Texting heaps then suddenly slowed down.

[Chippers]

I've just started dating this girl -- we met a few weeks ago through mutual friends. Began texting then went on a first date.

 

The first date went great we were the last ones in the restaurant, i had a great time she had a great time, we seemed to be connecting, similar interests and what not. We made out that night.

 

She Would almost always be the first person to message me and we would have long conversations. I asked her out to lunch a few days later we went out. She offered to pay for lunch this time as i paid for dinner. I thought it went pretty well. She invited me in for a drink after lunch and introduced me to her Mum( I wasn't expecting to meet a parent at this stage). I left and got a kiss and tried to make plans for next time. The only day she has off is Sunday (She works 6 nights a week) and we can't do anything that day because its fathers day. Anyway said we'd sort out another time, she agreed.

 

Went back to work, sent her a message thanking her for lunch. But now when i message her she replies but they're mainly conversation killers and would take a lot longer than usual to reply to( She usually replies in 10 minutes or less, now it's about an hour). So i took it as a sign that shes had enough of me for a while and backed off. Next day i didn't message her at all, she didn't message me(She usually would message me first each day).

 

Messaged her the next day, had a brief conversation, still a lot of conversation killers. Asked her if she was free before work on a certain day, she isn't so i left it at there.

 

Am i being paranoid or has she lost interest? Right now i'm playing it cool and won't message her for a few days, but my gut feeling is that she has lost interest, which seems crazy how much she was into me when we did go out to suddenly change.

 

What should i do?

Edited September 1, 2016 by Chippers

[YPey]

I had the SAME Problem a couple of weeks ago (except from the mother part). Went on a date, was awesome, we made out, met her dog.

Before the date she used to message all the time, and reply quickly. After the date less and less, and longer reply times, and just one word answers or just emojis.

 

I was cool about it, but wanted to double check, because im no expert on women, and the mixed singlas drive me insane. On one Hand making out, on the other hand ignoring. so I asked, and was answered - she was not interested.

 

So I would advise, ask her if this is it, or should you go out again?

[bummer]

Since you met her mum and all seemed well (you didn't fart in front of her mum right?), there are two options:

 

be patient and let her attraction guide your next move since a few days without text is perfectly normal. Option two is to find someone else.

 

Since it's only been a few days, here are some plausible yet potentially completely untrue possibilities for you to overanalyze:

 

1. She's rebounding and unsure = losing interest.

2. She's rebounding or reconnecting with an ex = lost interest.

3. She's found someone else she's more attracted too = losing interest.

4. You did something horribly wrong, and she's over it = losing interest.

5. She's busy 6 days a week and feels once in awhile texts are acceptable = you're showing your attraction too much.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Yes, when someone's texting/emailing suddenly decreases dramatically, it means they are no longer as interested. Of course it is frenatic at first, she or he, is baiting you (not in a bad way) until the meet up or until there is loss of interest.

[Ami1uwant]

3 reasons why texting drops off....

 

1. They have lost interest or you aren't the only one they are dating and other person is getting more attention.

 

2. They think the relationship has progressed to a comfortable stage as a couple and not dating..Thus can relax a bit on texting especially if the person doesn't text much.

 

3. Something else in their life has come up like theY are ill, I'll family, higher street with job, busy time with job.

[smudge21]

The reasons are all hers and you can pull your hair out trying to solve that puzzle. Instead focus on what you want to do. You really have two options - continue to make first contact and maybe ask her about it, or take a step back and react in kind.

 

I went through similar and the sudden change, from her texting all day, every day, to nothing at all, was so obvious. I followed in kind then within a few days she was asking what was wrong (eh?). Even though she explained that's how she is occasionally, it didn't ring true in regards how she'd been prior to that for such a long time. Basically, it was the beginning of the end and nothing I could do was going to change the outcome. Once the interest is gone, it's gone. Not saying that's the case here, so keep an open mind.

 

Just remember, the reason people don't get in touch with others is because they chose not to. No one is really ever that busy not to send a text. Just do what you feel is right for you and have no regrets. Often these things are out of our control.

[smackie9]

You forgot to pay a compliment about her mum, like "it was nice meeting your mum, she seems like a great lady.."

 

It's obvious her mom means a lot to her and is an important part of her life, that's why she introduced you two so soon. You not saying anything about her in that message made her think less of you. Or you didn't pass the mum test.

[marxman2015]

From what I learnt in the past as well as from Coach Corey Wayne

 

Women are like cats, sometimes she come to you and is all over you, sometimes they pull back, thats just how they are. Even if she likes you a lot, she may pull back a bit and see if you could handle it, like a subtle test.

 

Now most men fail at this test, since when women start to pull back, the man goes crazy trying to figure out what went wrong, and become so fearful that they think they have to "DO SOMETHING" to get her attention back. As a result, they Overpursue and show neediness and insecurity, which turns her off.

 

All you had to do, when a woman pull back is: you relax and seat back

Dont let her action move you off your center, show her that your life goes on irrespective of her effect on you - Thats the ultimate male strength which is Attractive.

 

If she likes you, she would realise that if she dont do something, she will lose you forever, and she will reach out to you.

 

Now think about what you did when she suddenly gone cold on texting:

- did you pursue her more?

- did you double text?

- did you ask her why she gone cold/ or hint anything at that?

- did you say anything that show a bit of neediness?