tstump Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Hi all, first time posting in the "Dating" forum This started about 6 weeks ago. So there's this new gal at work, and we end talking and hitting it off at a company event (i'm 28 she's 26). We exchange numbers and start hanging out casually. BTW i was extremely into this girl. After 2 weeks our relationship turns physical, and when the weekend comes around she goes ice cold on me and sends me this text: "Sorry i have to bail on our plans tomorrow, i'll explain everything to you in person on Monday" My first thought was "she has a boyfriend." Sure enough, she did. Turns out he moved into town that weekend. I basically told her i was bummed we couldn't continue what we had and let it be. TWO DAYS after that she starts hitting me up to hang out on lunch break. So we grab lunch and she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend and I was part of her decision (apparently they've had a pretty rocky on/off relationship for the last 3 years). Obviously i was glad to hear this, but knew it was going to be weird. Moving forward, she was still hot/cold with me, not getting any real consistency. Two weeks ago i went out of town for a week and we barley spoke and it was driving me crazy. I was having a really hard time playing it cool because i liked her so much. So, this last week it finally starts to shape up the way I was hoping for, talking and hanging out regularly. Went on some awesome dates and she seemed sooo into me. Thursday evening she was leaving town for the weekend so i went and hung out before she left . She was really touch/feely and we hooked up and said bye. Literally 2 hours later she calls me and breaks it off with me. Gave me a big pile of "it's not you it's me." Says that she doesn't feel ready to commit to anything, it wouldn't be fair to me, and wants time to be on her own for a bit. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'm thinking she's getting back with the Ex (who knows about me now). I'm really bent out of shape about this. I thought she was being hot/cold before but this is absolutely ridiculous. Was i just a rebound for her? She just a vine swinger? Did she just love the attention i was giving her? Did she even really like me? I'm just really confused.... Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated Thanks
sunshine2 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 First she is cheating on her BF with you, I doubt she broke up with him totally, they were probably fighting and she slept with you to get back at him or something like that. Its never a good idea to get involved with someone who just broke up or is in an on/off relationship. She is definitely not over her BF and could easily just use you as a rebound or to just to kill time until she gets back together with him. For your own sake, I would stay away from her and move on. You deserve to be with someone who will treat you as a priority and not a time filler or rebound. 1
leogirl876 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I'd say to her "you're right, it is you, not me" and move on! She's either seeing you and someone else and/or not sure who she wants and keeps going back and forth. Either way, not someone you want. She's using you as the backup person.
gorf Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 This started about 6 weeks ago After 2 weeks our relationship turns physical My first thought was "she has a boyfriend." Sure enough, she did. TWO DAYS after she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend and I was part of her decision (apparently they've had a pretty rocky on/off relationship for the last 3 years) She just a vine swinger? Did she just love the attention i was giving her? here are the key points. Yes, she was with another guy. She cheated on him. Probably needing more attention than he was giving in the moment, usually comes down to something along those lines. But dude, think about it. She cheated on him with you. And you really think if you get with her, and there is an argument.. (or she keeps things to herself and does her own thing) that she will not cheat on you?? Really? Get as far away from this girl or she will trap you and take you down with her 1
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 She may have actually broke up with her BF, but he started to hoover her back. Never associate with a girl that is willing to cheat on her BF.
Author tstump Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 Thanks for the responses! But dude, think about it. She cheated on him with you. And you really think if you get with her, and there is an argument.. (or she keeps things to herself and does her own thing) that she will not cheat on you?? Really? Get as far away from this girl or she will trap you and take you down with her I knoowwwww. I was totally ignoring these red flags and wanted to believe we had something real. We always have good time when hanging out and the first girl i've clicked with in a while. I think i just got so swayed by my first impression of her, checked off so many of the boxes i look for in a girl.
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