Stuck in a hard place

[gustavo]

Stuck in a hard place. Yup. Thats where im at. I wont make this long and boring so feel free to ask anything. So basically i met my ex 4 years ago. We met at school, fell in love, became best friends and really close. Last year she told me she didnt want this anymore, she wanted different things and after 2 months of being a little girl and crying i wished her the best and moved on. So we were together for about 2.5 years.

 

She would message me off and on, little breadcrumb messages. Nothing ever came out of the convos because we never really talked, i went my way she went hers. She started university so wouldve been easy for her to move on, i started work as well and that was it i didnt expect anything again. Would still get breadcrumbs but nothing to talk about. Never bothered me until 3 months ago. She called me and we talked a while. Then we started talking alot after.

 

Said she always thinks about us and how we were and all of that. Something she mentioned also, how people break up and get back together later on and all that stuff. Been bending my head around many things she said and how she acts, getting jealous when i go out with girls, asking people abut the girls i've been with and stuff like that. At the same time she hasnt directly come out and said something, tried to meet up but was difficult so maybe some other time.*

 

I wanted to just put this on a back burner and forget about it but i cant. I still think about her alot and im tryna figure out what to do here. Im split 50/50 right now. Call her and asks her what she wants and what are we? Or just forget it and leave it until she comes put and says something. Im not too much of a fanatic about the 2nd one.*

 

So the question is. What the heck am i to do?

[Sunkissedpatio]

Look it sounds like your ex doesn't want you but also doesn't anyone else to have you and that is the epitome of selfishness. You will never be able to have peace of mind if you continue to stay in touch with her.

 

The best thing you can do is cut the communication off, explain to her it's time for both of you to move on and see where life takes you. If it is meant to be you will both find a way back but continuing to stay in contact while trying to move on is counter productive for you. If she doesn't want you she doesn't get to be jealous of your new dates etc. she's holding you back from being happy, why would you allow this for the breadcrumbs?

 

Do yourself a favour and cut her off. If she wants you for all the right reasons she will commit to you and there will be no reason to go your separate ways.

Realistically you can't be friends right now.

 

Do you know what the worst part of what you are doing is? The moment she finds a guy, you will be dropped like yesterday's garbage and you will be reliving all the pain of two months from a year ago all over again.

[smudge21]

Nice girl. She dumps you but won't let you go live your life and wants to keep you on the back burner, just in case... whilst she goes and lives her life to the fullest. Seriously, cut all contact. None of this is doing you any good. She's making you hang on to her every word and live in hope. She's no doubt loving the fact she can toss you aside and yet you're always there for her whenever "she wants to" contact you. Always on her terms I bet too. Either block or the next time she wants her little ego-bunny to feed her, tell her straight that she left you and ended it. You're not going to be used like this or become her "friend". She clearly has no respect for you, but you surely have respect for yourself?