Author Em2410 Posted September 10, 2016 Author Posted September 10, 2016 hmm, you're right, but I'm thinking it'll be nice to be treated properly for the first time in a while...? I'm not looking for anything serious, and I'm not expecting anything to come from meeting up with guys, I guess it would be nice to flirt and feel attractive again really. That sounds so stupid... I'm not really sure what I'm thinking...
Scared2loveagain Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 I'm so sorry to here that I really am. It's devastating. It will be a tough month, but believe you are a strong individual with so much to offer the world outside of this relationship you have with your ex. There will be low days, no doubt about it, but when they come try focus on the fact that however many days, weeks, months down the line, you will be a much better version of yourself and you'll have so much to look forward to. I know she has been important to you in your life up to this point, but think-- you lived before her and you will 100% be able to live without her again in the future. Try put yourself before her and her feelings for a change. It will take time before you may reach this point, but when you do put some TLC into yourself and your well being. Gym was a great start for me, I've never been massively into my fitness but I started going with the thought..."I'm going to get myself looking so good that when my ex see's me next he's going to wish he never gave me up!"... Now however I'm exercising more because I want to improve myself and my own confidence. It's now something I do for myself rather than my ex. You don't have to work out to get this, you can take up a new hobby/skill, cook a new recipe, start playing an instrument, going out with your friends and talking about things other than your ex... every little thing helps! Running to her and pouring out your feelings about how much you miss her WILL NOT make her come back. If she does come back, it won't last. Well, I can't say that for certain, but in her mind she doesn't want to be with you right now because if she did she would do anything to be with you and make you happy. It's so unfair for her to toy with your emotions by making you feel like she's undecided about things. No man/woman is worth all that stress... if someone loves you truly they will do anything to be with you and make you happy. They will also respect you, and respect isn't toying with someone and their feelings for the sake of their own! I am by no means over my ex and I have a long way to go... but I know I have improved so much since the first week of my break-up (currently in week 5) and I promise you will too if you do whats right by you and you alone. Take care x Em2410 Thank you for those words I really wish we could PM so we can further discuss things like this more directly. The way I enabled Private message is through paying the $2 dollar subscription fee. You could always message me on Kik if you use that.
Author Em2410 Posted September 10, 2016 Author Posted September 10, 2016 (edited) Em2410 Thank you for those words I really wish we could PM so we can further discuss things like this more directly. The way I enabled Private message is through paying the $2 dollar subscription fee. You could always message me on Kik if you use that. I don't have Kik i'm afraid. I check this page most days, so we can chat here, I'm sorry I can't be more helpful than that. How're you doing today? You got to ride these feelings out. You can do this. I'm having a bit of a low day today, he's been on my mind a lot. There's nothing we can do other than just simply ride it out. The nights are getting darker and the air is getting colder here... I can't help but be reminded of the winter evenings we always spent together this time last year. Life works in mysterious ways, so I've been told. I'm trying my best to remain optimistic about my future! Edited September 10, 2016 by Em2410 1
srhxo Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 hmm, you're right, but I'm thinking it'll be nice to be treated properly for the first time in a while...? I'm not looking for anything serious, and I'm not expecting anything to come from meeting up with guys, I guess it would be nice to flirt and feel attractive again really. That sounds so stupid... I'm not really sure what I'm thinking... Well, if you just want something casual then go for it. I've recently gotten back on Tinder but it's something I'm slowly working my way back into and I'm also definitely not trying to find love on there again or anything. Like you said, it's just nice to flirt a little. I still feel guilty when I use it because I know I still miss my ex and I'm secretly comparing every guy to him, haha. I don't think there's really a time limit on when you're ready to get back out there. I think when you know, you know. 2
Author Em2410 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Ok so my ex messaged me again. Small talk, again, but I ignored it a second time. I feel kind of bad now, as if I should reply, but I don't want to loose any progress I've gained thus far. I have been feeling low today because of not replying which sucks because I didn't imagine I'd feel like this again after something so insignificant... Someone tell me I'm doing the right thing, right??? lol 1
Scared2loveagain Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 yes, Keep it up Keep the good progress going and never stop. Remember even in a future relationship to live for you first, the relationship is always just an addition to what makes you the person you are it doesn't define who you are. You much like I, him or my ex deserve the best life has to offer us when we are our best we allow those around us to be their best as well and in turn improve the relationships we have in our life be it love, family or friends. 2
Author Em2410 Posted September 22, 2016 Author Posted September 22, 2016 Thank-you for that, it's lifted my spirits a little. Feeling a bit confused about everything today if I'm being completely honest! Not sure what I am feeling towards my ex at this point... let me start by saying I am not wanting to get back with him. I still believe it would never work eve if we both wanted. There is far too much water under the bridge and he had hurt me deeply when we split. Despite this, I'm sat here and slightly dwelling on memories which is something I haven't done in a while. Lately I've just been feeling empowered-- like I know I can and will eventually do much better for myself. But today, I am just sad. Maybe it is because of the change of the seasons, memories of september last year are coming back to me. I love the Autumn, it was always so cosy and a really good time in mine and my ex's relationship. I guess I'm just sad because the finality of what we had is hitting me now and I know that we are not likely to be able to remain friends after what we had. I really want to be friends with him, I'd love nothing more than to meet with him next week over some coffee or something, but I feel like this can never happen because I'm scared that feelings will come flooding back to me if I did. He'll always have a place in my heart. I'm worried I'll never be able to shake him off completely, and I really don't want that to prevent me from forming a good relationship in the future. Anyone got any tips on how to get through this phase? I'd say it's a phase of grieving the loss of a best friend. I've accepted that the relationship itself it over and done with, but maybe not the friendship? Just really confused about my feelings right now!
juniorrocha Posted September 22, 2016 Posted September 22, 2016 Anyone got any tips on how to get through this phase? I'd say it's a phase of grieving the loss of a best friend. I've accepted that the relationship itself it over and done with, but maybe not the friendship? Just really confused about my feelings right now! You just keep carrying it on. Find new memories to replace your old autumns with, perhaps a new hobby or a short trip. When we are in a relationship with someone, of course we have it all. But I believe we don't miss being friends with them; we miss everything. The kind of friendship we had with them is different from all the other friends. Even if you two remained good friends, it would never be the same. That's why you can only be friend of your ex when you've moved on; and so have them. That's when you can meet them and realize whether they're indeed good friends or if they were good friends because there was a special feeling around it. I'm 100% sure I wouldn't like being just friends with my ex. Keep going, it's normal to feel that way sometimes. Put your emotions out and keep your mind busy. You'll feel alright when you least expect to. 1
Author Em2410 Posted September 23, 2016 Author Posted September 23, 2016 (edited) What you said makes a lot of sense. I feel so different compared to where I was a month or so ago, but I feel like I'm stuck right now as I will never be able to let go of my ex completely. He is probably with someone else, enjoying these months like we did last year with her, as if I never existed. He hasn't messaged me in 2 weeks. I'm writing this and I feel like crying which is so odd for me as I haven't felt like doing this in weeks. I know he will be working long days in work again, not finishing till late, and I worry about him. A part of me wishes I was still there for him. Maybe I just miss the company. I'd still do anything for him though if he really needed, and I feel a fool for ignoring the messages he did send me a couple weeks ago. I sort of wish I answered... it probably made him move on faster. I feel so lost right now. I can't stop thinking about it, I don't know how to get back to where I was. I wish I could just rewind to this time last year. I'd of never seen this coming at such a happy time... Edited September 23, 2016 by Em2410
juniorrocha Posted September 25, 2016 Posted September 25, 2016 Keep focusing on yourself and you'll get there. I believe we only reaaally move on when we find a new special someone; but you'll know when you feel ready for it. When you accept it's over and start making your life greater/different, eventually what was once scary, will turn out to be amazing.
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