Penguin_hugs Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Hi there I'm just after some thoughts about my current situation. I came out of a 2 year relationship at Christmas, that had ended up being LDR by the end due to work. I focussed on my own work and studying and thought that I was really over things- just needed to go on a date to clear my head though and prove I was a dateable person again- but I knew I was moving areas, so I waited til recently. Had a few naff OLD dates. And was messaging a uni friend of mine. We'd been friends 5 years, even lived together for a year and we decided to try a date. Date was pretty good, typical dinner, beach and then we went back to mine and attempted cuddling and kissing etc to see if it was weird. He kept things very PG in comparison to what I am used to and the kissing really needed working on.. We had a 2nd date 10 days later due to my horrendous working schedule. Lunch, river walk, chatting and then making out.. Which had a bit going on than the previous time, but he was the one saying not to go any further etc. I wasn't really expecting that. Any way- I ended up falling asleep in my underwear.. while he was pretty much still dressed and he said that was all he was comfortable with for now. When I woke up I had missed the train home and stayed at his and continued things a little.. but again he stopped me and said that was it. Now I'm feeling bad for numerous reasons. I probably pushed him a bit further than he was comfortable with- but I'm just used to feeling wanted and being passionate. It was a little dull and I was trying to encourage him. I realised in retrospect that this is probably a lot harder on him as his last girlfriend passed away in an accident around 6 years ago. (He's 30, I'm 23) If it was a case of role reversal then everyone would be saying not to rush the girl :/ and I've basically been doing that. And now I'm having doubts about the whole thing anyway, the distance is bigger than I realised. Like 3hrs each way on the train- I have a car- but it's not any quicker that way and there is no parking etc at his and I am not a confident driver to be able to go that far. And my work rota is looking insane at the moment. I just don't know when we'll be able to meet up. Long distance before was hard, but travel was a bit easier, had more weekends free, we had an end date (that we never reached) and we had actually been serious before he moved. I don't know if I'm really ready for a long term, long distance serious thing right now. And I feel I'm being unfair on him. Last time I saw him I said that I didn't really know what we were doing, but that I enjoyed things being fun and was very aware that there was quite a distance between us. I've also found myself actually thinking about my ex this week :/ and comparing things- like my ex was very passionate and complimentary- whereas this guy was very quiet (basically said nothing when I was in my underwear!) And very PG... And then I feel like a bad person for comparing... Oh I feel like it's a mess. I don't want to hurt this guy as he's been hurt before, I don't think that I am quite what he needs and vice versa and I also don't want to destroy a friendship... Thankyou if you have read all this. Any thoughts?
jen1447 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Just be honest w him. He's prob feeling much the same way by the sound. 1
Recommended Posts