Author NJ123 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 Then why were you so offended when she asked if you drove? I don't get it. If she unmatched you, then yeah, you definitely weren't a match. Since your live-at-home friend is drowning in dates, ask him to send some of the women he's not dating your way. It's just a weird question to ask someone almost right away in my opinion. And I don't think he's drowning in dates, but he does get dates. It almost seems like you're annoyed that someone could get dates while still living at home since you're turned off by it yourself. That's the vibe I'm getting anyway from the sarcastic tone of your last few posts.
Author NJ123 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) Most women past a certain age want to be with a man, because they feel like a man is best suited for a LTR. When they see a guy living with his mommy and daddy still, many women are going to think boy, not man. Instead of trying to mislead people into thinking you are someone that you are not, you should direct your energies into becoming the person you want to be. If you are truly happy living with your parents, then you should focus on dating women who do not mind you living at home. That is much better that misleading (lying) to women in order to have them believe you are someone you are not. You keep mentioning how women are being judgemental like that is a bad thing. It is not. People should absolutely be judgmental when it comes to dating, otherwise you end up dating any old person that asks you out. Also, it is a bit hypocritical on your part to admit you are picky (judgmental) about looks, and then look down on women for being picky about you. Women are entitled to their preferences, just like you are. When I started this thread I never meant just huge lies about things, I was referring to stating things where you can say things in a way where they wouldn't be turned off where it's not actually a lie or just a white lie at best. But I wouldn't want to outright lie about anything. I was mainly just asking if it would ever be okay to do it. Obviously everyone here says it wouldn't be. But if someone asks if I still live with parents I'd just say yeah. And yeah, I'm fine with living at home but obviously if I could I'd move out on my own. And fair enough but looks are pretty much the first thing someone sees in someone maybe before even talking to them. No one is going to walk up to someone & ask out them with the intention of a serious relationship if they don't have physical attraction towards them. I just feel attraction for me is as important as personality/chemistry. Edited September 5, 2016 by NJ123
angel.eyes Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) And for her, you being capable of living independently falls in the same bucket. Why would you not want to be upfront about living at home? Why waste your time when she'll drop you as soon as she realizes you still haven't been able to leave the nest. If you're fine living at home, just find someone to date who's fine with you living at home. As you stated, your friends are having no problems reeling them in. Go forth. Edited September 5, 2016 by angel.eyes 2
Author NJ123 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 And for her, you being capable of living independently falls in the same bucket. Why would you not want to be upfront about living at home? Why waste your time when she'll drop you as soon as she realizes you still haven't been able to leave the nest. If you're fine living at home, just find someone to date who's fine with you living at home. As you stated, your friends are having no problems reeling them in. Go forth. Yeah, if they ask I'd just say I still live with parents. Better to just be upfront as you said since there's no point in trying to change the subject or work around it. I'd just want the person I'm with to be okay with everything I tell them so I know they really like me. 1
Hopeful30 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 "I can't tell you the truth, but I also don't want to lie to you, so I won't say anything."
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 You sound like you are in no position to date. Sorry if this sounds cold but you really need to get your priorities straight. You need to be able to live independently and have a job first. From what I read, I don't see how your medical issues are fully preventing you from doing that. With the internet there are so many flexible working situations. You can't wait to be 100% healthy to work and move out, there are always alternative paths around obstacles if you look for them. As boring as it sounds, get off OLD and put that mental energy into sorting your life out first. 2
Author NJ123 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 You sound like you are in no position to date. Sorry if this sounds cold but you really need to get your priorities straight. You need to be able to live independently and have a job first. From what I read, I don't see how your medical issues are fully preventing you from doing that. With the internet there are so many flexible working situations. You can't wait to be 100% healthy to work and move out, there are always alternative paths around obstacles if you look for them. As boring as it sounds, get off OLD and put that mental energy into sorting your life out first. I get what you're saying but the problem with that is if more time goes by then I'll have even less options. I don't want to wake up & be 35 years old with no experience. Dating at that point would be completely pointless since literally no one would give me a chance at that point. It's like no matter which route I take it's going to be held against me since people say I shouldn't try to meet anyone now but if I wait longer then nothing will ever happen in the first place.
introverted1 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Perhaps, but where am I going to find such a person is the question. So what you are saying is that you want to attract the type of woman who would judge you without knowing the specifics of your situation by hiding your reality? Why? 1
Sunlight72 Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I don't want to wake up & be 35 years old with no experience.... It's like no matter which route I take it's going to be held against me since people say I shouldn't try to meet anyone now but if I wait longer then nothing will ever happen in the first place.That's untrue, and you're twisting people's words to find a more emotionally comfortable way to be lazy and wallow in self pity. You started this thread because you have some interest in building a new life going forward - good on ya! Keep that spirit going! "...no matter which route I take, it's going to be held against me..." is not true. The truth is - "...no matter which route I take, it's going to be a challenge for me...". Before you either date from your parents' house without a decent job or going to further college, OR move out &/or get a new job &/or enroll in further college, it is going to be a challenge. There is no other option. It's a challenge, and if you want either path to work out for you, you need to accept the challenge and dig into it As far as your medical issues, I did not read your other thread, but I would encourage you to try yoga and massage therapy, and consider chiropractic care and acupuncture. Also, as Smackie9 suggested, I'd recommend asking a doctor about medical marijuana. Traditional medicine doesn't seem to be helpful to you, and there are other options that have work wonders for many people that you can try. Best Wishes, Sunlight
Author NJ123 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 So what you are saying is that you want to attract the type of woman who would judge you without knowing the specifics of your situation by hiding your reality? Why? No, they were saying the right woman wouldn't care about my problems. So I asked where will I find such a woman.
Author NJ123 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 Honestly don't know where I go from here. Had work today & of course all the same symptoms were bothering me. It just annoys me that I have to live like this & am being punished because no matter what doctor I go to they can't help me. It's just so frustrating having to live like this & makes me always feel like I have to force myself to do things & not actually enjoy myself.
Recommended Posts