lostandtaken Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Hello everyone First of all, I'd to apologize for the numerous mistakes I'm about to make, my english isn't my mother tongue. I met a girl about a year ago, and I broke up with her about two month from now. We met online and never really shared any clear picture of us until we met. When we finally met, her appearance had let me a neutral feeling, I didn't know exactly what to feel. Yet, I loved every moment we spent together. It really seems like we were exactly made for each other. I still bear this question in my mind: Is physical attraction really that important ? Could you be with someone you don't find attractive ? - Seems like a pretty stupid question and it probably is, but I'm curious about your opinions.
Rng Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 First, its not a stupid question. Second, I personally could not be with someone I don't find physically and mentally attractive. Just know that when dealing with online dating, if their pictures are all Myspace angles or anything else strange, they're very likely hiding something. It'll definitely surprise you when you show up for the date!
books2 Posted September 1, 2016 Posted September 1, 2016 This is my experience with such a thing: I live in Canada and the first girl I ever been with lives in Australia... She messaged me on some forum out of the blue and we added each other on social medias... This was in the ICQ days or MSN messenger... We started to talk and quickly exchanged pictures... I remember distinctly thinking : ''yuk, she is not pretty''... But she was kind and I still wanted to chat with her... Months passed and we chatted for about 1 year over the internet... In this time, she became my best friend... We would tell each other our lives and give each other advises, played games on MSN messenger together some nights (days for her really)... Anyways... I can't explain it, but overtime, I got so close to her, that she actually became attractive to me physically also. Eventually, some buddies said they wanted to go to Australia and I jumped on the opportunity. I took a few days there to get on a plane and go see her. She was the first person I kissed or had sex with and at that point I was really falling for her... I wanted to stay in Australia and try being with her... I was young and naive and she was a little older, but a lot more mature (or wiser) and she did not let me stay... Our friendship also ended there because things were never the same after... Some days I really miss the friendship we had... I have made new best friends... But this was special in its way. Anyways, I don't know if it was my experience with her that made me change who I was attracted to OR if I was just at an age where you start to think for yourself and discover what you truly like in life... I was about 21 or 22... I remember that before her, I was attracted to the more ''popular'' type of person you see in magazines and such... You know, perfection... the type of pretty face you see all over the TV. After that girl, my perspective had radically changed and I started to be attracted to people for what they are... I became very unattracted to fake things like plastic surgery and such... And just started to appreciate little things others would see as unattractive... Say crooked teeth for example. Now I can say I am attracted to easily 7-8 girls out of 10... There will always be that 1 girl who is just too 'perfect' for my taste and 1-2 girls who have just too much ''flaws'' for my taste (I mean, some people are just gross and make no effort to be healthy)... But all in all, anyone who you would say is ''normal'' will be attractive to me and I like it this way... Also overtime, she will probably become even more attractive to me has I become more and more attracted to the little flaws that make her be 'her'. It's a blessing! If too much things bother you, you just make it harder on yourself to find something you like... This has been my experience, anyways, but now if I find someone is unattractive, I can't really change it anymore... I've tried being with girls that I would find a little too gross and got close to some and even slept with some, but in the end, my feelings of being unattracted to them never changed... I guess if you have been physically around her for over 1 year and you are still not attracted to her, then forget it... But if you newly met her in person, give it a try... Maybe in the end, she will change the way you view attractiveness all together... I find myself always more attracted to people who share some characteristics with girls I have been involved with romantically. Good luck!
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