HeBrokeMyHeart Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 So I was dating this guy last year for about a month, we had a great time, got on very well together but for some reason i wasn't happy with the way he was treating me, he hardly ever made time for me and took forever to reply to me and I had the sense he wasn't that into me. Doing myself a favour I texted him and told him that I think we might as well call it quits, he got a bit pissy and complained was it because I had spoken to my friends about it. He completely ghosted me after that, and I went about my way. About 2 months later he messaged me out of the blue, no explanation for his uncalled for reaction and acted as if nothing was wrong. (First reappearing act). We messaged back and forth a little bit, I made my response time very long and was very short with him. Mainly because I was a bit weary of the whole thing, and thought I'd never hear from him again. This continued to happen up in till Christmas when we started speaking more frequently, during that time he tried booking up with me, I told him that it wasn't going to happen and he never worked hard enough for it or me in the process of dating (we never slept together) he said he wish he did and kind of said that he wish could go back and do things differently (a load of bollocks) anyways we spoke on and off and at one point during his reappearing act he asked if I was seeing someone and when i said I wasn't and then he announced he was then kind of disappeared again. Around about February this year I kinda went through a bad patch with family issues, such as my mum and dads divorce, my nan being diagnosed with cancer and all my finals for uni. And in a weak moment I slept with him, I know I shouldn't have but I needed to relief my stress, being on medication I couldn't drink and well he was there and available. Anyways we slept with each other & it was our first time seeing each other since we dated, he got us a hotel and he got a bit jealous and curious when he saw I was texting another guy (a friend of mine) Anyways after that we didn't speak and I went about my life, he then reappeared again in May! Dirty talking ( wanting to hook up again). I went about my life and kinda blew him off now being in a better place, he then reappeared again in June! More dirty talk, I was drunk at the time and kinda responded before blowing him off in the morning. I then had a suspicion he was seeing someone the last time he was talking to me which ended up being true. I called him out on it when he tried messaging me again and he completely ignore it and didn't message me back. I left it and went about my life. He then contacted me again last week now telling me that he was seeing someone at that time but isn't now. And tried apologising and working his way out off it. I was having none off it, called him out on his bull****, told him what I thought and told him he wasn't worming his way out of this so we could "hook up" and that I wasn't looking for a cheap thrill and that he has more than proved that he basically doesn't deserve me. He once again apologised and said I was right and being a kiss Ass. I went about my life once again and for some evil stroke of unluckiest fate i run into him yesterday at the pub, he then uses this as the perfect reason to hit me up again last night saying about fancy seeing you earlier and asking how I was. I replied and shut the convo down. I just want to know why he keeps reappearing? I know he's after a hook up, and I certainly do not want to be with him. But no matter how many times I shut him down and tell him it's not happening he keeps trying to worm his way in. Guys can you explain this? Surely being turned down numerous time damages your ego?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 It's not damaging his ego because he isn't invested in you. If he had feelings, it would be a different story. He's is looking for a hook-up, so you're doing the right thing turning it down if that's not what you want. He continues to try because he probably figures you'll give in at some point. He'll go away soon enough.
Author HeBrokeMyHeart Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 Thanks for that, explains the ego thing!! Yeah he's starting to become like this annoying fly in my ear now that no matter how many times I squat him away he keeps coming back. Let's just hope he finds the front door sooner rather than later
smudge21 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 He sees you as an option, and nothing more. Set yourself higher than that and become someone else's priority.
Leigh 87 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 You don't need to "tell" a man that he does not "deserve" you. He knew he HAD you alllll to himself - and yet he didn't feel strongly enough. So... there is just no use trying to get him to see something that he will never feel about you. YOU should KNOW you deserve more than cheap thrills and ACT accordingly, without having to declare it. I learnt this the hard way! Men think we are pathetic when we do the whole " geez, look at me, I am too good for this cheap casual stuff"... em, ok he thinks, then WHY DID YOU OPEN YOUR LEGS all those times, when he offered NO hope of committment, long term plans or any sign of acting remotely into you?! Please just go seek out men who are into you rather than waste break on men who are not. Aside from to politely decline with a "thanks but I am not interested". No need to go into more detail. He doesn't need to know how you deserve better.
preraph Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 People will go down to the lowest level of consideration if you'll let them. If you don't want someone who appears and disappears and reappears, then don't respond when they reappear.
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