HopeisallIhave Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) Story below---- but just to begin, if a woman sais she has herpes but it's not "active" and in my exes words "all clear" meaning it's not during a breakout.. Think twice before making love!!!! Also , I got it because I shave down there and cut myself the night of intercourse which is where the herpes entered into my body... Never have sex with an open wound no matter how small and no matter if it's with a person you know and love! Was with the same woman for almost 20 years. She had left me 3 times due to arguments but she always came back / I always took her back. Finally , after almost 2 decades, we were engaged and we're going to have our first baby. All seemed perfect. Then , my luck changed for the worse. Long story short , her father died , the baby miscarried , she broke the engagement , kicked me out of her house. You must understand I loved this woman so much. 20 years from age 20-40 are some serious and important years. I even was stupid enough and so messed up in the head to get a tattoo on half of my arm of her portrait and her name. BAD MISTAKE. So since the break up I went strict NC. Did eveything right , no begging , no gifts, no nothing. Guess what.. Haven't heard one word from her since , she moved on with a rebound that stuck , they are still together and from what I understand she may be pregnant. OUCH. Do you know what this pain is like? Having my future dreams shattered. Trying to date after 20 years of no dating. Needless to say I've fallen into deep depression. Worst in my life. Can't even get out of bed. Just work, come home, eat a little and stay in bed until the next day. Repeat. On weekends I stay in bed the entire time. Was a very very active and healthy in shape person , now I'm overweight and do nothing. No hobbies , no sports , don't even watch movies or TV. So .... As the title sais (I forgot one of the worst parts) come to find I have genital herpes now. A gift from her. She was the only woman I was with for 20 years. We were apart for almost a year and she got it then. She told me that t was from birth and just started happening the past few years. BS. I didn't know much about it and believed her. So now I'm working to rid myself of it through detox and natural methods as there is no medical/pharmacidical cure. I even let this woman keep the engagement ring, a very very nice one. So everybody ... how stupid am I???? I wish I could at least tell her hey you gave me herpes. But she blocked me , even after strict NC. I tried to call twice , yes only 2 TIMES in one whole year after being lovers and best friends for 20 years. So between the misscarrage of my first child, a broken engagement , not hearing from her, the herpes , the new guy, the possibility of her being pregnant , IM CRUSHED. And to think part of me still wants her back. I'm crazy. So what are your thoughts , how would you handle all this and what would you feel , say, and do? Edited September 3, 2016 by HopeisallIhave Add information
books2 Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) Gez mate... That's one bad situation to have been through... One of my biggest fears is getting something like herpes or wards or worse! I have no tips to give you on that end to help you out, but bare in mind you will have to be honest to your future partners about it... That EX of yours sounds like a real piece of garbage... (I know I only got your side of the story, but I'm sure you like to hear that)... Listen mate, I know right now, considering where you are, it seems like it's going to be impossible to get to where you want to be... You do have some work in front of you, yes! BUT YOU WILL GET THERE!!!! Be solid mate! Since my latest relationship was going sour, I have been watching ''Coach Corey Wayne'' on youtube... He's awesome... greatly motivated me and got me thinking about some of my issues... Where you are now, I would like you to watch a few of his videos... I just know it would help you tons mate!!! Try to find videos about changing your life... transforming yourself... having some self respect... that kind of subject, and take it from there! Good luck, my friend... Once again, try and be solid! Edited September 3, 2016 by books2 3
Captivating Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 Aww, I am so sorry for what happened to you. You feeling "crushed" is completely normal, it is ok to feel grief after such a long relationship. Don't beat yourself up about it. Let it hurt, let yourself cry, face the pain, it will pass. Slowly but it will. Try to take small steps ahead everyday. No, you are not stupid, you loved her and trusted her. She won't be able to forget 20 years either, don't worry about that. You will be in her head for quite a bit. I bet there will be times when she will miss you too, but by that time you will be over her. Herpes.....try to educate yourself on this topic, try to keep it in remission by boosting your immune system, eating lots of and various kinds of veggies, don't eat junk ! Be patient, it will take some time to function again and get better. Be kind to yourself, eat well, sleep well. I keep reposting this video about breakups, I think it is very helpful. Please watch it On the weekends try to make yourself getting out a little bit....how about going to the farmer's market on Saturday morning, get some veggies for a salad later, grab a cup of coffee sit on the bench, close your eyes and soak up the sun Walking outside in the sun works like magic. Maybe on Sunday go out to see a close friend you could talk to a bit. Later sit in a nice warm bathwater with Epsom salt while listening to music. Open up the windows everyday let the breeze in it's refreshing. Tiny steps forward. You are not alone, read others' posts, you will see. Keep us in the loop about what's happening, keep posting on this thread. It will take some time but you will be fine, don't worry. Talk to you later 1
books2 Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 Aww, I am so sorry for what happened to you. Be patient, it will take some time to function again and get better. Be kind to yourself, eat well, sleep well. I keep reposting this video about breakups, I think it is very helpful. Please watch it Awesome video!!! WOW... super interesting stuff... Thanks for the share! 2
Recommended Posts