strawberryfieldzz Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 (edited) Long story short, we matched on a dating app and exchanged numbers. He asked me out for a date this Monday and we decided the date would be this Sunday since it works for both of us. Now he's starting to take a long time to reply. I understand he's busy and i don't expect 24/7 texting but damn this guy takes almost a whole damn day to reply back with one and a half dumb sentences. I'm pretty annoyed, i mean who is THAT busy? At the same time i have matched with other guys and they are replying in a timely manner. So now im wondering if cancelling the date is called for? Frankly im losing interest in this guy, in the beginning there was a nice flow to the conversation, seemed very interested ect. but ever since 2 days ago he's been a bit distant. He'll stop replying at 10pm and replying back at 9pm the next day with menial replies (that i haven't replied to) Edited September 2, 2016 by strawberryfieldzz
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 You can do whatever you like. You're not legally obliged to go on a date if you don't want to. Personally I think you're being petty and ridiculous but if you consider slow texting to be a deal-breaker then go ahead and cancel. 11
SevenCity Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 You are losing interest and you haven't even met him? Sounds to me like you weren't that interested in the first place. If you are looking for guys to drop everything for you then cancel. But be forewarned you will grow tired of them in short order. 1
introverted1 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Of course you CAN. The question is: are you potentially discounting a good guy simply bc he isn't tethered to his phone (or doesn't want to engage in lengthy text conversations with someone he has yet to meet)? If it were me, I would expect a pre-date text on Friday or Saturday but I wouldn't expect or want daily interaction before a first meeting. It creates a false intimacy/knowing that can set up the date for failure. YMMV. 5
Redhead14 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Long story short, we matched on a dating app and exchanged numbers. He asked me out for a date this Monday and we decided the date would be this Sunday since it works for both of us. Now he's starting to take a long time to reply. I understand he's busy and i don't expect 24/7 texting but damn this guy takes almost a whole damn day to reply back with one and a half dumb sentences. I'm pretty annoyed, i mean who is THAT busy? At the same time i have matched with other guys and they are replying in a timely manner. So now im wondering if cancelling the date is called for? Frankly im losing interest in this guy, in the beginning there was a nice flow to the conversation, seemed very interested ect. but ever since 2 days ago he's been a bit distant. He'll stop replying at 10pm and replying back at 9pm the next day with menial replies (that i haven't replied to) Why in the world would you keep a date with a guy that's already annoying you when you have other options that seem to be more in line with your preferences . . . Frankly im losing interest in this guy, in the beginning there was a nice flow to the conversation, seemed very interested ect. but ever since 2 days ago he's been a bit distant. -- I'd say, he's where you are . . . losing interest because there are others that seem more interesting for one reason or another. 1
preraph Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Maybe he's one of us who thinks if you say everything in text, what is there to talk about in person. But if you don't want to go out with him , don't.
SoulCat Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 He'll stop replying at 10pm and replying back at 9pm the next day with menial replies (that i haven't replied to) That sounds pretty normal to me. 10 pm is when most people call it a night and put their phone away and prepare to go to bed. From 9 am the next day he's probably at work so I imagine he's a bit too busy to engage in lengthy text conversations with you. Frankly, I'd cancel the date if I were you. Not because of his 'appalling' texting habits but because you've already built up a massive dose of resentment towards him before you've even had the chance to meet. 1
Author strawberryfieldzz Posted September 2, 2016 Author Posted September 2, 2016 Thank you for all the replies. I will admit i am coming off quite harsh but i very recently met another guy and we both got along very very well. One point i didn't hear back from him and it didn't bother me because i assumed since its just text its not a big deal me then he would reply back taking a long time, well low and behold i then found out he was taking a long time because he found someone else. But again thanks for the replies.
spiderowl Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Yes, I would. Taking a whole day to reply with not much would definitely put me off, but them communication is a big thing for me. It depends on the person really. 1
tomtheman1234 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Don't cancel a date give the guy a chance. I just joined an Internet date site and I have had 3 girls cancel on my one cancelled on me the night before are date and the other 2 cancelled on the day of the date. Don't be to quick to judge a person.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 (edited) Well, he never responded, so answer given. BUT, I must say, contrary to many here, a whole 24-hours w/o a reply is simply suspicious. Yes, you should be a little leary if he went from fluid communication to a trickle. THAT IS A SIGN of not so many things good. Also, what a crock of poop to suggest that ANYONE is too busy to respond to a simple text within that time. Lol. Right. No one is that busy. Not to mention he responds around 9PM the next day???? He lost interest as confirmed... And, oh yeah, now days, most people ARE tethered to their phones. It is THE primary form of communication for most people today. I do not doubt it is true for this guy. Edited September 4, 2016 by simpleNfit
Dis Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Yes, I would. Taking a whole day to reply with not much would definitely put me off, but them communication is a big thing for me. It depends on the person really. I agree with this Its a matter of communication styles and obviously you two arent on the same page He's not 'wrong' for taking a while to get back to you or replying in a certain way...but its just not what you're looking for I once dated a guy who was a really dull texter...(also dull in person). He didnt text alot either. That might be fine for some women but its wasnt for me I like quite a bit of communication If a guys communication style doesnt match up with mine...I'm onto the next Just as a side note...he doesnt seem too interested. No one is too busy to send a few texts throughout the day...he just doesnt want to. Seems like even though its early on things just arent feeling right...trust your gut and go out with the guys that are giving you the time of day
Philosopher Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 If I text someone suggesting to meet up a few days later, they take 24 hours to reply and then they say the earliest they can do the date is in ten days time, I do start to think that they cannot really be that interested in meeting me. As a result I start to lose interest in meeting them and forthcoming date starts to feel more like a chore rather than something fun and exciting. I have never cancelled the date in these situations, mainly because I get really annoyed when someone cancels a date on me. However in these situations I will usually go into the date with very low expectations. I have been pleasantly surprised a couple of times on these dates, but normally these dates end up living up to my low expectations. So while I would not cancel the date in your situation, I can see why slow texting can cause you to lose interest.
Sunkissedpatio Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Keep in mind these may not be his texting tendencies at all. He probably does text back right away and is fulling engaged once he knows what's on the other end and is fully interested. You guys haven't met in person yet, so he owes you nothing at this point. You know what you look like and that your picture is who you say you are but he doesn't. So quite frankly can't blame the guy for not wanting to get "so close" before even knowing what to expect in person. I wouldn't to either. It's creating false intimacy that will disappear forever if you meet and there is no in-person chemistry.
Bialy Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 He doesn't know you yet. If he started texting you like crazy and then met you and wasn't interested in a second date, he wasted his time. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If you two meet IN PERSON and hit it off, his communication style would probably change for the better.
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