masaki1085 Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I've been posting here a couple times asking advice about a coworker I am interested in. And once again, I come asking for more advice. In summary, I have been working with this girl for the past couple of years at a part-time job, on and off while we both attend school. I see her every now and then at work, and we're work buddies. Until this little "crush" I guess, I had never hung out with her or talked to her all that much outside of work. For the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to figure out a way to hang out with her. Amidst all of this, she invited me to some event in our local downtown area with her and a bunch of her friends (none of whom I have ever met). It was weird (the fact that I was asked) because I had never hung out with her before, ever. She isn't aware that I am interested in her, and she still isn't. Since that event (last week), I have been waiting for her to sign on IM, and I even gave her a call to try and hang out, but had to leave a message on her phone (she replied to the message I left with an IM, explaining she had to work). She hasn't been online all week. We exchanged numbers for that downtown event the previous week, and I am very nervous about calling her for anything beyond that. I feel nervous because I feel like the numbers were exchanged moreso for that event. We had never hung out prior to then. She hasn't called me since (nor have I expected a call). So (at least in my mind), I feel like I have to wait for an invitation to call her. I don't want to seem stalkerish or anything. -_-; Anyhow, I feel like I should just bite the bullet and call her tomorrow and ask if she would like to hang out. If she does, and it goes well (and if I still feel this way after hanging out with her for an evening), I would like to directly explain to her that I think she's cool and she's fun and I would like to hang out with her sometimes and get to know her better. Nothing as obstrusive like "I want to date you," or "lets be a couple," but just to explain that I am interested in her. I've always been told that the best way to handle these sorts of things is to express your interest early and directly, and not to BS around too long by saying and doing nothing. What do you think? Does anyone feel otherwise to this issue? And if I get blown off, I'm letting this one go. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Let's see what happens. Any advice?
Zaira Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I think you're plans are on track. Just call her and ask her out, and then play it by ear All the best.
Curt Posted July 5, 2005 Moderators Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by masaki1085 Since that event (last week), I have been waiting for her to sign on IM, and I even gave her a call to try and hang out, but had to leave a message on her phone (she replied to the message I left with an IM, explaining she had to work). She hasn't been online all week. Anyhow, I feel like I should just bite the bullet and call her tomorrow and ask if she would like to hang out. {Snip} What do you think? Does anyone feel otherwise to this issue? Any advice? Oh, man, I'm sorry to be one to rain on your parade, but, I don't think there's much chance on this one. I could be wrong, but it appears to me that she's more or less giving you a bit of a blow-off ... not online all week at all? Is she usually online at least a bit? I guess she may be busy and working? I dunno though ... You can always ask I guess ... but like you were saying, don't be too hung up on the results one way or the other. Peace. Curt
phidelt127 Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Wanting to get to know someone better is no crime. Girls that shy away from that, i believe, are too self absorbed. Assuming that someone wants to date you (even if you do) from the get go is a little snobby to me. If she can't be mature about getting to know you too, then is it worth the effort?
Author masaki1085 Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 Thanks for the advice everyone! Hmmm... what do any of you do if you feel the urge of wussing out of something like this? -_-;
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by ~Zaira~ Best way to know is to ask Exactly. Originally posted by masaki1085 Thanks for the advice everyone! Hmmm... what do any of you do if you feel the urge of wussing out of something like this? -_-; Remember: 1. You're a man. We aren't prisoners of our emotions or of female hormones. Just be calm and confident - she'll be way more nervous, even if she doesn't look it. You have nothing to lose, even if she says no. 2. It will hurt more long term if you wuss it. You'll be kicking yourself and hating yourself for ages after. 3. It is difficult to muck this phone call up. Either she wants to go out with you or not. Unless you are really outlandish in your invitation, the result is predetermined. If it helps, invite her to something ambiguous and "deniable". Something where she will be puzzling if it's a real date or not. So lunch or a coffee, not dinner or anything heavy.
Author masaki1085 Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 I think I got blown off actually. :\ Well, I called her at least. Left a message, asked for a callback, but no reply, and no IM. But, perhaps she was busy and could not get a chance to get back to me yet. I guess I shouldn't give up ALL hope. But, I'm proud that I at least tried. Who knows what'll happen.
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