Shining One Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 I'm considering paying my mom to make a custom dress for my girlfriend's next birthday. My mom is a seamstress with 40+ years experience, so I know the quality will be top notch. I can get my girlfriend's sister to find some excuse to get my girlfriend's precise measurements. Here's where I'm stuck: How do I work dress designs into our conversations? Any ideas? Fortunately, time is on my side.
spiderowl Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 (edited) This could be wonderful or a total disaster. Would I have wanted my MIL to make me a dress - NO! Mind you, she had totally different taste to me. But, I have done seamstress work myself and I would be very intimidated at the prospect of making a surprise dress for my son's girlfriend. Some things to consider: - it is very unlikely your mum and girlfriend would have similar tastes - unless you know exactly the kind of dress your GF likes, favourite colours, etc., it could be a monumental waste of time - your mum would be investing a lot of time in this job for possibly a faintly disappointed response Actually, I can't think of a way this would work, unless your girlfriend chose the dress and material. If you really want to go ahead with this, get your girlfriend to look at dress patterns online and find out her favourite dress colour (not necessarily her favourite colour). You could say your mum is putting together a book of display patterns to show to clients and has asked for her help in choosing something for younger clients who might be looking for a dream, but classic, dress. Edited September 1, 2016 by spiderowl 5
basil67 Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 Bear in mind that dressmakers need to do a couple of fittings. And the measurement taking is a complicated process - it's not just about bust, waist, hip. There are also vertical measurements between each of these points. Once you've got these basics sorted, fittings will be where the intricacies of your girlfriend's figure will be sorted out. FWIW, I just did a pattern making course. One of the other girls in the class had the same waist, bust and length of torso as me. But our custom fitted patterns were quite different. Then when you consider adding design elements....you will need your girlfriend to be part of this process if it's going to work. 4
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 Yeah ....I was reluctant to say a nice idea is **** but I can't see how this can come off w/out her informed involvement. Also I really kinda doubt she'll want a dress from your mom, even if she adores her and your mom's a great seamstress. It's kind of a taboo thing almost - there's a certain distance that mothers generally have to keep from the women who are sleeping w their sons. Is there any cultural element informing this that we're not aware of? Like is this normal for you? 3
Author Shining One Posted September 1, 2016 Author Posted September 1, 2016 Would I have wanted my MIL to make me a dress - NO! Mind you, she had totally different taste to me. But, I have done seamstress work myself and I would be very intimidated at the prospect of making a surprise dress for my son's girlfriend.This isn't an issue. My mom can make just about anything. She does lots of weddings.Actually, I can't think of a way this would work, unless your girlfriend chose the dress and material.This is the idea. I want my girlfriend to choose the design, material, and color.If you really want to go ahead with this, get your girlfriend to look at dress patterns online and find out her favourite dress colour (not necessarily her favourite colour). You could say your mum is putting together a book of display patterns to show to clients and has asked for her help in choosing something for younger clients who might be looking for a dream, but classic, dress.This is a great idea!
Author Shining One Posted September 1, 2016 Author Posted September 1, 2016 Bear in mind that dressmakers need to do a couple of fittings. And the measurement taking is a complicated process - it's not just about bust, waist, hip. There are also vertical measurements between each of these points. Once you've got these basics sorted, fittings will be where the intricacies of your girlfriend's figure will be sorted out. FWIW, I just did a pattern making course. One of the other girls in the class had the same waist, bust and length of torso as me. But our custom fitted patterns were quite different. Then when you consider adding design elements....you will need your girlfriend to be part of this process if it's going to work.These are all good points. Perhaps I'll have to drop the surprise part of the idea.
Author Shining One Posted September 1, 2016 Author Posted September 1, 2016 Also I really kinda doubt she'll want a dress from your mom, even if she adores her and your mom's a great seamstress. It's kind of a taboo thing almost - there's a certain distance that mothers generally have to keep from the women who are sleeping w their sons. My mom's pretty cool and I don't see this being an issue for her. Besides, I would be paying her. She won't accept payment of course, but I'll just pre-pay the next few maintenances on her Lexus as compensation. As far as it being taboo, I hadn't considered that. I wasn't even aware of it.Is there any cultural element informing this that we're not aware of? Like is this normal for you?There's no cultural reasoning behind this. I just thought it would be nice to get my girlfriend a unique dress. My mom hasn't made anything for past girlfriends, but she did make an outfit for a friend I brought to an Indian wedding.
anduina Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 If you have any clothing made by your mother, perhaps you can show it to her and ask her opinion of it without saying that it's made by your mother. If she compliments the item, then you can ask if she's ever considered the idea of having something tailored and so on, and so forth.
Gloria25 Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 I say just browse a magazine with her. A great seamstress can do it with a clip from a magazine. When I graduated from high school and last weeks were for internships of only the top 10%, we had to get our own suits made. I was blessed to have met an older woman who not only had mercy on me cuz I was broke, but she had mad skills. She did it exactly as magazine pic. Others in my class had their lapels all jacked up. She was so sweet too, she said I had an elegant, long and beautiful neck. So, I think what you're doing is so sweet. Next time I go home I want to have a dress that Kiera Nightly and Rihanna sported a while back. There's just something about a custom made thing. But yeah, not sure how the surprise can be kept if measurements are needed . 3
Els Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Yeah, tailored clothes are really one of those things that you can't give someone as a 'surprise'. There is a reason why (IME at least) tailors usually insist on the person being there IRL to take measurements, instead of just letting someone hand them numbers. Plus she should really be able to pick the design, otherwise it'll likely be a huge waste of time and effort. If you really want to give this gift, I think it will be something that you have to involve your gf in. And if she sounds less than keen at the thought of your mum making it (I wouldn't be keen on my SO's mother making me a dress!), drop it and think of something else. 2
basil67 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 One more thing to consider is cost. I realise that you'll sort out labor directly with your mother. But be aware that the cost of quality fabric can be really high. Even with 'mates rates' you'll likely be paying more than the clothes in high street fashion stores charge.
blackcat777 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 I would personally love this. But I'd have to be involved. It would be heartbreaking if it didn't fit. My dad buys me regular (not handmade) clothing still, and I do wish he'd consult about minor details sometimes. If your girlfriend digs cool clothes, I think she'd love it. But it requires involvement.
Els Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 I would personally love this. But I'd have to be involved. It would be heartbreaking if it didn't fit. My dad buys me regular (not handmade) clothing still, and I do wish he'd consult about minor details sometimes. If your girlfriend digs cool clothes, I think she'd love it. But it requires involvement. Your DAD buys you clothing??? Wow. Is this really that common in some cultures??? There is no way in hell I'd be comfortable with giving my dad or my SO's mother my boob and hips measurements... even getting a free dress wouldn't make up for that awkwardness!
preraph Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 Instead of making the dress already, give her a certificate like a gift certificate to have one dress made by your mother and initiate the process between them of putting them together for pattern selection and measurements. She might be too shy to just go do it without you paving the way. Good idea!
Author Shining One Posted September 3, 2016 Author Posted September 3, 2016 There is no way in hell I'd be comfortable with giving my dad or my SO's mother my boob and hips measurements... even getting a free dress wouldn't make up for that awkwardness! Is this the reason most women wouldn't want a dress from their significant other's mother? Or are there other reasons?
basil67 Posted September 3, 2016 Posted September 3, 2016 Is this the reason most women wouldn't want a dress from their significant other's mother? Or are there other reasons? Personally, I have no idea why a person wouldn't want an item of clothing made by a MIL who's an expert seamstress. The only proviso is that I'd get input on the style. The measurement thing wouldn't bother me either - if she's half good, she'd already have an instinctive eye for approximate measurements anyway. It's not like she'd have no idea what size I am lol
Author Shining One Posted September 4, 2016 Author Posted September 4, 2016 The measurement thing wouldn't bother me either - if she's half good, she'd already have an instinctive eye for approximate measurements anyway. It's not like she'd have no idea what size I am lolThis is true. She's very good at eyeballing measurements.
Els Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Is this the reason most women wouldn't want a dress from their significant other's mother? Or are there other reasons? I don't know about 'most women' - it's just a personal preference really. I just think it'd be awkward to give my measurements to a MIL or FIL. Sort of like getting a physical examination done by a MIL or FIL who also happens to be a doctor. Feels strange to me.
jen1447 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Is this the reason most women wouldn't want a dress from their significant other's mother? Or are there other reasons? I've found it's moreso angst on the part of the mother. (The fact of your adult behavior w their son is tougher for her to take than you, given the roles. I know most ppl accept this but there's still always a subtext under every relationship. I keep moms at arm's length mainly for their own sakes.)
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