Jump to content

What are the signs that you're being settled for in a relationship?

NJ123

By NJ123
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

Posted
Posted

Of course no man/woman wants to be settled for, but what are some strong signs where you'd almost know for sure that he/she is possibly setting for you & doesn't actually want to be with you.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)

Try sitting them down and ask them "Why me?" Cuz, seriously, if they can't articulate with specificity what the heck they see in you, something's wrong. I mean, I barely was with recent dude a handful of months and I can clearly articulate what I liked about him.

 

Also, what do they know about you? My 6yr guy? I could finish his sentences cuz I knew him that well. My fav podcaster was talking about a Matthew McConaughey movie where (thank God) he goes to the woods to kill himself cuz he and his dual-career wife (Naomi Watts) don't know a thing about each other. They're pretty much roommates who have sex now and then. And, as much as I can't stand him, I think that I can get where that pain would come from. I mean, how can you be allegedly in love with, married to and/or have kids with someone that you don't even know what their favorite color is?

 

Next, look at their past RLs. Where they dating people with certain looks, brains, money, etc? Is there a pattern? Is there a severe deviation from that pattern when it comes to you?

 

How much time have they dated you? Speedy move in, get engaged, marriage? If they're saying "ILY" and it's only been a few months. Bad sign. In other words, easy come/easy go. If the RL is moving so fast and they're pushing you to move in, marry, and/or have kids and they haven't dated (not time as friends, coworkers, shack-ups) you for 1 1/2 to 2 years, big red flag.

 

A wandering eye. If your SO keeps on ogling other people, has a flock of "orbiters", doesn't wanna stop contacts with exes (including on social media), is a flirt...then yeah, they settled for you, but still fantasize about who they really wish they could snag and keep in touch with them not cuz they necessarily are gonna leave you, but won't let go of how that person made/makes them feel cuz you sure ain't making them feel it. My neighbor did this a lot (I don't know now cuz thank God I don't pay attention anymore)...if I would post about a favorite restaurant, he'd take Petunia there as if she was a substitute for me or something. When I put rims on my car, he ran and put them on hers, as if he could make cool like me (good luck with that :lmao: )

 

If I think of more, I'll be back...

Edited by Gloria25
  • Author
NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Try sitting them down and ask them "Why me?" Cuz, seriously, if they can't articulate with specificity what the heck they see in you, something's wrong. I mean, I barely was with recent dude a handful of months and I can clearly articulate what I liked about him.

 

Also, what do they know about you? My 6yr guy? I could finish his sentences cuz I knew him that well. My fav podcaster was talking about a Matthew McConaughey movie where (thank God) he goes to the woods to kill himself cuz he and his dual-career wife (Naomi Watts) don't know a thing about each other. They're pretty much roommates who have sex now and then. And, as much as I can't stand him, I think that I can get where that pain would come from. I mean, how can you be allegedly in love with, married to and/or have kids with someone that you don't even know what their favorite color is?

 

Next, look at their past RLs. Where they dating people with certain looks, brains, money, etc? Is there a pattern? Is there a severe deviation from that pattern when it comes to you?

 

How much time have they dated you? Speedy move in, get engaged, marriage? If they're saying "ILY" and it's only been a few months. Bad sign. In other words, easy come/easy go. If the RL is moving so fast and they're pushing you to move in, marry, and/or have kids and they haven't dated (not time as friends, coworkers, shack-ups) you for 1 1/2 to 2 years, big red flag.

 

A wandering eye. If your SO keeps on ogling other people, has a flock of "orbiters", doesn't wanna stop contacts with exes (including on social media), is a flirt...then yeah, they settled for you, but still fantasize about who they really wish they could snag and keep in touch with them not cuz they necessarily are gonna leave you, but won't let go of how that person made/makes them feel cuz you sure ain't making them feel it. My neighbor did this a lot (I don't know now cuz thank God I don't pay attention anymore)...if I would post about a favorite restaurant, he'd take Petunia there as if she was a substitute for me or something. When I put rims on my car, he ran and put them on hers, as if he could make cool like me (good luck with that :lmao: )

 

If I think of more, I'll be back...

 

Some pretty good examples. The thing about past relationships though is how would you ever know what the people they've dated in the past looked like though or what type of people they were in terms of what their job was & such.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)
Some pretty good examples. The thing about past relationships though is how would you ever know what the people they've dated in the past looked like though or what type of people they were in terms of what their job was & such.

 

Oh dude, Fakebook stalk them.... :lmao:

 

I mean, shoot, if they don't make it "private" (like I do with some stuff on my FB), then it's not stalking...it's available for public viewing.

 

But seriously, before social media you'd just ask around and get the hot gossip on them. Even better if they're in your social circles.

 

And, you can flat out ask them..like the atty in Kingdom. When dude wanted to spend more time with her, she was like 'I don't know you well enough...so tell me about you, ever married/divorced/kids?'

 

But really, the more time you spend with them (typical 1 1/2 to 2 years), their fangs will come out. Cuz you'll meet family, friends...you may even run into an ex, have to bring them lunch to their job, and people talk. They'll volunteer info about exes and where he worked, etc....

Edited by Gloria25
  • Author
NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Oh dude, Fakebook stalk them.... :lmao:

 

I mean, shoot, if they don't make it "private" (like I do with some stuff on my FB), then it's not stalking...it's available for public viewing.

 

But seriously, before social media you'd just ask around and get the hot gossip on them. Even better if they're in your social circles.

 

And, you can flat out ask them..like the atty in Kingdom. When dude wanted to spend more time with her, she was like 'I don't know you well enough...so tell me about you, ever married/divorced/kids?'

 

But really, the more time you spend with them (typical 1 1/2 to 2 years), their fangs will come out. Cuz you'll meet family, friends...you may even run into an ex, have to bring them lunch to their job, and people talk. They'll volunteer info about exes and where he worked, etc....

 

True, I suppose that's possible. Just seems a bit weird though for people to gossip about exes though in front of the current gf/bf. Just feel it would be disrespectful. And I wouldn't be okay at all with a woman still being friends with their ex or in contact with them at all. I just wouldn't be comfortable with the whole situation. I'd want to meet someone that has ended all contact with former bfs or people they've had sex with. It would be an instant deal breaker for me & a complete turn off.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...