MisUnderstood1 Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 My Dad is almost 70. My mom is in her early 60s. Two years ago, I started feeling very depressed to the point of crying myself to sleep because they were getting older. I started noticing their physical changes and then there have been two recent incidents in which they were taken advantage of. My parents have always been goodhearted and kind people; sometimes gullible and just too nice to strangers, and I believe these qualities, along with them being older made them victims. Despite all they've been through they're still very good people. All of these is so depressing to me because it's a reminder that one day they will no longer be here. I seriously can't picture living without my parents. I'll probably cry everyday and feel like dying too. I've been away from them during my undergrad and I'm about to leave them again in a week, but that's different from not ever seeing them again in this life. How do you cope with your parents getting older?
basil67 Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) I'm worried about you MisUnderstood. Being sad about them getting older is one thing, but grieving over their potential loss while they still likely have plenty of good years in front of them is quite worrying. Have you sought help over this? Why not celebrate their life while they are here instead of wasting your time in sadness? As for how others cope, with ageing parents - I'm not sure that many people do grieve over parents who are still relatively young, healthy and of sound mind. My father in law is 92 and is slowing up a lot and has significant memory issues now. My SILs help him out a lot, but I think they focus on the positives and also on the practicalities. My own parents are mid 70's. I do notice they are aging. But they are still fit, healthy and active. There's nothing to concern me there. That said, one of my girlfriends struggles terribly emotionally with her mother's rapid decline into dementia. I think grief while parents are still living is most commonly experienced by those who's parents are no longer healthy or with sound mind. Edited September 3, 2016 by basil67
JewelD Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 Sometimes it helps to remember how fortunate you are to still have them. There are lots of people who lost their parents at a young age or never knew them. But the time you waste worrying about death is time better spent living. Your parents will eventually pass. So will you. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. So if this is your last day on Earth, are you going to spend it freaking out about your death or doing something good with the time you have left? 1
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