marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I had 4 dates in with this girl I met online, we are both in our early twenties She has a full time job Mon to Fri, and now she has started school (Master Degree) on Sat and Sun (9am to 6pm) as well So far, we went to dinners, movie, a walking along the coast, hiking in the afternoon with lunch, a walk and relaxing at the beach in the 4 dates Signs she is interested: - She touches me (tap or punch my arm when I tease her, run her finger on my palm) - She stands really close, our arms bumping into each other - She opens up to personal question I ask, and ask me back - She mention about future activites - She arrives early, except on the 4th date where she was a little late but apologised - Everytime I paid for the dinner, she would offer to pay for the next date - She sniff my chest after we hike while we are seating next to each other - She initiates texting with me in between dates, and give me compliments - She bought me snacks as gifts from her trip - She seem really relaxed and emotionally opened when we just sat at the beach and talk about the most nonsense stuff for an hour - She gave me counter offer when the day I suggested isnt good for her Now after the 4 dates, I ask her out for movie on Sat. She told me that as her school days start this weekend, she think she may cant make it this week.. I told her alright maybe another time She said sorry will let me know when she has time And that's that Need some advice on this situation... can somebody shed some lights please?
PegNosePete Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 She said sorry will let me know when she has time How long ago was this? I would do as she says: wait for her to let you know when she has a free day. But don't hold your breath, and don't put your life on hold, because it may never come. It's the typical post-interview response, don't call us, we'll call you. If it's been more than a couple of days, chances are she's lost interest. 1
angel.eyes Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I would give her a week to get back to you since there are extenuating circumstances, then move on.
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 How long ago was this? I would do as she says: wait for her to let you know when she has a free day. But don't hold your breath, and don't put your life on hold, because it may never come. It's the typical post-interview response, don't call us, we'll call you. If it's been more than a couple of days, chances are she's lost interest. It was just yesterday On a side note, when I ask her out for the 4th date, she agreed to the activity but said that she wasnt free the day I ask for, and she would check and get back to me for another one. In the end, I remind her of that after 1.5 week and she did give me the 4th date.
Larryville Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I’m sorry Marx but this seriously sounds way too needy. You are processing every little nuance for what? If you are not getting what you think you NEED, Move on. You have some deeper demons and you need to address what those could be.
TXGuy Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I've had a full time job while pursuing an advanced degree. The time demands of doing that are extreme. Her availability is not likely to improve until she is done with her degree. Not many women/men will be content to accept the little bit of free time that is available, even assuming she wants to give you what little free time she has. You have to ask yourself if that will be enough for you. If not, that is ok. The timing wasn't right. If so, you have to accept the fact that she will not be there for you as much as you would like while she is in school. 1
randall Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I’m sorry Marx but this seriously sounds way too needy. You are processing every little nuance for what? This. She has a full-time job and is starting school this week. And you're concerned she's lost interest because she needs the weekend to prepare for the new academic year. 1
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 I’m sorry Marx but this seriously sounds way too needy. You are processing every little nuance for what? If you are not getting what you think you NEED, Move on. You have some deeper demons and you need to address what those could be. I think you are right on the money. I figured I do have these inner demons, it is due to all the bad dating experiences I have had this year. Mulitple times where I had good dates with women, then they suddenly went cold/ghost. Each time it happened, I get more bitter and doubtful about everything. I want to get out of this "hole" of insecurity, but it's hard...
introverted1 Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I had 4 dates in with this girl I met online, we are both in our early twenties She has a full time job Mon to Fri, and now she has started school (Master Degree) on Sat and Sun (9am to 6pm) as well To be fair, it sounds as though she has a really full schedule. While I am usually firmly in the camp of "interested people act interested," in this case what I am seeing is someone who literally does not have a single day off during the week and likely has schoolwork to do at night. This just might be a really poor time for her to start a new relationship. I'd let her come to you, but don't be surprised if she doesn't.
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 I've had a full time job while pursuing an advanced degree. The time demands of doing that are extreme. Her availability is not likely to improve until she is done with her degree. Not many women/men will be content to accept the little bit of free time that is available, even assuming she wants to give you what little free time she has. You have to ask yourself if that will be enough for you. If not, that is ok. The timing wasn't right. If so, you have to accept the fact that she will not be there for you as much as you would like while she is in school. I am willing to accept such a timing problem, it's just that I am getting insecure about her interest..
randall Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I am willing to accept such a timing problem, it's just that I am getting insecure about her interest.. I hate to say it but I think your insecurity is going to be a huge problem. It was only yesterday that she said she would be a bit busy this week because of the new school year. You've now come to a forum and posted about it asking for advice. It's been one day. If you don't get a hold of your insecurity you'll definitely lose her (and any other girls you try to date). If there's on thing girls really hate it's men who are overly needy.
stillafool Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I am willing to accept such a timing problem, it's just that I am getting insecure about her interest.. If you have insecurity problems maybe you should try dating women who are more needy and who needs as much interaction and communication as you do. I notice that needy people seem to fall for people who are not needy. This girl, who I admire btw for keeping her nose to the grind, is more than likely going to disappoint you in the end.
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 If you have insecurity problems maybe you should try dating women who are more needy and who needs as much interaction and communication as you do. I notice that needy people seem to fall for people who are not needy. This girl, who I admire btw for keeping her nose to the grind, is more than likely going to disappoint you in the end. I see your point, however, I do not have a choice for my attraction towards her, I know I will have to work on my own demons
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 I hate to say it but I think your insecurity is going to be a huge problem. It was only yesterday that she said she would be a bit busy this week because of the new school year. You've now come to a forum and posted about it asking for advice. It's been one day. If you don't get a hold of your insecurity you'll definitely lose her (and any other girls you try to date). If there's on thing girls really hate it's men who are overly needy. I see this problem too, true I am needy in the inside, but I have been controlling my actions towards her so that I don't think she would notice any of it, at least for now:confused:
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 To be fair, it sounds as though she has a really full schedule. While I am usually firmly in the camp of "interested people act interested," in this case what I am seeing is someone who literally does not have a single day off during the week and likely has schoolwork to do at night. This just might be a really poor time for her to start a new relationship. I'd let her come to you, but don't be surprised if she doesn't. "Women helps you when they like you" I see what you are saying Hopefully I get a reply
stillafool Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 I see your point, however, I do not have a choice for my attraction towards her, I know I will have to work on my own demons Yes but you have a choice in who you pick as a mate. If you see that a girl is independent that should automatically raise a red flag for you about compatibility and not get involved. There are tons of needy women, far more than men so you should have no problem finding one of them.
Author marxman2015 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Posted August 30, 2016 Yes but you have a choice in who you pick as a mate. If you see that a girl is independent that should automatically raise a red flag for you about compatibility and not get involved. There are tons of needy women, far more than men so you should have no problem finding one of them. Thats true for the long run. I will try my best to get this girl first and see if it works. I have never been in a relationship before, so I just want to feel it out with the girl I am attracted to:)
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