Attraction seems so fragile, is it easy for people to lose interest suddenly so easy

[Caslina]

Hi,

 

You said you're stuck and don't know why. I think there must be reason why it happens to you over and over again. Could be you.

 

I would advise on asking these women the reason. Let them know you'd like to learn if there's something you did wrong really genuinely as a friend.

 

Opposite sex is your best bet to give you some pointer. Someone who can be really honest with you and you have to be ready to hear it.

[Gr8fuln2020]

In the current world of dating, with so many potential prospects online, easily viewable, we seem to be more prone to fantasizing and seeking for the perfect instead of the realistic or compatible (in a more deeper sense). I think many of us find dating less and less personable/personal or rooted in any kind of emotional commitment that we begin to view the person we're dating as a place-holder until someone better comes along.

 

In a sense, many people settle, until we find the person with whom we really were looking for. Looking back, I am certain that I have been guilty of this as I seem to feel a slight relief if some of the relationships do not work out.

 

It's unfortunate. I am at a point where I am very happy with my life as a single father! Yes, happy. No dating, no pressure, no unnecessary infusion of intangibles that add more angst to my already busy life. I haven't stopped looking, but w/o the urgency or NEED.

 

At my age, I know what works and what doesn't and my expectations and standards have become much more refined and am not willing to compromise on them, making dating even more difficult.

 

All in all, you have to be happy (content) being with yourself. You need to get your own life together, less stressful to be any good to someone else or yourself, right? I think we all know this. The dating world is what it is...but, you have the most control over who you are and how you respond.

[marxman2015]

In the current world of dating, with so many potential prospects online, easily viewable, we seem to be more prone to fantasizing and seeking for the perfect instead of the realistic or compatible (in a more deeper sense). I think many of us find dating less and less personable/personal or rooted in any kind of emotional commitment that we begin to view the person we're dating as a place-holder until someone better comes along.

 

In a sense, many people settle, until we find the person with whom we really were looking for. Looking back, I am certain that I have been guilty of this as I seem to feel a slight relief if some of the relationships do not work out.

 

It's unfortunate. I am at a point where I am very happy with my life as a single father! Yes, happy. No dating, no pressure, no unnecessary infusion of intangibles that add more angst to my already busy life. I haven't stopped looking, but w/o the urgency or NEED.

 

At my age, I know what works and what doesn't and my expectations and standards have become much more refined and am not willing to compromise on them, making dating even more difficult.

 

All in all, you have to be happy (content) being with yourself. You need to get your own life together, less stressful to be any good to someone else or yourself, right? I think we all know this. The dating world is what it is...but, you have the most control over who you are and how you respond.

Thats a very mature advice.

I am a relatively young guy still looking and transversing my way in this jungle. It seems I need to date and fall in love to gain insights and experience to know what I truly want, however, I have yet to get into one relationship. I mean I dont want to settle for a girl whom I am not really so excited about. I want to be with someone who simply blow my socks off.

[Redhead14]

Dating is like shopping for shoes . . . you go to the store, you try on a pair. You walk around the store for a little bit. If the shoes hurt your feet, you put them back.

 

Lots of people will buy a pair of shoes even though their feet hurt just because they are just crazy about the shoes . . . some will wear them anyway and suffer just because they look good and some people will leave them in the back of the closet and neglect them because they can't bear to let them go but then no one is enjoying them . . .

[BlueIris]

I find it just happens when something is eventually said that someone didn't see the same way and they cut you off as a potential partner.

 

For exg I recently met a guy we became friends in the recent months we talked about lots of things but one day he said he was feeling down I questioned why he said he got into a fight with a friend, I pestered about what kind of fight as he was reluctant to go into detail turns out he beat up an aquatience friend for going after a girl he liked in the past and spent lots of time trying to court and she wasn't interested and picked his friend.

 

Boom! right there any potential interest got killed for me on an instant knowing he's able to get that way, it's not attractive and that's prob why he was reluctant to share knowing I'd be turned off that's pretty extreme to me.

 

It could be anything said really between two ppl that just don't mesh right at the starting periods where you know after that you're not compatible

 

So I was attracted but it was killed off.

 

If someone is looking for a life partner, that's always a factor. Not everyone is looking for that lifelong partnership but I think if someone ends it you have to consider this possibility that Omei described.

 

Attraction is fragile or fleeting if you're defining attraction solely as physical attraction. For many, attraction to the other person's character has to develop or even initial physical attraction will evaporate.

[preraph]

Physical attraction isn't at all fragile. It's the personality and behavior attraction that is multifaceted and extremely complex. Physical attraction is pretty much immovable.