sooshi Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Dear LS friends, My birthday is almost over, and no word from my ex-fiance, the only guy I've been with and who I've loved romantically. I know I should probably be glad to not hear from him, but it hurts more than I thought it would. I thought he might contact me in some way, but nope. Although there have been some some very literal "signs" today that relate to him and where he lives (we live in different countries), I think it's best to chalk them up to coincidences, rather than create something meaningful out of them. I really miss him, and I am in tears. Happy 32nd birthday anyway, little sooshi. Thanks for reading and for listening. "so pardon the dust while this all settles in. with a broken heart, transformation begins." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
srhxo Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I think it's better that you haven't heard from him. It would probably just end up making you miss him more than you already do. Go ahead and cry it out if you have to. Everyone needs it now and then. I hope the rest of your night is better. Sending lots of hugs and birthday confetti your way <3 5 Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy birthday, sooshi! I'm sorry you're going through this. I know exactly how it feels because I was expecting my ex to contact me on my birthday too. But it's alright, you'll be fine. I'm sure he didn't forget it, he was probably not sure whether sending you birthday wishes would be a good idea or not. Regardless, it's over, so you have to understand that these kind of things are not happening anymore. In fact, like srhxo said, it's better this way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy Birthday Sooshi ! and I'm sorry it wasn't the type of b'day you wanted. It does get better, I promise you. x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Oh hun, I'm so sorry I know it probably hurts so much to spend your birthday away from him and also broken up I promise it DOES get better! I think you deserve some major credit for not contacting him....that must've been tough seeing as you were seeing all these signs that reminded you of him You can intrepret these signs in any way you want..I'm a big believer there are no such things as coincidences...maybe these signs meant its time to let him go...that this chapter in your life is over...maybe you will start to see new signs of your future and all the great things/people that have yet to come if you look really closely Happy birthday sooshi!!! We're here for you! Sending lots of love and hugs! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
books2 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hey Sooshi, Hope you had some cake at least I'm sorry about your disappointment. Happy birthday anyways, try to treat yourself to something nice. My 32nd birthday was a little less than 2 months ago and it was my worse birthday ever... I can relate to the disappointment... Keep strong! Books 3 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 (edited) Been there. TBH, I think its better u didn't get the message. The Ex I have been pining for send me a BDAY text last year but honestly, it was like a robot had spat the message out. It was horrible. It actually just irritated me. Honestly be thankful u dint get one. Also, now u don't have to worry about sending one back which a dumpee shouldn't ever really do anyway. What I'm starting to find what helps in this situation, is not to worry about what they are thinking. When we do that, we are just deflecting the real issue which is that we are not comfortable with ourselves. So do whatever, beat yourself up, be upset etc but do it in the context of it all being about you. Although this is more confronting and the truth you see will be ugly, you'll start to remove the Ex from the thought process which is good for the long-term. Edited September 2, 2016 by marky00 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Formerfiveo Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 It's sad to be sad on your birthday. I hope you were surrounded by love and laughter today. Happy birthday, dear sooshi. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 You really shouldn't of wanted to hear from him and kudo's to him for not sending you a message. Sometimes dumpers KNOW that they need to leave the dumper alone so they can heal and move on. You need to keep reminding yourself that he's YOUR PAST. What point is there in revisiting it? Stay NC and move forward. When you're able, casually date again. You met him and you have to put yourself out there again to meet his replacement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy birthday Sooshi. Even though his silence caused you pain, you are on the right path in life and brighter days are ahead. Honour your own true nature and goodness. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy belated birthday! I hope you did something fun and distracting. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy Birthday, Sooshi! Treat yourself by doing something really nice for yourself to celebrate fabulous YOU! I understand your sadness and just allow it to take its course because it's carrying you to a better place, slowly but surely. This time next year will be so much different! Chin up and eat cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hey Sooshi - Happy birthday!!! Better a sad one than a fake one with that ass wipe! It will be brighter next year. You wait and see. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy birthday! I remember my first birthday without my ex. He actually texted me and sent me a gift, and, after I replied to thank him, I never heard from him again. So it was worse in the end. Do something nice for yourself. Get a pedicure or a massage. You will be okay in time. I'm so sorry you are hurting, but birthdays are hard because they mark the passage of time. They remind you that time moves forward without him. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I'm so sorry it was a sad birthday for you. You've just got to think out ahead and schedule your birthday to be with friends or go do something fun on your own if you want to. I have done things like got to a casino or to an animal refuge or go to a river. It's important not to leave those dates open where you are sitting around with time to worry about it. I'm serious. You being proactive about scheduling times with friends and other activities is key to you getting past this. Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy birthday, I hope your day was spent with friends, family and people you love. Nothing really can fill that void of a romantic partner, but things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbl Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Happy Birthday, hun. Hope you spent the day with friends & family. Go and pamper yourself if you haven't already Things will get better! Trust me, they really will- i know this from experience. And it's better you didn't hear from him- it would have messed with your head. This way you can continue with NC with a clear head and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sooshi Posted September 11, 2016 Author Share Posted September 11, 2016 Thank you, dear friends. I had a lot of anxiety that night and was unable to read any responses until a couple of days after, and was away from LS for a while. In that time span, I felt like the storm of sadness, hopelessness, anxiety and depression had kicked in again. I realized then that your support--even though I have not met any of you--meant a lot more to me than receiving contact from my ex. I was especially glad to hear from a couple of people in particular. You are all wonderful. Thank you so much. Tonight, I have had a recurring thought about my ex saying it was easy to move on because "well, that's because nothing happened" and how it was because he didn't put a label (of a break-up) on the end of our relationship. He still said I could visit him and I would see that nothing had changed--just that there would be no title anymore. I think it was disrespectful to say that nothing happened. Maybe not in his world, but in mine, my heart broke. Dreams were lost. Etc. Mostly, as I spend time reading through posts here, I find myself realizing how incompatible we are, how much of an enabler I was (very much so), and how little self-respect I had throughout our relationship (and over the years). I know I did it to myself by agreeing to be in an open relationship when deep down, it wasn't what I wanted. Lesson learned. And... nothing happened? I suppose my heartbreak is nothing. And I just sat there and thought about how I should try to be more enlightened/evolved/whatever and try to see it the way he did. LS, thank you for helping me realize that NC is the way to go. Thank for your unique contribution, and I hope that the support you have directly or indirectly received on here has helped you with your own healing journey. I know that you have made a difference in the lives of others on here as well. Hugs and love, and take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Happy belated birthday lovely sooshi! Link to post Share on other sites
Nadine123 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Happy birthday sooshi! Stay strong, you will get through this. Lots of love and hugs xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
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