leogirl876 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 I've noticed while messaging back and forth with some guys on OLD they give me their number first and say to call them. What does that mean? Is it that they're too lazy to call first or are they thinking that would make a girl feel more comfortable? I really like it when a guy takes the lead on the phone call and calls me first, and I always direct it back to them saying I'd like them to call first. Just wondering why some guys give their number first, while others ask for mine? Does it mean anything or am I just thinking too much?
angel.eyes Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 It's a way to tell you they want to progress things while being respectful of your comfort level. I much preferred that they gave me their number. I don't recall ever giving out my number before they volunteered theirs. 3
insert_name Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 For me personally it was a character trait borne from a lack of confidence on OLD. I had no scarcity mentality and would treat every interaction with a girl from OLD like it was a golden egg that I was terrified of breaking. It seemed like one less thing that could scare them off. I am far more ambivalent about the whole process now. I accept that you aren't going to get every girl out on a date and some will inevitably fall by the wayside because of something I did and if that something is something so innocuous as asking for their number then I can only laugh and move on to the next, we both weren't compatible and I found that out nice and early. 1
Author leogirl876 Posted September 4, 2016 Author Posted September 4, 2016 Cool! I'm just making it sure it's not something like "here's my number because I'm too lazy to pursue you" or something like that.
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 I see it as the guy wanting to steer things to the next level, meaning he is doing it to reassure you he wants to meet up in person. I definitely see this as a good move on his part and not a lazy one. It's very different than a guy you meet out and about giving you his number and saying "call me if you like" I'm seeing this too in OLD and I don't give out my number in OLD I will make a date online and meet them and if we hit it off then I will give out my number otherwise every time I have an OLD date there is another stranger that has my # floating around. I'm not into that.
Author leogirl876 Posted September 4, 2016 Author Posted September 4, 2016 I see it as the guy wanting to steer things to the next level, meaning he is doing it to reassure you he wants to meet up in person. I definitely see this as a good move on his part and not a lazy one. It's very different than a guy you meet out and about giving you his number and saying "call me if you like" I'm seeing this too in OLD and I don't give out my number in OLD I will make a date online and meet them and if we hit it off then I will give out my number otherwise every time I have an OLD date there is another stranger that has my # floating around. I'm not into that. Hmmm...never thought about that. I always thought, that's what the block option on a phone is for if you don't want to talk to them again.
angel.eyes Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Cool! I'm just making it sure it's not something like "here's my number because I'm too lazy to pursue you" or something like that. Nope. At least in my experience, the guys who did it with me were all take charge, confident guys. Lazy guys and timid guys just message aimlessly until you get tired of it, and do something. For me that was to stop responding after I dropped a couple of hints that they needed to move things along. The other option would have been to take the reins and progress things myself. 1
angel.eyes Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Hmmm...never thought about that. I always thought, that's what the block option on a phone is for if you don't want to talk to them again. They still have your number! I don't think you realize how much information is available about you once someone has your phone number. There are nutjobs out there! Not to mention the Estonian and Nigerian scammers. My first go-around, I thought my friends who used a separate cell phone for dating were nuts. Second go-around, yup! I joined the club. Remember, once you give out personal information to a stranger, you can't take it back. 2
Bialy Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 I avoid the whole phone number exchange thing until I meet the guy IN PERSON. My personal preference. If I'm offered a number before a meetup, I'll say something to the effect of, "Thanks! I receive messages on this app in real time, so feel free to shoot me a message if you arrive early." If I like the guy after I meet him --- then I'll give him my number. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 I avoid the whole phone number exchange thing until I meet the guy IN PERSON. My personal preference. If I'm offered a number before a meetup, I'll say something to the effect of, "Thanks! I receive messages on this app in real time, so feel free to shoot me a message if you arrive early." If I like the guy after I meet him --- then I'll give him my number. Great idea, but hate the idea of being perpetually online with those darn apps. 2
Bialy Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Great idea, but hate the idea of being perpetually online with those darn apps. My rule of thumb is to meet within a few days if the online exchange is good.
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Hmmm...never thought about that. I always thought, that's what the block option on a phone is for if you don't want to talk to them again. Ya but if they want to harass you someone can circumvent the block by calling you virtually from anywhere or just block out their number. Typically people will never go to that extent though. I just don't wish to give 10 different guys (or however many) my phone number. I'm rather private that way. Nor do I want to get random texts from someone I am not interested in, or worse yet that I have never met in person. It's pointless.
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I avoid the whole phone number exchange thing until I meet the guy IN PERSON. My personal preference. If I'm offered a number before a meetup, I'll say something to the effect of, "Thanks! I receive messages on this app in real time, so feel free to shoot me a message if you arrive early." If I like the guy after I meet him --- then I'll give him my number. Ditto for me, 100% everything you just said. 1
Omei Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I do not date online anymore most of the ppl are there for the wrong reasons. In my personal experience when men gave out numbers before a meet ever it was quickly followed with how soon they could get a sex topic going they just wanna get laid.
Author leogirl876 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 I do not date online anymore most of the ppl are there for the wrong reasons. In my personal experience when men gave out numbers before a meet ever it was quickly followed with how soon they could get a sex topic going they just wanna get laid. Well I talked to this guy on the phone tonight, and we seemed very harmless, didnt' seem like a cocky jerk, like some do. But, yes, i have had that happen before when they tried to get sex asap. That pisses me off!!!
joseb Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Ya but if they want to harass you someone can circumvent the block by calling you virtually from anywhere or just block out their number. Typically people will never go to that extent though. I just don't wish to give 10 different guys (or however many) my phone number. I'm rather private that way. Nor do I want to get random texts from someone I am not interested in, or worse yet that I have never met in person. It's pointless. Also depends on your phone and where you live. There isnt a way for me to block people texting me without resorting to installing third part apps on the phone with are a pain.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 My rule of thumb is to meet within a few days if the online exchange is good. Oh, I have held onto that rule for a long time now. I simply refuse to install an app that goes off daily and shows that I'm online constantly. It can be a little embarrassing to have a dating app active when it goes off or shows on the home screen for someone else to "accidentally" see. :lmao: 1
Otter2569 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I'm not one to throw my number around but if we are going to meet I give it out in case they want to chat before or worse yet "something comes up" last minute, they are running late etc. I prefer not to live on the dating app. I am also not a stalker - who has time for that?!
Bialy Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I don't have my dating app active all the time. I only receive a notification if I receive a message. It is *very* easy to switch off notifications on a smartphone for any app. I leave it on when I'm going to be meeting someone. It's really not all that complicated. Once I meet someone I actually like IN PERSON, they can have my number then.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I don't have my dating app active all the time. I only receive a notification if I receive a message. It is *very* easy to switch off notifications on a smartphone for any app. I leave it on when I'm going to be meeting someone. It's really not all that complicated. Once I meet someone I actually like IN PERSON, they can have my number then. True. I will pass for now.
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) I avoid the whole phone number exchange thing until I meet the guy IN PERSON. My personal preference. If I'm offered a number before a meetup, I'll say something to the effect of, "Thanks! I receive messages on this app in real time, so feel free to shoot me a message if you arrive early." If I like the guy after I meet him --- then I'll give him my number. Sorry, I have a policy that I must speak with the person on the phone to get a familiarity of the voice and if their legit (wife or sig. other doesn't answer.). Otherwise, I believe they are trying to hide something. There's just something a bit uncomfortable about meeting someone cold turkey without ever talking to them prior. I avoid the whole phone number exchange thing until I meet the guy IN PERSON. My personal preference. If I'm offered a number before a meetup, I'll say something to the effect of, "Thanks! I receive messages on this app in real time, so feel free to shoot me a message if you arrive early." If I like the guy after I meet him --- then I'll give him my number. You know, if they are good at holding out, putting on a good act, and THEN they get your # after the date...they can still go ape on ya. I've seen this happen with a woman where a guy she met face-to-face, try to scam her. Yes, he was a local con artist. lol Edited September 5, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst
Bialy Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Otherwise, I believe they are trying to hide something. I'm just not that paranoid about that. More often than not, first dates rarely lead to second dates when it comes to OLD. I find the whole process kind of silly. I get more out of actually meeting someone - typically just for something like coffee, tea, ice cream, or anything else under $10 -- and a nice city walk. I live in a large metropolitan area where people OLD a lot - so OLD really doesn't have much of a stigma. you know, if they are good at holding out, putting on a good act, and THEN they get your # after the date...they can still go ape on ya. I've seen this happen with a woman where a guy she met face-to-face, try to scam her. Yes, he was a local con artist. lol One anecdote of a gullible woman and a local con artist doesn't change my POV. I think you're overly paranoid and overthinking it. Meeting someone at a neutral location for coffee and a city walk is not a big deal. If there isnt a connection, it's just an hour of your time. I'd rather not waste my time texting and calling someone I never met for a few weeks before meeting. I rather just meet within a few days or a week if there's a good online exchange and I like his profile.
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I'm just not that paranoid about that. More often than not, first dates rarely lead to second dates when it comes to OLD. I find the whole process kind of silly. I get more out of actually meeting someone - typically just for something like coffee, tea, ice cream, or anything else under $10 -- and a nice city walk. I live in a large metropolitan area where people OLD a lot - so OLD really doesn't have much of a stigma. One anecdote of a gullible woman and a local con artist doesn't change my POV. I think you're overly paranoid and overthinking it. Meeting someone at a neutral location for coffee and a city walk is not a big deal. If there isnt a connection, it's just an hour of your time. I'd rather not waste my time texting and calling someone I never met for a few weeks before meeting. I rather just meet within a few days or a week if there's a good online exchange and I like his profile. Well, you have your way of approaching it and I have my method. 1
biker23 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 As a guy, this has been my approach and opinion. I dont feel it is appropriate to ask directly for a girls #. I say something like this app is a pain, how about we text instead, here is my #. 90% of the time, they respond with they agree and give me their # and I initiate the first text. Sometimes I get a text from them and thats how I get their #. I never ask for their # without giving mine. I think some use Google Voice # so its not their real #, but not sure how that works. As for calling, I schedule or text in advance before randomly calling in the early stages. One of my best friends whom I met her through OLD, she wanted to use Kik first...because you dont share phone #s and you just delete the person and never hear from them again. We actually still use that a year later because of her Android phone I hate not using iMessage..haha (obviously I have her phone # as we talk all the time) Whatsapp still uses phone #s, so that isnt an option. FB is not an option. Google hangouts requires an email, granted it could be a OLD only email that you setup.
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