ehawee Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 Hi! My ex and I had a super beautiful and perfect love story. We both were good at talking and listening to each other, we connected at every level in a super special and sweet way though we have some different political views. We shared things with each other than never we had been able to share with anybody else. After a couple of wonderful years together we took the next step. Moving together to a very small flat. He is from another country and he was living in mine during all this time. Love was great and so sweet and wonderful at each level. The living together was no so great, I have a very stressful work and he didn’t. We weren’t very patient to each other and after a while we broke up but kept living together which was terrible. Still having sex from time to time. I feel so guilty because I didn’t try enough and I was blocked during this period making things harder. Even though Im sure he didn’t do things right. None of us knew how to manage the situation. He moved to another place and we didn’t see to each other for the next 4 months, which it was totally my fault. Though we wrote to each other sometimes. I kept focus on work avoiding to think and keeping my mind busy in other silly things… I’m good at that as if not thinking avoids me to suffer. I regret it a lot now. Then we met at the end of june and suddenly I realized how stupid I had been. He hold my hands, hugged me, kissed me, and told me I was still the girl of his life and loved me as if nothing would have happened. It was perfect and gave me new hopes. Though he had already made his mind up. It was like we still shared the same love for each other. The fact was that He was going on a trip on his own for a month and then going back to his country. we met three times and we both cried the day we were saying goodbye for good. He sent me this Ben harper song, walk away, before his plane took off. The most beautiful and saddest love song. I wrote him hopelessly sometimes and the last message I got from him was saying he still thought of me sometimes and he still missed me sometimes as well but that we weren’t ever going to be back together. That he didn’t want to keep leading me on. even though how hopeless and miserable and guilty I was feeling I sent him a message saying something like I wished him to be happy and some more stuff. And I told him as well I didn’t want any other cold or empty of feelings answer so that I didn’t expect any. I really meant it. And so it was. He never said a word to me afterwards. since then, a month ago I haven’t written him more so I’m in a NC period. So hard because I can’t stop thinking of him or our love. I still cry a lot, and feel desperate at some times. His parents wrote me so beautiful messages telling me they had never seen him as happy as when he was with me and that we were wonderful together. And begging me to sTay in touch with them. his birthday is in 6 days from now. And I’m not really sure how to proceed. I keep waiting for him to say something but what if he doesn’t? How much should I wait? How long should I be in NC? Should I break it to wish him a happy birthday? I’m so confused. I think I will... but is there something I can say to touch his heart? Part of me wants to fight for him because I know he still loves me and is in pain as I am but just he stopped believing it can work. I thought to take a flight to his city and do something great to show him how much I’m dare to do to get him back. But maybe I should respect him and set him free. It’s harder because we don’t even live in the Same country. He is such a special guy, and with me was the most sweet and the warmest guy ever. But he can be very cold. I’m so emotional and he’s almost the opposite. He’d rather follow his mind than his heart. I’m afraid of that. Now I’m focused on my self, moving on, improving the things I know I have to, reinventing myself because I know I lost the best of me through the difficult times. But I think about him all the time and I can’t stop crying sometimes… Thank you for reading to this hopeless heart afraid of having lost the love of her life. I’m so sure he is my one… I hope some of you can give some hope or bring some light into the darkness!
preraph Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 There are those who follow their minds. Not sure why his mind is telling him not to be with you. Do you know? 1
sooshi Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 If he wanted to be with you, he would find a way to be with you. If he wanted to be with you, he would find a way to reach you and tell you. Maintain no contact, as hard as it is. Work on accepting (the difficult reality, I know) that he does not want to be with you and that the relationship is over. 3
aloneinaz Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Hi! My ex and I had a super beautiful and perfect love story. Um, no you didn't have a beautiful and perfect love story. Folks who have those DON'T break up, ever.. The living together was no so great, I have a very stressful work and he didn’t. We weren’t very patient to each other and after a while we broke up but kept living together which was terrible. You're not compatible as illustrated by what you stated right here. That he didn’t want to keep leading me on. No, he's saying he doesn't feel it with you anymore and want to move on w/his life without you. since then, a month ago I haven’t written him more so I’m in a NC period. So hard because I can’t stop thinking of him or our love. I still cry a lot, and feel desperate at some times. Hon, you're idolizing what was a bad relationship. If it was this "GREAT" relationship, you two would've gotten along and never have broken up. his birthday is in 6 days from now. And I’m not really sure how to proceed. I keep waiting for him to say something but what if he doesn’t? How much should I wait? How long should I be in NC? Should I break it to wish him a happy birthday? I’m so confused. I think I will... but is there something I can say to touch his heart? You're NOT listening to him. You need to leave him alone. There's NO reason to contact/bother him on his birthday. You're only worried about YOUR needs, not his. He wants to move on w/his life and has a new girl in his life? You're simply going to (continue) to look needy, desperate and like a stalker if you keep contacting him. Part of me wants to fight for him because I know he still loves me and is in pain as I am but just he stopped believing it can work. No, maybe he's simply smart. He know you two tried a R/S and it failed. He maybe understands that reconciliations DON'T work and doesn't want any further contact w/you. If he loved you and wanted to be with you again, he'd tell you that! Don't be selfish by continuing to contact him and stir up the drama.. Please, for you, leave him alone. Stay NC so YOU can heal and move on w/your life. You're clearly owning mistakes you made in that relationship. That's great. Learn from them so you don't repeat them in your next R/S. You'd also benefit from stopping all this "love of my life" talk and remembering how "perfect" that R/S was when in fact it wasn't. We've all been where you are. Stay NC and block him on all means of contacting you. Respect his wishes and worry about yourself and your healing. You will get over it and move on to another guy that hopefully you're more compatible with.
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