marxman2015 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Say you ask a girl out on a date, if she is not free on that day, and say that she will let you know a day/when she is free. In the end, did she do what she said? Share your experience For me, I asked a girl out and she said she will check which day is free and get back to me. We then went no contact for about 5 days, after 1.5 week, I ask her has she found out which day she is free, and she gave me a specific time, we went out and she showed a lot of interest. Another time, I asked a girl out for a date, she said she is not sure if she can make it and need to check, I let her check, she got back to me that night and we agreed on a definite plan. However, we went no contact for a week and I guess that pissed her off and she canceled on me in the end with bull**** excuse. Whats your take on such response? Link to post Share on other sites
Sunnymae Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I guess it depends on how well you know this person. She may have other obligations, maybe she has two jobs. Also the day you ask her out matters. i . e. I had a guy ask me out on Friday but I had already planned going out that weekend with some friends. On the other side of the coin, I asked a guy I worked with out, and his response was I don't know what my weekend plans are, I didn't know what to say to that. So, I took this as him not being interested. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Until you know someone better, all you can do is take them at their word and trust they are being respectful to you. I personally hate when people say anything other than "no" for fear of hurting feelings but then play people for ages. If she says I'll let you know then as far as I'm concerned she's taking control now after you've suggested going out, so the ball is in her court. Obviously after a few days/a week I may reach out but it all depends how I feel at the time. If it's someone you see often in passing then you can just be polite and see if they take the lead. I would try not to be needy and start chasing. Interested people act interested. As much as any girl (or even boy) likes to be wanted and even pursued, they'll never let someone they are interested in get too far away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marxman2015 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Until you know someone better, all you can do is take them at their word and trust they are being respectful to you. I personally hate when people say anything other than "no" for fear of hurting feelings but then play people for ages. If she says I'll let you know then as far as I'm concerned she's taking control now after you've suggested going out, so the ball is in her court. Obviously after a few days/a week I may reach out but it all depends how I feel at the time. If it's someone you see often in passing then you can just be polite and see if they take the lead. I would try not to be needy and start chasing. Interested people act interested. As much as any girl (or even boy) likes to be wanted and even pursued, they'll never let someone they are interested in get too far away. I hate that too, I would prefer an honest answer saying "I am sorry that I am no longer interested." In the past, I have been in that position of "leading people on" I know I might have hurt the girl, but back then I just dont want to confront her. I didnt use the "let you know" line though, since I think that would be so evil since the other part would be expecting you to meet her. All I did was stop responding to any of her text. She kept inviting me out for like many times even after 6 months, I never respond to any of those, but she kept trying in any communication method (phone call, whatsapp, Telegram... etc) She just didnt take the hint... I had to block her in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 When I was younger (I'm 40 now) when I said to a guy I'd get back to him or I'd let him know, it was usually because I wasn't that into him and that was my attempt at a polite blow off. Now I just tell him I'm not interested, but that's what I think is going on here. If I'm really into a guy and he asks me out, I make sure to make plans with him, if I don't make plans, it's because I'm not that into him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marxman2015 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 When I was younger (I'm 40 now) when I said to a guy I'd get back to him or I'd let him know, it was usually because I wasn't that into him and that was my attempt at a polite blow off. Now I just tell him I'm not interested, but that's what I think is going on here. If I'm really into a guy and he asks me out, I make sure to make plans with him, if I don't make plans, it's because I'm not that into him. I see what if you have been going out with the guy for a month, and you really got totally busy and unsure of your future schedule? Link to post Share on other sites
Chris2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Is it worth it? If somebody is not unavailable to you in the beginning (busy, not interested, whatever), it's going to only drag on. 6 months their still wish washy. Hell no. Find someone who is interested/wants to get to know you from the get go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Based on the two examples that you gave, are you with any of them today? Chances are, you are not. If someone says to me that they will get back to me on a good time /place for them (be it a dating situation or otherwise), I know per past experiences that 90%of the time I am being blown off, or in 10% of the time they will get back to me with their answer of either no or yes, and if it's yes I will have one more encounter with them then that will be it. Someone who is interested or certainly not interested will tell you if and when they are available. I would tell the person "I am busy all this week and into the weekend but would be available after Wednesday of next week" or something like that so that they can coordinate. Too verbal? Hell no, it's communication at bone slicing efficiency. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Say you ask a girl out on a date, if she is not free on that day, and say that she will let you know a day/when she is free. In the end, did she do what she said? Share your experience For me, I asked a girl out and she said she will check which day is free and get back to me. We then went no contact for about 5 days, after 1.5 week, I ask her has she found out which day she is free, and she gave me a specific time, we went out and she showed a lot of interest. Another time, I asked a girl out for a date, she said she is not sure if she can make it and need to check, I let her check, she got back to me that night and we agreed on a definite plan. However, we went no contact for a week and I guess that pissed her off and she canceled on me in the end with bull**** excuse. Whats your take on such response? Well, I gotta tell ya, if I accept a date with a guy and he doesn't keep in touch with me in between, I'm gonna be losing interest in him, that's for sure. It doesn't have to be a ton, just some light stuff and certainly at least a confirmation call or text a couple of days to a day before the date. Like it or not, the guy has to show some sincere interest. She showed her interest by getting back to you and accepting a date, you can at least pick up the "consistent communication" ball. What was the "bull****" excuse? Have you read these boards? There are countless posts from women who accept dates from guys who don't keep up with communication and don't even confirm the date at some point. These girls are like "wtf. I'm not going to wait for some guy to stand me up". I don't get why you didn't keep up communication with her. Is this how you handle business as well? "Oh, I got the sale, so now my work is done". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Woman's experience: When I was dating, I gave them an automatic "yes" but it didn't mean I wanted to get into their jeans, I was just giving them a shot. After the date if you didn't hear from me, I wasn't interested. I have given my number out, but later changed my mind....not that into them so wasn't going to let them waste time taking me out. I made excuses (I know young and dumb), because I wasn't interested. When I got older (24) I had np just saying no. BUT even saying NO, some guys were relentless (creepers). I have asked guys out, but it didn't mean I was real keen on them, I was curious, and kinda liked them. *people are different on dates compared to hanging out as friends. If I had an instant attraction/solid interest, I communicated between dates, flirted, wanted to see them again. I was persistent and wasn't afraid to show my interest/I chased. I even set up dates (I paid). I dressed sexy too to impress. As an adult I didn't date someone for weeks, then ghosted. I pretty much knew after the first date if there was enough attraction to pursue a relationship. So for all these guys that put up with wishy-washy communication/interest, take it from me, you are wasting your time with these girls. You are not losing out on an opportunity. *Interest should be reciprocated. BUT when it comes to getting that first date, you need to make a strong effort, don't sit around and wait for her to call you back, you must follow up. If the follow doesn't give you any results, move then there is not enough interest there or they are just too busy to sustain a relationship anyways.....move on! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Is it worth it? If somebody is not unavailable to you in the beginning (busy, not interested, whatever), it's going to only drag on. 6 months their still wish washy. Hell no. Find someone who is interested/wants to get to know you from the get go. This is one of the problems. When a person gives them the run around which is an indication that they have low to no interest; but instead of moving on and finding someone else the rejected person continues pursuing the low interest individual. Why don't they just move on instead of continually frustrating themselves by wanting someone who doesn't want them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 If a woman is interested she will clear her schedule. If a girl asked you out that you were really interested in, wouldn't you do the same? Google Corey Wayne YouTube - he discusses the levels of attraction and the experiences of a man as a result. Basically you want a woman who is interested in you as that will make your job much easier and the date a lot more fun and effortless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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