Greywind Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 Okay, I guess I need some outside perspective on this as I have a hard time reading people on a personal level, and haven't dated in a while. I am a social partner dancer and enjoying dancing for it's own sake. Many years back, I vowed to myself not to date within the community. A few years ago, I met HER. It took a few months before we were introduced through a mutual friend and exchanged names. I normally don't give my name, unless first asked; and she didn't seem interested in asking at that time. Fast forward about two or three years, when things got a bit busier for me and I had less time to dance. I asked for and got her contact information and was arranging for the two of us to carpool to an event that had a dance afterwards. The conversations during this event left an impression; she was someone I would like to know better. Afterwards, we ran into each other at a few more dances and were talking about meeting up at another dance event later that week. The event being outdoors and a high probability of rain that day kept her from going. About a week or two later, I was interested in going to a non-dancing event and invited her to join me if she was interested. She accepted and spent the next week trying to iron out details for getting there. There we had a good long stroll, grabbed dinner and spent the remaining time being in awe and amazement of some of the displays before I drove her back. That weekend, i sent an message to see if she would be interested in grabbing a bite sometime. I have not received a reply regarding the last message, though the message system doesn't show her having actually read the message. I was planning to send a follow up after Labor day and depending on the reply, I would either ask her for a REAL date, or give up the idea of dating her. At two events, we spent about 6+ hours at each event with at least good half of that talking. We had probably talked more at the first event than all the conversations we had before then. I normally don't talk much AT ALL so it's not that surprising. Though I have concerns about the intent behind some topics and statements made. However, it was not the time, nor place to seek clarification. I guess my questions for you would be, Am I proceeding too slowly on this? For the guys, advice would be appreciated. For the women, what are your thoughts on this? Is this more akin to a friendship or the earlier stages of dating? Would you be angry if you went through this series of events, only for the guy to ask you for a date? ----- Ce Sera Sera Old enough to know better, but young enough to try.
preraph Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 First of all, pick up the phone and call her. That way you know for sure what's up. She could be not answering on purpose. Or not. So you call her one time and ask her out and if she says no without giving you another open day she is available, then she's not interested. But she may well go out with you again if you call her. Get off the messaging and get it over with. She could be on holiday for all you know.
Author Greywind Posted September 5, 2016 Author Posted September 5, 2016 @preraph: Normally, I would, but I shot myself in the foot early in regards to communications. This was a topics we had covered during our discussions before the first event. Both of us, preferred messaging in lieu of calling for anything that doesn't require immediate attention. She prefers messaging over all forms with an exception for family. I don't consider asking her out on a date time-sensitive as much as I would prefer an immediate reply. I guess I'll find out the answer in a day or two, one way or the other.
kendahke Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Texting is for managing people you don't want to talk with. I think that her level of disinterest is enough to conclude that she's not interested in doing anything social with you. If she was interested, she'd contact you--the messaging thing is her way of managing you. 1
Bialy Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 I totally agree. When someone relegates communication with you to only texting -- they are keeping you at arm's length. Think about it this way --- if you were dating her and you had an accident, would you seriously only text her to notify her because that's the "only way she prefers to communicate with people outside of her family"??? Of course not. I don't know if this is the best example - but I hope you get my point. She's just not that interested in you.
Toodaloo Posted September 5, 2016 Posted September 5, 2016 Grey - let this one go. She isn't all that interested and you had concerns. Let it go before it blows up in your face.
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