LookAtThisPOst Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 I had heard conversations in the older community...like 60's plus women, that men...usually with some kind of minor health condition, tend to get desperate as they are afraid of having health issues, but have no one in their life to take care of them. Actually had a neighbor man like this, he actually had terminal cancer though and was doing online dating. These women KNEW he was sick though...sot hey knew what they were getting into. So since women tend to live longer, and men not as much, let's say if a man has a minor heart attack, but recovers decently, but there is this fear he has of being older, bed ridden, and with on woman to take care of him. In a sense it's kind of sad, but I hear some of the ladies of the senior citizen community tend to veer away from that. Can't say that I blame them...but...some are willing. And yes these men want marriage. Ever encounter men like this? If anyone here is in the 60+ category, feel free to share.
JFReyes Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 I'm 56, male and relatively healthy so I'm not in that situation. However, I reckon that a need for companionship -- more than a nurse as such -- would be a factor. 1
Arieswoman Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Look at this post, I've worked in Healthcare for many years and have come across guys who are widowed, with a health issue who are keen to remarry. I wouldn't like to comment on their motivations However, I think 60+ is pushing it a bit. Unless someone has a debilitating illness most people of 60 -70 do quite well. The guys I have known about have plenty of money and are much older than that. They managed to get younger second wives who were happy to have a sexless life, and be a care-giver until their husband popped off and left them a pile of money. I can think of better things to do than spend my time as a sexual housekeeper to an incontinent old man. All the money in the world wouldn't want me to go there. Yes, I'm cynical, but it's "horses for courses" at the end of the day. 2
UpwardForward Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Yes, my late exhusband's OW-wife-widow capped on this type situation. The man was a new widower - and wealthy. They were introduced through employee where his deceased wife had been treated. Dated for about two months. Then he had a stroke. She got him to a Justice of the Peace. He at least had a Prenup drawn up (at his family's urging). After marriage, there was no sex until Prenup revisions. Which he did, over and over. Then he got prostate cancer. Now they live in two different states - in lavish homes he purchased with first wife. Even though his family has made him aware of her participation in fraudulent activities prior to their marriage, I guess he feels he is in too deep financially - or he just wants to be 'married'. So that's the reverse side of the coin. Always some people out there trying to use others and with marriage - or opportunistic - or 'thinking' they will be taken care of.
Popsicle Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 My mother is 78 and widowed. She is spry and in good health. She says that she in no way shape or form wants to get with a man because most of the men have health problems and need to much care and that doesn't sound appealing to her. She does miss companionship though but she tries to fill her life with friends and family. 2
BlueIris Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 (edited) Oh, yes, many times. We all get a little creakier as we age. How someone handles that creakiness becomes more important as you get older because it determines the quality of the rest of your life and your partner's life. My last BF was 62. I’m 56. He had obvious health problems (heart problems, diabetes, ED, maybe others) but resisted addressing them himself or even talking about them. But it was a massive elephant in the room. The avoidance was depressing and led to my breaking up with him. To be very blunt, money is a factor too. If someone can't contribute financially AND has health problems, the healthy partner will be care-taking in both ways for the reminder of her, or his, life. It’s very depressing. Since only men over 60 have any interest in me and my GFs, we talk about this every time we meet a new man. Generally, the guys will not talk about it and they often take offense. Edited September 2, 2016 by BlueIris 1
UpwardForward Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 My mother is 78 and widowed. She is spry and in good health. She says that she in no way shape or form wants to get with a man because most of the men have health problems and need to much care and that doesn't sound appealing to her. She does miss companionship though but she tries to fill her life with friends and family. I agree. I declared 70 as the end of my shelf life. Missed opportunities were not about 'love'. With all I have going right now, I couldn't imagine if I had taken on someone else's recycled husband. (I just counted 6 'I's in my post.) (laugh). But it's true, Life turns out to be about priorities. 1
preraph Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Trouble is, the ones I've known about, including my dad, didn't want some lady their own age. They were basically looking for caregiver with benefits, and what ends up happening is that person bilks them of their money and steals and brings bad people into the household. My dad had thousands taken from him that way, not only from a female but also a male who he rented to. 2
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted September 2, 2016 Author Posted September 2, 2016 Trouble is, the ones I've known about, including my dad, didn't want some lady their own age. They were basically looking for caregiver with benefits, and what ends up happening is that person bilks them of their money and steals and brings bad people into the household. My dad had thousands taken from him that way, not only from a female but also a male who he rented to. Actually, the men I was speaking of were looking for women their own age, it's just that women have a tendency to live longer. So you have a healthy 65 year old woman, with a somewhat unhealthy 65 year old man.
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted September 2, 2016 Author Posted September 2, 2016 My mother is 78 and widowed. She is spry and in good health. She says that she in no way shape or form wants to get with a man because most of the men have health problems and need to much care and that doesn't sound appealing to her. She does miss companionship though but she tries to fill her life with friends and family. Though I have seen my share of married 80-somethings, both male and female...which is a rarity...but 78 probably would be a cut off point for a woman, if she's healthy, while most 78 year old men have one foot in the grave already. So why bother, right?
JuneJulySeptember Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 60s and 70s are a difficult age to be single I think even for the healthy. At that age, I think a lot of people look to their kids and grandkids for companionship ... if they have them. My friend's mom recently got divorced after something like 45 years of marriage. She spends time with her kids and grandkids.
preraph Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Some elderly are open to a new relationship with someone their age and some aren't.
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