AMJ Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Around midnight last Saturday I get this "Hi AMJ" text which I don't respond to until the next morning. I have no clue who it is. I do the whole "I just got a new phone, sorry, who is this" thing and he says "Hey, it's Matt from Bumble". And I still don't know who that is. I probably gave him my number months ago and he just now is getting around to using it, is what I'm thinking. So he sends a picture and I now vaguely remember talking to him. Our textversation is like three lines long and then he says "Ok we will talk soon." I don't respond. He looks like a less hot Matt McConaughey, so we'll call him McMatt. Tonight, McMatt texts me- "Why are you rude?" me- "I didn't realize I was rude" McMatt-"Well usually when someone calls you, you call back or at least send a text saying hey sorry I was busy I meant to call you or message you back. So yeah it comes off as rude or inconsiderate." I did actually not even realize he called me. I use my personal phone for work and it's been super busy these past two days, but I look and there is a VM from him that I just now see for the first time. me-"In all honesty I just realized you called me right now. It's been a crazy week at work and this is also my work phone. So I am sorry" McMatt- "Oh hmm what works for you AMJ?" me- "what do you mean?" McMatt-"throw me a bone lol" me- "Well usually guys try to talk to me, get to know me, then ask me out, and we take it from there" (I was thinking, WTF does he want me to say) McMatt- "Well I've tried calling you twice already lol" I was confused and he explains he called me months ago, I guess. And again I didn't know it. Up until this point I thought HE was the rude one and now I feel bad because, it actually is possible that he called me and I just missed it. Then he texts me this picture he took from my profile and asks for more photos and asks me to answer the phone when he calls in a half hour. So I did that. And as soon as I heard his voice, I wanted to hang up (2nd time a guy from Chicago has had not great phone skills..). He asked me if I was a girly girl (do women actually admit to being girly girls??) and said a slew of other really obnoxious things about LA stereotypes. Because he's lived in California for an entire year and thinks he's an expert on the culture here. So I agreed to go out with him this weekend because I wanted to avoid further backlash for being rude. But I'm definitely going to cancel because just the tone of his voice and things he said on the phone irritated the crap out of me. And then I remember that the last guy I went out with and looked forward to going out with actually might be clinically insane. So maybe an irritating voice isn't so bad. 1
basil67 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Could this be a Pick Up technique? Insult a girl till she goes out with you? At any rate, I wouldn't consider dating him for a moment. Far too aggressive for my liking. And a wanker to boot. Sounds a bit scary too. 5
BaileyB Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 He sounds like a jerk. If you don't want to go out with him, don't go out with him. 2
Author AMJ Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 He's a tool, no I won't go out with him. I knew he was trying to be crafty. I don't get why you guys need to use this game anyway? Why not just have a normal conversation? What women does this stuff work on? It just felt so fake, talking to him. Transactional even. Are guys who use these techniques just socially impaired? Or think it's the quickest means to their end (which is insulting a girl until she feels the need to sleep with you)? 2
Toodaloo Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 AMJ the guy is a tool... I doubt he did ring you months ago. He is just being insulting, clingy, needy, passive aggressive, and the worst of all plain old dull. What a complete and utter phallus. Oh and yes - guys who do this ARE socially impaired. 3
Arieswoman Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 AMJ, He texts you at midnight and says it's you that's rude ?! Gee whiz! Sounds like he'd been out, had a few beers and was bored. He asked me if I was a girly girl (do women actually admit to being girly girls??) and said a slew of other really obnoxious things about LA stereotypes. ^^^ It's him that's being obnoxious. I'd cancel the date, then block & delete. Next ! 5
Els Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I'd just block him, honestly. Sounds like a douche. 5
ttherrera Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I'd just block him, honestly. Sounds like a douche. Agree on this. Block and ignore everything he says. 2
Larryville Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I'd just block him, honestly. Sounds like a douche. Yup! Countless thread about why guys are frustrated with OLD… main reason? Way too many guys who are complete jackasses and the result legit, sane, respectful men suffer as a result. I know you did not “want to be rude” but you should have just told him to F’ off! Ladies don't be afraid of being rude! 4
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Ugh, been here myself many, many times. It's amazing how these guys actually made me question myself and my manners. Well, for about a nano second and then I remembered that if I'm ever rude or dismissive there is an absolute reason for it. NEXT! 2
BluEyeL Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 He sounds like a jerk. If you don't want to go out with him, don't go out with him. Yup, he's using negging and he's a jerk anyway, you don't want to be with him. I wouldn't. 2
jen1447 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 He sounds adorable. What women does this stuff work on? Some w generally low self esteem, unfortunately, or just noobs who don't really know the game. 2
mortensorchid Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Sweetheart, bail out now while you still have the chance. This guy is not a good guy no matter how you slice things. He's inconsistent, obviously something else fell through and he vaguely remembered chatting with you weeks ago, he was bored and decided to grasp at a straw. You bit. But you can still get free. Cut bait, block him and move on. 1
Author AMJ Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 (edited) LOL and it's all coming back to me now. I DO remember this guy. In my OP how I said "2 guys who killed it on the phone from Chicago" lol...this is the same guy. I think maybe around April/May we talked and again, I couldn't stand him on the phone, wanted to hang up immediately just like last night. So I sent him a text saying I didn't really think we were a good match and cancelled that date. I think he replied "Well you're not really my type either but I figured why not give it a shot" and I left it at that. Last time, his big line was something like him being a sweet wholesome midwestern guy. I remember back then him saying how he was having a hard time dating around here. I can't imagine other women would respond much differently than I am. He tries really hard to sound cool, kept talking about "I usually hang out in the Playa, do you know where that is?" lol yes I know what that is....you should just stay over there. He tries to sound like a surfer from an 80s movie. One of the pictures he sent me he wasn't smiling and trying to look tough, and he asked me if I got it in the text, saying "did you get that one pic of me, where I look like military" I said, "um yep! Were you in the military?" Him- "um, no." Like...wtf? Who is this guy. He asked for pics of me and I sent him my preschool photo. Part of me thinks he deserves to get stood up, but then I'd have to deal with him telling me how rude I am. Which I'm sure I will get for cancelling the date too. For the second time. What a headache. I feel like I'm dealing with a toddler. Edited August 31, 2016 by AMJ 1
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 (edited) Girl just grow a backbone and tell the guy you are not interested, then proceed to block/delete. That's all you had to do right from the start....don't let people push you around like that. There are times it's ok to be a B$%^&. Edited August 31, 2016 by smackie9 4
Author AMJ Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 I agree! People always tell me I don't give enough guys a chance or need to be more open to guys I'd normally reject so...there it is. I DID tell him I wasn't interested and then forgot I did that when he contacted me months later.
Miss Peach Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I agree with the others. Cancel and move on. Don't let him bait you back in. Why even waste your time on someone manipulative who couldn't even hold an enjoyable phone conversation and has double standards? The text at midnight alone would have had me running. 1
jen1447 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I DID tell him I wasn't interested and then forgot I did that when he contacted me months later. Sucks to have everyone after you. Perils of being a hottie. 1
joseb Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 He asked for pics of me and I sent him my preschool photo. Why would you do that? That's super weird...bit creepy tbh... anyway... yeah he's an idiot, not sure why you give these clowns the time of day AMJ, you can do better 1
Author AMJ Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 Why would you do that? That's super weird...bit creepy tbh... anyway... yeah he's an idiot, not sure why you give these clowns the time of day AMJ, you can do better Bc that's not the picture he wanted, I thought it was funny. My preschool picture is not creepy Joseb. Thanks I know I can do better.
ChickiePops Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Bc that's not the picture he wanted, I thought it was funny. My preschool picture is not creepy Joseb. Thanks I know I can do better. No but..sending a random man a picture of you as a young child...it actually is a little creepy. Think about how many pedophiles are out there and then reconsider. I'm sure your intentions were to be funny but...just..don't do that again ok? 4
Imajerk17 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 It is, actually. Some people call it negging. Basically, this guy is extorting a date out of the OP by manipulating her. Few women want to think they are being mean, and will go out of their way to feel like a good person. This guy is calling the OP rude for not responding to him, and now she feels obligated to go out with him as a result, despite the fact that he rubs her the wrong way. His douchebaggery will not end. It got him a date, so he will keep doing it. Yep, pretty much. It's astounding how many women (both genders actually but I do think this is more of a female thing) care about the opinions of people they can hardly even stand. Some of the "darker" PUA stuff tries to exploit this tendency. Anyway, it's a bad habit, because you go from trying to impress someone you don't like, to trying to win them over, to ending up in a bad relationship. Meanwhile, good for you for cancelling the date OP.
Author AMJ Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 Everything about OLD is creepy. I really don't like that there's any photos of me out there for pretty much anyone to see. I think I'm calling it a day with OLD for good. I haven't met a single normal person that way and it's so time consuming. Goodbye OLD!
preraph Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Well, do I really need to say it? He is too pushy and doesn't even know you. So whose sin is the bigger between you two rudeness-wise? I say it's time to text him, "Well, at the risk of being rude, I'm letting you know I'm not interested." 1
Miss Peach Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Bc that's not the picture he wanted, I thought it was funny. My preschool picture is not creepy Joseb. Thanks I know I can do better. I've run into the same. I have several pics including a few full body shots. I really don't get what these guys are getting asking for these - especially after meeting. But I refuse to provide any pics to guys I haven't met. They have enough on OLD to figure out if they want to meet. I don't want my picture to wind up being used by a scammer or something.
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