Cros. Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Good morning, I am new to this forum and it seems like it's a very supportive community in regards to relationships and breakups. Because of my recent break up in which is tearing me to pieces, I would like to express what I am currently going through. I have been dating a girl for 8 months. We have met online and have become best friends. We later began dating. Our relationship was perfect. We went to prom together, we met each others families, we went on dates and talked all the time even to the point we'd sleep on the phone together since we were in a long distance relationship. However, things later began to go down hill 5 months into our relationship. I was head over heels for this girl. Because she lived an hour away, I would commute in which took 3 hours by train and two buses. I didn't mind, because she really won my heart. It explains why I sacrificed so much for her and was always committed and faithful to her, thus getting us promise rings etc. However, as time went by, she talked to her ex behind my back. What broke my heart was the fact that she said that I was her first guy friend and that the relationship with her ex wasn't serious considering that they have never met. However, several times behind my back she would speak to him in which initiated arguments between us two, me being the victim because of her betrayal towards me. However, after the situation occurred, she begged for forgiveness. Me being the merciful and loving guy that I am, I forgave her since she convinced me that she was truly sorry. Things went perfect again, but as time went by, she began to start acting funny towards me. You see.. she would stop expressing emotion towards me. She told me that it was because that's just the type of person she is, a serious person that doesn't show much emotion. The contradiction in this regard is that in the beginning of our relationship, she didn't have a problem expressing her love for me at all. We later began going on and off because of the way she was treating me. She would send me mixed messages. What really bothered me was the fact that even though I sacrificed so much money and time and traveling just to see her for 2 hours, she acted like as if she didn't care and basically showed that she didn't appreciate me.. It broke my heart. When we were talking while at the mall, we had a conversation about our futures. Since she wasn't showing emotion towards me, I expressed that I might join to military. Me saying this, I was testing her to see if she would care since she previously never wanted me to go. She shrugged it off and acted like she didn't care. After the conversation, I told her I was going to go outside for a few minutes. I was trying to gather my thoughts. She later sends me a text saying that she left since her ride came.. and boy I was broken. That's when I ended the relationship with her, later to find out she was talking to her ex again in which caused an argument between us two. We reconciled again afterwards, but my lack of trust began to kick in. We were on and off again, but we both cried to each other letting each other know that we love each other. She told me that she no longer wanted a relationship with anybody, but that she wanted to focus on herself. So, I gave her the space she needed. I later find out that she began to talk to a guy she just met through social media from her town. She quickly jumped into a relationship with him which is something that tore me to pieces. She knows I truly love her, but she began to have sex with the guy and he treats her like ****.. It breaks my heart because I'd never hurt her or do anything like that to her.. The man is even about to have a child with his ex girlfriend.. I just can't believe that she changed on me after all that I have done for her. Her parents love me and they truly know how much I love her which explains why her parents apologized for her actions. She also knows how much I feel about her, but she seems to care less and leave me for a guy that will never love her as much as I have. That's what breaks my heart.. I have found out through other people that she has tweeted about her once having a good guy, adding a sad face, and it was clear that it was a reference to me as she has admitted.. I have also found out that she wants me again but that she doesn't want me because she feels that she isn't good enough for me.. This all kills me because I really wanted to help build her up and be there for her, but it's her loss.. I was a good man to her and I know that no guy would compare to me in regards to my love for her.. I'm just so broken because I am in love with her, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.. I truly thought she was the one, as she once said, but she gave up on me.. She said she wasn't happy with the relationship because of the arguments, yet it was due to her actions and she knows that it's her fault.. I'm just hurt..
Late Nights Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Everything will be alright. It sounds like you two are still young. You sound like a nice guy and as for her it seems like she still doesn't know what she wants even tho she had someone good right there in front of her face. I know you are sad that you could of build her up. I was in a similar relationship like yours. At the end of it shes not going to change right now she is just trying to figure herself out. Let it burn and take that L. In life you realize what is meant to happen is going to happen. You have something better that is lining up for you in the future.
aloneinaz Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 What is there about her or that toxic relationship to really miss? What am I missing? You're very young and are gaining relationship experience here. Let me help you. A woman/girl like that who demonstrates those poor character traits is what YOU DON'T want. You need to relax, breathe and cut all ties/contact w/her. She's not your problem anymore. The sooner you go strict NC, avoid any ways to hear about what she's up to, you'll heal and feel better. At your age you should be dating many different people. Find someone who's not as selfish, immature and low character as this last one was. They are out there. Again, you're young. Have fun and don't take dating or relationships so seriously. They all have their ups and downs. 1
Author Cros. Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 Everything will be alright. It sounds like you two are still young. You sound like a nice guy and as for her it seems like she still doesn't know what she wants even tho she had someone good right there in front of her face. I know you are sad that you could of build her up. I was in a similar relationship like yours. At the end of it shes not going to change right now she is just trying to figure herself out. Let it burn and take that L. In life you realize what is meant to happen is going to happen. You have something better that is lining up for you in the future. You're right. I'm 19 and she's 18. It's just that we been through so much together and I can't believe she just betrayed me like that.. It hurts because I'd never do that to her.. but it's her loss. It hurts but there's nothing I can do. I think I just need therapy now because I'm beyond depressed.
Author Cros. Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 What is there about her or that toxic relationship to really miss? What am I missing? You're very young and are gaining relationship experience here. Let me help you. A woman/girl like that who demonstrates those poor character traits is what YOU DON'T want. You need to relax, breathe and cut all ties/contact w/her. She's not your problem anymore. The sooner you go strict NC, avoid any ways to hear about what she's up to, you'll heal and feel better. At your age you should be dating many different people. Find someone who's not as selfish, immature and low character as this last one was. They are out there. Again, you're young. Have fun and don't take dating or relationships so seriously. They all have their ups and downs. Correct, she isn't my problem anymore. I just wish she didn't change on me.. I wish she felt the same about me.
aloneinaz Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Correct, she isn't my problem anymore. I just wish she didn't change on me.. I wish she felt the same about me. Here's a couple of things to think about.. 1) She's YOUNG. Most kids her age don't know what they truly want. 2) Everyone has the right to end a relationship they are not happy in or don't feel like is giving them what they need. 3) Most folks in their lives have dumped or have been dumped. It happens MILLIONS of time each day. 4) Think of all the very rich, attractive celebrities who get dumped. It happens to everyone. The bottom line is dating and relationships are on a trial basis. You date or have a relationship to try someone on to see if there's long term compatibility with them that could lead to marriage. You will in your life have to end a R/S when you don't feel it. The challenge? Is to NOT take dating or relationships so seriously. They are not life or death situations. They are a relationship. Your young, have fun dating and exploring different girls with different personalities. That's what your youth is about. Figuring out what types of girls who most connect with. Again, have fun with it. You'll get past this. The way to do it the fastest is to stay NC. Don't keep tabs on what this person from your PAST is up to. Time heals quickly. Date when you're ready. As soon as the next gal comes into your life, you'll forget about this last one.
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