Who is right and who is wrong ?

[Shahrukh89]

Hi I am a 26 years old guy from India, its been 8 months since me and my girl friend are committed, before she came with me she was in a relationship which was one and a half year old, she was not very happy with that relationship because she wasn't getting all the love she wanted and then I came, we first become friends and started liking each other, I told her that I love her and she said that too, but then the sudden brake up with her ex (even though she did it) was not very good. She use to miss him and I was okay with it because I knew whats happening, she said sorry many times after coming back from this missing session and shown her concern what if it remained like this forever, on that I told he it is going to be alright as the time passes. She even cried on my shoulder once missing her ex, I remained calm even then.

 

Recently her brother is blessed with a baby daughter and she asked me may I tell this to him(her ex) I allowed her even if she wouldn't have asked me I would have not created a scene on this but she asked me before telling him. In the last week of august my ex girlfriend (with whom I broke up 6 years ago) had birthday and I sent her a birthday message(It was just a Happy birthday !!! and nothing else). My current girl friend found out this message after a day or two in my whatssapp and she become pissed, she asked whether its not important for me to ask her before doing any such acts on that I replied that you know she is a ex that also long gone and I messaged her just out of morality.

 

We fought that complete day and it somehow sorted, we started fighting on this again since last night and it is not sorted yet.

 

Now our fight is diverted to "who is wrong here".

 

Your inputs would matter.

[Tahirthegreat]

No one should be talking to an ex if you are in a relationship. Ex's are es's for a reason, and bring nothing but trouble to a current relationship.

[Kamille]

Generally, people care more about being understood than being right.

 

Why does she find this upsetting? Try to understand what it is that she find upsetting and then repeat it to her: I hear that you find this upsetting because. If she corrects it, hear her out until she feels like you've heard her.

 

Expect the same in return.

[anduina]

Maybe I'm wrong but it appears that her problem might be foreknowledge and permission. She asked for your consent which you gave. You went ahead and did it without any discussion. It's a trust issue.