her posts".. Well duh! This site wouldn't nearly have as many posts if they simply read the NC thread and understood reconciliations don't work. It would save so much heartache, pain and drama from people's lives. You're right, but the folks who don't care don't usually hang out in these forums. Understand that this post is meant for those who do care. I was one of them. I look back and boy was I hard headed. I read back some of my old posts and it's a little embarrassing honestly. I'm trying to point out how flawed their logic is simply because their emotions are in the way. I'm trying to give them perspective to help them realize it's not the end of the world.
Jatli Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 That's not entirely true that reconciliations don't work. Me and my ex reconciled after 1 1/2 years and have been back together now for over a year and things are in a good place with us. It takes work and both parties have to truly want to be with each other and put the effort into getting past the hurt. You have to know its not the same relationship and you have to be able to put the past in the past and begin again. It won't work if you keep bringing up painful crap. It happend, it's done. If you want a relationship with them again you have to look at it that way and forge ahead. Otherwise you are destined for failure.
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