HatefuL_DruG Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Alright. My boyfriend and I have been going through some rough spots lately. He is just so rude to me. He says I'm immature (when sometimes he does things I would never do), he says that when we talk that I'm illogical and he's logical(i know he is), and that I annoy him. He reminds me of my bad habits constantly and I try so hard to kick these habits b/c they are bad and he tries to have patients with me and goes overboard. So I ask one thing....HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU THINK AND FEEL ALL THESE THINGS? Is it even possible? I need some opinions on this matter, if you would mind giving them to me. -sky
noname Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by HatefuL_DruG Alright. My boyfriend and I have been going through some rough spots lately. He is just so rude to me. He says I'm immature (when sometimes he does things I would never do), he says that when we talk that I'm illogical and he's logical(i know he is), and that I annoy him. He reminds me of my bad habits constantly and I try so hard to kick these habits b/c they are bad and he tries to have patients with me and goes overboard. So I ask one thing....HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU THINK AND FEEL ALL THESE THINGS? Is it even possible? I need some opinions on this matter, if you would mind giving them to me. -sky what exactly do you mean by rude? does he say these things maliciously. looks like he is communicating how he feels about certain things in your relationship. if he has just started this kind of behavior then he has probabaly been holding his feelings back for a while and he feels comfortable enough now to let you know. it is easy to love somebody and feel this stuff. people do it everyday. i love my woman to death, but she happens to say things that are so illogical it makes my head spin. i do things that annoy her and she tells me. it is part of communicating. now he needs not be rude, but you may have to elaborate just what rude is in his case...
lvgrl Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Other than you love him, why are you with him? It seems both of you are not quiet mature about it.
Opium Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Not only is trust and communication one of the most important elements of a relationship but RESPECT is also important and it's obvious your bf doesn't have any for you. You can't be with someone who is constantly pointing out your faults and making you feel horrible about yourself, it's not healthy. Ask yourself the question everyone's been asking you, Why are you with him? I guess Misery loves Company!
lvgrl Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by Opium I guess Misery loves Company! good lord that is so true.
DacaInaru Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 hmmm lets see.. I was talking to this guy trying to decided if we wanted to pursue a relationship.. he constantly told me I was great.. just what he was looking for.. etc etc.. ok.. so.. he started to add into are conversations when I would tell him I was doing a certain thing.. .. oh.. well.. that will change..., oh well, i'll have to teach you this or that.. I was getting a little tee'd off to say the lease.. then mind you we weren't even officially dating at this point.. I told him I was taking a trip with some girlfriends to which his reply was.. oh thats not going to happen.. I won't allow it.. So I finally asked him.. what it was he thought was so great and perfect about me.. when all he talked about was changing me, teaching me, ruling me.. he couldn't tell me.. what i finally figured out was that.. he was attracted to the fact that I'm young.. and would be able to give him kids.. even after I told him I wasn't going to have anymore.. either way.. that relationship never got pushed up officially off the ground.. now i'm dating this guy.. who's 23 years my senor.. and you know what.. he likes me just the way i am.. with all my baggage, quirks and oddities.. my point is if a guy want to change you.. then why bother to be with him.. find someone who will love you for who you are.. inside and out.. who will accept you the way you are and not add conditions to your relationship.. be yourself and those who cannot accept that.. then they shouldn't be a part of your life for your own good and theres. good luck.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 ORRRRR... depending on the problems and habits....especially if they may be illegal...Maybe he Just cares about your health, future, and also his butt, if it is illegal stuff.
Author HatefuL_DruG Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 He doesn't say these things maliciously, he's polite about it. He told me he would accpet me however I came, but that there were just some things that annoyed him and I mean that's fine because sometimes he annoy's the hell out of me(not often). He explained to me that he knows that no one is perfect and that everyone has their flaws and that he loves my flaws because they make me unique and set me apart from everyone else. He just feels that maybe if he tells me, however many times it will take, that I will kick the habits. But I mean, is THAT wrong? For him to keep telling me over and over when I KNOW I have to change. I explained to him that when you have been a certain way for a long time that it's hard to just snap out of it? Don't you agree?
Author HatefuL_DruG Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Why are you with him? Well because I know he loves me, he is just extremely honest. And it's a good thing and a bad thing all at once but, I would much rather him be brutally honest than hide the truth from me. He's just a blunt person and I accept that.
Author HatefuL_DruG Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita ORRRRR... depending on the problems and habits....especially if they may be illegal...Maybe he Just cares about your health, future, and also his butt, if it is illegal stuff. No they're definetly not illegal or drug related, jst habits that are a little out of the ordinary.
RecordProducer Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I believe you can love someone and still be annoyed by his faults. His rudeness is a consequence of his bad character and not lack of love for you. Many couples fight. It's your choice whether you will decide to make a compromise or continue to fight. Right now it seems that you're trying to work on your bad habits while he's not trying to work on his rudeness. An open FRIENDLY talk is what I would recommend. You should ask him to talk about the two of you and your problems and make him promise that he will listen carefully and calmly say what he has to say. Of course you need to listen carefully too. If you yell at each other perhaps it would be better to exchange emails. I also think that the faults can make the love diminish with time so if he doesn't accept you the way you are or you don't change, they might lead to an end. Which habits of yours annoy him? How often does he complain about them? In which way does he let you know that?
Author HatefuL_DruG Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 I also think that the faults can make the love diminish with time so if he doesn't accept you the way you are or you don't change, they might lead to an end. Which habits of yours annoy him? How often does he complain about them? In which way does he let you know that? It's extremely embarassing to say. For example: I'm a forgetful person so say I leave my wallet at his house, accidently. I do this repeatedly and he voices it out every once and while. Another thing is that he says I can never fully explain myself in heated discussion and that I never give a straight andswer, so he gets frustrated with me, but i mean this is only when we fight and we don't fight often. I called him on the leaving stuff thing and told him that it made me feel bad b/c I knew that it was true and that I was working on my habit and he was taking the time to even notice the improvement, just the fact that I didn't nip it in the bud right away. Idk the list goes on..... and its like, GOD IF THERE ARE SO MANY NEGATIVE THINGS THAT YOU DON'T LIKE THEN WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU WITH ME?!
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