What would you do

[CasualDude10]

Me and this girl have been talking off and on. Couple weeks ago she came down to my apartment (45min drive) I took her to dinner, we had sex. She couldn't get enough of kissing me after. If you want more details, check out my last post.

 

But the past week we got cold. She invited me to her cabin for tomorrow but I do not know if I should go. She texted me yesterday saying she wanted to be just friends because she felt it was forced and we didn't really conversation well as being more than just friends, but she still wanted me to come up north. I told her I wasn't interested In being friends but I thought it would be dumb. She then was like "I don't know if I want to be just friends. You're opening up to me now." Then she said she'd think about it all and get back to me. She then said she didn't really think about it much today, and right now she wants to be just friends but doesn't know because of the distance between us and how busy she is but she still wants me to come up north.

 

So would you go up north to see her or would you not?

[gorf]

Me and this girl have been talking off and on. Couple weeks ago she came down to my apartment (45min drive) I took her to dinner, we had sex. She couldn't get enough of kissing me after. If you want more details, check out my last post.

 

But the past week we got cold. She invited me to her cabin for tomorrow but I do not know if I should go. She texted me yesterday saying she wanted to be just friends because she felt it was forced and we didn't really conversation well as being more than just friends, but she still wanted me to come up north. I told her I wasn't interested In being friends but I thought it would be dumb. She then was like "I don't know if I want to be just friends. You're opening up to me now." Then she said she'd think about it all and get back to me. She then said she didn't really think about it much today, and right now she wants to be just friends but doesn't know because of the distance between us and how busy she is but she still wants me to come up north.

 

So would you go up north to see her or would you not?

if you want to waste time, travel up north. She already told you everything you need to hear and made it pretty clear

[smudge21]

She's all over the place - clearly some past issues controlling her there, but not your problem to fix her, that's got to be her choice.

 

As much as she's telling you what she wants, you've got to be clear on what you want. From the sound of things, it'll probably be a FWB deal on and off. However, just be careful if you have feelings for her. Nothing worse than unrequited love...

[Tahirthegreat]

SHes having sex with someone else and doesnt want you any more. Dont waste your time.

[Satu]

She wants one thing one minute, and another the next.

 

I wouldn't go if I were you.

 

 

Take care.

[preraph]

I'd probably go and see if it turns the situation one way or the other.

[smackie9]

She is unsure and throwing the friends card at you because you are being too passive/lukewarm. She's probably used to men taking the lead, assertive, and initiating.

[CasualDude10]

Thanks everyone for your responses. Here is an update:

 

So I went up north and just got back. We talked and acted normal. No flirting really because we were with her friends and family. The game never have I ever came was brought up and the question was "Never have I ever had sex with someone here." and she looked super embarrassed and everyone knew right there that we did. I just smiled.

 

Later that night when we were all getting ready for bed I asked her if she wanted to talk about the situation between the two of us face to face so there is no confusion. And she said it was her last weekend up north and she did not want any drama and she did not want to talk about it tonight. So I said okay.

 

So now, I just dont know what to think. I am starting to think there is something wrong with me. Every girl I like when I am dating them starts off in love with me then stuff like this happens. I dont understand.

 

Probably should just wait for her to reach out to me right? I literally hate how much effort and thought she has been taking up on my mind, but she is such a catch and I just dont get what i am doing wrong.

[Satu]

snip

Later that night when we were all getting ready for bed I asked her if she wanted to talk about the situation between the two of us face to face so there is no confusion. And she said it was her last weekend up north and she did not want any drama and she did not want to talk about it tonight. So I said okay.

 

So now, I just dont know what to think. I am starting to think there is something wrong with me. Every girl I like when I am dating them starts off in love with me then stuff like this happens. I dont understand.

 

 

People behave the way they do, because of who they are. Her behaviour belongs to her, arises in her psyche, and is played out by her in the external world. You are just a witness to it.

 

We all have "something wrong with us." What's wrong with us, is the fact that we sometimes think that there's something wrong with us

 

Whats obvious from her behaviour, is that she's not very comfortable discussing her feelings, but maybe that was only true at that time, in that place.

 

I still think you could and should have that conversation.

 

Then you can decide what you want to do.

 

 

Take care.

[CasualDude10]

Thanks, really needed that. I think we should have the convo to but i feel as I expressed enough effort to her that if she wants me or wants to talk to me, she is going to have to reach out to me.

[Satu]

Thanks, really needed that. I think we should have the convo to but i feel as I expressed enough effort to her that if she wants me or wants to talk to me, she is going to have to reach out to me.

 

That's probably the best position to take.