couragous Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Well I don't know where to begin,I have fallen in love with a friend of mine I met at school ,he is from a different country than I am and he is in his mid-twenties ,and I am in my early twenties .I told him I was interested . I have known him for 4 years ,I know we didn't hang out and stuff,it was out my hands my fathers restrictions .I am shy but something happened which forced me to admit that I had feelings for him to clear my name (I told him that I was interested but it was okay he didn't feel the same).his response was" when did I found the time to be interested when I barely even knew him?" I really don't understand his answer wasn't +ve or -ve .English isn't his mother tongue.Stupidly I didn't ask him to eleborate or explain his answer I took it as if it was negative ,even though he asked me to attend a class with him afterwards. he used to flirt with me (wink ,eye brow flash ,his body language said he liked me and stuff which left me confused, one day distant and another really flirty).After he knew my feelings he backed off for sometime then I felt he tried be flirty again but I backed off because I don't want him to think I am needy .I didn't want to show him I am weak ,I tried to carry on like it didn't bother me but it kills me , I love him like hell.well we instant message and stuff ,and still talk but it reduced a lot.now everytime he sees me his eyes track me everywhere I go and he gets all smiley and stuff when he sees me,he always staring now.The point is I wont get see him again in month ever again he finishes school,he told once in an instant chat to keep in touch after everyone goes his own way in life.I know for sure he considers me a good friend.I don't know what to do I really care for him a lot .is there a chance this online friendship develops into something more or am I wasting my time?
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by couragous I really care for him a lot .is there a chance this online friendship develops into something more or am I wasting my time? Difficult to tell. It sounds like you have a decent shot at it though. And you'll never know unless you try. You need to stop sending negative signals. Be friendly. Ask him to meet one-on-one in an ambiguous context. By this I mean something which could be a date, but could just be a friendly thing. So lunch or a coffee or a trip to your favourite museum. Something you both like. Not a romantic dinner or a heavy evening event - this will give the game away. If he accepts or suggests an alternative, you're on. If he says no, he's not interested. If you get the non-date, come back and we'll give more advice
Author couragous Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 I am sorry where I live some people including my dad don't agree for me to meet up with guys even as friends.he doesn't have my phone number ,we instant message each other behind my dads back .I don't mind going out with him and he probably wouldn't mind as a friend at least ,but its not in my hands .he leaves to his country in a month from now ,and was wondering if it is possible that we continue having chats and it develops something from there or am I simply wasting my time.he asked me to keep in touch.
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by couragous he leaves to his country in a month from now ,and was wondering if it is possible that we continue having chats and it develops something from there or am I simply wasting my time.he asked me to keep in touch. Would your dad give permission for something within the customs of your country? I suppose that means arranged meetings/marriages. Or would it be possible for you to visit the guy in his country? Otherwise, no it's not possible and you're wasting your time. You can't build a relationship on IMs and chats alone. Sooner or later you have to be together in real life.
lvgrl Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Something needs to be decided about that now, because if you are wasting your time the longer you wait to realize that, the more its going to hurt.
Author couragous Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 I am so depressed its killing me.shall I carry on being just friends or not.He probably will come to my country for visits because he has relatives here.he asked me to keep in touch,and i thought we can do webcam and do voice chat.so should i see what happens or should I lose my friendship all together.
lvgrl Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 You will regret more than anything throwing it away. Keep it, and cherish it. See where it takes you. You never know.
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 In the immortal words of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try" Either go for it, or resign yourself to fate, stop whining and get on with the rest of your life. I'd go for it, but that's just me.
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