Sar880 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I always think I found the right guy, but 9/10 times within two weeks everything falls apart and I find out he's a player, or was just trying to use me. I'm only 15 and I know I'm young but I'm already sick of this game, people say to enjoy being single and I have, but I'm tired of it. I want to find someone I can be with for more than just a month or two. I would say I'm very mature for my age in terms of relationships and I've learned and been through a lot, especially in the past year. I just need help finding the right person and not getting caught up with the horney boys just trying to use girls.
BaileyB Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Sweetie, at your age, it will be hard to find a boy who isn't just horny and trying to have some fun. You are so young. There is no need to rush into anything... I have a fiend who married her boyfriend from age 15. They are currently getting a divorce and she feels like she rushed everything - she missed so many experiences. You should be enjoying your life, figuring out what you want to do, and having fun with friends (including dating - but nothing serious). Trust me, boys need to mature and there is plenty of time for you to find a good relationship. Don't rush it! 2
JewelD Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 You're 15, teenage boys are mostly just looking for sex at that age. Maybe a short term relationship, but you shouldn't be looking for anything serious. At 15, you don't even fully know yourself yet. You're going to change a lot in the next few years, physically, mentally and emotionally. Just try to have fun and not take dating too seriously right now, because as you said, 9 times out of ten, boys your age are just looking for sex. 2
clia Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 You avoid being played by establishing, and sticking to, boundaries. Don't accept last minute dates. (You should already have other plans because you are a busy, popular, girl, with lots of outside interests.) Do not accept "Netflix and chill" dates. Expect him to take you out somewhere in public. Netflix and chill leads to making out on the couch, which leads to .... Do not go to his house for the first 6 or 7 dates, at least. Certainly don't go there if his parents aren't home. Don't be his booty call. Don't answer if he calls or texts after 9 p.m. You can respond the next day. Don't put yourself into a position where you can be "played." You have control over what you do and what happens. Be aware. If a guy likes you, you will know. Don't fall for words. Words are easy. Fall for action and genuine signs that he cares about you. 2
BaileyB Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 You avoid being played by establishing, and sticking to, boundaries. Don't accept last minute dates. (You should already have other plans because you are a busy, popular, girl, with lots of outside interests.) Do not accept "Netflix and chill" dates. Expect him to take you out somewhere in public. Netflix and chill leads to making out on the couch, which leads to .... Do not go to his house for the first 6 or 7 dates, at least. Certainly don't go there if his parents aren't home. Don't be his booty call. Don't answer if he calls or texts after 9 p.m. You can respond the next day. Don't put yourself into a position where you can be "played." You have control over what you do and what happens. Be aware. If a guy likes you, you will know. Don't fall for words. Words are easy. Fall for action and genuine signs that he cares about you. This, is great advice. Read it and re-read it. Dating can be great fun, but don't let it stop you from studying, developing friendships, and enjoying your life. And definitely, set clear boundaries and know that you always have control over what happens. And please know - don't rush into anything thinking that you "should"do it, or everyone else is doing it, or that it will bring you happiness, or help you to keep the boy... Don't rush things... Enjoy this stage in your life. It will pass before you know it and you will never get the time back. Have fun! 1
Romantic Gentleman Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Guys hormones are going crazy at your age, so yes it's hard to tell whether a guy is just wanting some, or seeking a serious relationship, because guys will act like they want something serious until they get what they accomplished to do, then leave. I was never like that in high school, but I knew plenty of old friends that used that method to have sex. Like the comments above mine, you just gotta be patient, and don't rush into things.
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 (edited) I'm sure the last thing you want to hear right now is "you're too young, don't rush you have so much time" because you want what you want now! We have all been where you are and can certainly empathize with wanting to experience love and having a boyfriend and what others around you are experiencing. And it feels like it will never happen but it will, trust us when we tell you that. Clia gave you some excellent pointers that you can practice and build on. These are good years for you to start learning how to respect yourself and how to get guys to respect you so that you don't get played. Learning about guys' motives is also about making smart choices for yourself. Unfortunately the guys in your age group might not have the maturity yet to want more than playing around. You might have to wait until high school until you meet guys a few years older who want something more than just hookups. Edited August 31, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio
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