Feeling distanced from my girlfriend [updated: GF wants a break]

[George9]

Just break up with her. Go NC.

 

I mentioned the importance of letting me knowing if she wants to break up now or have some days to think about it. She ignored my question three time by asking me unrelated questions about my day.

 

So I finally said that I am done with her.

 

Her respond was like this: "Do you think that I am always on Facebook?"

 

I asked if she is making fool of me with this question, she responded: "It is hard for me to say something, because whatever I say, I would have to live with it for the rest of my life"

 

At that moment I realised that it is hopeless and blocked her on Facebook.

Edited October 28, 2016 by George9

[Satu]

snip

 

At that moment I realised that it is hopeless and blocked her on Facebook.

 

In doing that you voted for yourself and your future.

 

 

Take care.

[George9]

oh well, only two day into nc, she sends me a cellphone message and asks if I would like to meet up. Should I ask why she wants to meet up or just ignore it?

[doyathinkso]

I vote for ignore. Stay dark.

[keiji]

oh well, only two day into nc, she sends me a cellphone message and asks if I would like to meet up. Should I ask why she wants to meet up or just ignore it?

 

Ask yourself if your decision to break up is firm enough and if it's not, if you're ready to hear what she has to say or start with that give and take all over again. I'm generally favorable to answering messages, and if I were in your shoes, I'd tell her I'm not up for her games anymore and nicely say goodbye.

[fromheart]

I know that it is not my hands to fix things, the problem is that she wants me to wait the whole month to hear her final thoughts if she wants to break up or give us a second try.

 

I have already accepted the fact that she had lost interest in me and I am ready to deal with it. But letting me wait whole month to make her mind up feels not fair.

 

It is in your hand to fix things, this is a big part of the problem right here, you feel you're powerless.

 

Take the power back right now by walking away.

 

Anyone who needs time to decide about you considers you an option. She's already gone, looking at other men(maybe more) to make sure she's made the right decision.

 

This is your life, she doesn't make the rules on how you feel. Stand up for yourself.

[George9]

Ask yourself if your decision to break up is firm enough and if it's not, if you're ready to hear what she has to say or start with that give and take all over again. I'm generally favorable to answering messages, and if I were in your shoes, I'd tell her I'm not up for her games anymore and nicely say goodbye.

 

I decided to reply, but everything got even more confusing.

 

When I asked why she wants to meet up, her respond was: "I don't want that you ignore and block me everywhere. We're not enemy"

 

Even though I still like her, I gave her a cold reply that we're not together anymore and I want that she respect my choice to have a privacy (regarding blocking her).

 

Later she says that I will be important person in her life no matter if we are separate or together.

 

Then I made a statement that she should accept the fact that we're not going to be "just friends" soon or any time in the future.

 

After those word, she says that I am acting a bit childish and being mean with her as if she have cheated on me.

 

Now I am kind of feeling bad by being that strict with her...but honestly, after 3 weeks of on and off, never explained me why she wants to take a break from me and suddenly she just want to hang out for the sake of being friends forever? How the hack she doesn't understand that I might be not only angry but also hurt.

[ExpatInItaly]

You are certainly not being childish or mean.

 

She needs to grow up and realize that when relationships end, most dumped exes don't want to be "friends" because it's simply too hurtful. At the moment, she's thinking only of herself. She has little ability to reflect on how this has impacted you; she just doesn't want to feel like The Bad Guy.

 

The truth is that most exes don't remain friends. They might be friendly or civil in their communications, but most aren't friends in the true sense of the word. Both parties eventually move on, date others and we drift out of each other's lives. She lacks the life experience to know that.

 

Good for you for turning down the offer of meeting her. There would have been no point. She didn't want to meet to see you, really; she wanted to meet to alleviate her own guilt. It would have been too painful.

[keiji]

I decided to reply, but everything got even more confusing.

 

When I asked why she wants to meet up, her respond was: "I don't want that you ignore and block me everywhere. We're not enemy"

 

Even though I still like her, I gave her a cold reply that we're not together anymore and I want that she respect my choice to have a privacy (regarding blocking her).

 

Later she says that I will be important person in her life no matter if we are separate or together.

 

Then I made a statement that she should accept the fact that we're not going to be "just friends" soon or any time in the future.

 

After those word, she says that I am acting a bit childish and being mean with her as if she have cheated on me.

 

Now I am kind of feeling bad by being that strict with her...but honestly, after 3 weeks of on and off, never explained me why she wants to take a break from me and suddenly she just want to hang out for the sake of being friends forever? How the hack she doesn't understand that I might be not only angry but also hurt.

 

You have all the right to be mad at her, I think, and staying away from her is not childish or mean, but self-preservation. She had no qualms in lying when she said she needed a break; unfortunately, it seems that she had her mind made up from very beginning. She wasn't brave enough to state it bluntly, she throws a tantrum when you choose to ignore her, and it's you who's acting like a child?

 

I think you're making all the right decisions, and I doubt her little games end here.