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Posted
No? Well, there's my dad. Out of WWII, saw my mom. Those weren't his exact words. IIRC, it was 'she's the one'. Voila!

 

65 years. It happens/happened. Laugh. lol

 

fwiw, my husband and I agreed o get married a couple f days after we met. I'm not talking about "soul mates' , which I think is nonsense, but rather that there are times in your life when you just know something is right.

  • Like 1
Posted
I was one of those women who, when I was married, would thank my lucky stars I didn't have to go through the shenanigans my single and seeking friends had to go through. And that was even when I was miserable and married. Sometimes there is comfort in what you know even if it's not always the happiest or easiest.

 

Of course, fast forward several years and I ended my marriage because I began to realize that anything was better than living out everyday pretending to be something we weren't. At least I would be in control of my own life and my own happiness if I were on my own. And I am.

 

Having been divorced for 7+ years now, I can honestly say that, although it was exciting (and even frightening) in the beginning to get back into dating again, I really dislike it. If I didn't realize it before I certainly do now and that is I'm very much a relationship girl. That's not to say I'll settle down with just anyone just to avoid being alone, HELL to the NO! Being single isn't the part I dislike but rather the dog and pony show that gets played out over and over again with varied results.

 

It gets exhausting after a while.

 

Having said all of this, I do believe that it's often the married women who are less envious of their single friends than their husbands. The variety of sex and sexual partners alone would make most married men's dreams a very wet one.

My thoughts and feelings exactly on the marriage, coupledom, singleness and dating as a woman.

 

On the other hand, while it does make logical sense that married men would be more envious of the single men due to the variety of available sexual partners, I don't think all feel the same. Or at least they may feel envious of their sexually succesful single friends or acquaintances, but when they are single themselves, they may not like it as much as in their fantasies.

 

An argument for the envy being GIGS syndrome a lot of the time is that divorced men get remarried at a higher rate and faster than divorced women. If all of them enjoyed the supposed sexual variety so much, they wouldn't rush into marriage even more than women do. I do believe that some men (not all, but a large percentage) also get tired by what they have to go through to get that sexual variety and the entire game gets old after a while.

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Posted
fwiw, my husband and I agreed o get married a couple f days after we met. I'm not talking about "soul mates' , which I think is nonsense, but rather that there are times in your life when you just know something is right.

 

It took me and mine about 28 days. We old folks are sooooo slow.

Posted

Those who married too young or married the wrong person envy their single friends

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Posted
On the other hand, while it does make logical sense that married men would be more envious of the single men due to the variety of available sexual partners, I don't think all feel the same. Or at least they may feel envious of their sexually succesful single friends or acquaintances, but when they are single themselves, they may not like it as much as in their fantasies.

 

Correct, the awesome single life is just a fantasy for many…

 

Sidebar:

I remember this dude, friend of a friend and he just flat said that he did not like women and would not bother trying to “chase” women because he said it was a complete waste of time. He said he loved sex so his solution, he paid prostitutes. For over 30 years! Guys was in his mid 40’s at the time.

 

I was married at the time and was kinda taken aback, now I’m single his logic not seemingly so crazy today for a bunch of reasons.

 

I’m not advocating paying prostitutes but the thing about married men maybe being envious because of the “variety of sex partners” single dudes have… there is not that much available (GOOD) sex for single folks and people are having less sex these days.

 

Google this LA Times Article:

 

Millennials are having less sex than any generation in 60 years. Here’s why it matters.

 

Google “Millennials are having less sex” in general.

 

I’m older and while I like sex, I can take it or leave it for me has always been about true and more meaningful intimacy but fewer and fewer women are even capable of that, more and more people just go thru the motions I can just tell that so many are detached.

 

Look at this site MILLIONS of posts about so much grief and relationship issues, sometimes I think so many humans are just checking out of life and would rather remain at arm’s length from any “relationship partner”

 

On the sex thing… If you are married or single and are having good sex, meaningful or not… but good. You are lucky, yes I envy you married or not :laugh:

 

I'm very much a relationship girl. That's not to say I'll settle down with just anyone just to avoid being alone, HELL to the NO! Being single isn't the part I dislike but rather the dog and pony show that gets played out over and over again with varied results.

 

Exactly OLD meeting in general has become an ongoing freak show. I’m just worn down.

 

I will admit, I'm dating someone who is nice, decent company but is someone I would not have even considered dating some time ago, she is attractive, nice, funny decent lady and while I have said as many here say all the time “never settle” as I sit here typing this out OLD has grinded me down, so I am trying as hard as I possibly can to be less judgmental, patient, tolerant of some things about this person so I can avoid having to go back on OLD and go thru the torcher. She is really into me and that helps LOL! ;)

Posted
It took me and mine about 28 days. We old folks are sooooo slow.

:laugh:

not sure how old you are, but I might be older than you...we've been married more than 19 year now..

 

now I feel even older...going to go listen to "oldster" music to cheer myself up...:D

Posted

I don't know many people who would actually prefer to be single. The singles I know are actively dating to try to find someone to marry or be in a long term relationship with.

 

If you are married and envy your single friends, I doubt your marriage will last long.

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Posted
Married people would not want to get back to single-hood because it's too much effort. They'd have to get off their big behind and shed those extra pounds, they'd have to find something interesting to talk about, they'd have to take risks of being rejected, they've have to fall and back up several times...and that is just too much for them after years sitting on the couch watching tv in their track suits.

 

When I was single I had too much fun to have a boring moment.

 

Now I love being in a relationship with my BF but there are times I get home at 18h and miss the days I didn't have to cook dinner and could just run off without explaining my whereabouts. I also miss my friends and our daily contacts now that we're all busy playing house.

 

This is just wrong on all levels. I usually love your post, but this one is really offensive. There are healthy motivated and fit married people, you are just lumping everyone into one pile. Yikes!

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Posted
This is just wrong on all levels. I usually love your post, but this one is really offensive. There are healthy motivated and fit married people, you are just lumping everyone into one pile. Yikes!

 

I get what she's saying. I don't think it was meant to be offensive. It's the whole "fat and happy" saying. Not all married people fall into that category. It's just a humorous allegory used to prove a point.

 

All I know is... I want one of those track suits.

Posted

I am very happy that I am married, and no longer single.

 

No, its not because that gives me an excuse to get fat, and lazy – I am thinner than I was in high school, and exercise more than ever thank you very much! Nor does that mean that I do not cultivate my personality, or enjoy interesting conversations with other adults, because I engage in both quite regularly. At least as often as my single friends.

 

I feel as a child free couple, living in a dynamic urban area – we have the best of both worlds. I am married to my best friend, someone I can share my joys, triumphs and accomplishments, some who supports me, and I support them. Someone to be by my side as we face the world.

 

Sure, we “play house” – only all of the chores that one person would need to do, are now split among two – same goes for all of our bills. If neither feels like cooking dinner – we can declare it a “fend for yourself day”. We are also not expected to be joined at the hip 24 / 7 – we both have time consuming hobbies etc. We basically get together in the evenings for dinner – and on the weekends for “dates”!

 

A dual income, split responsibilities, and an often available “best friend” means that we can go out, socialize and entertain even more often than we could in our 20’s because we are more financially stable. My single friends express envy of the lifestyle our arrangement offers.

 

Prime example, last min decide to head out of town – I join in on his business trip and get to relax at the pool and spa, we spent our evenings fine dining, bar hoping, and dancing. Then back to the grind for a day before heading off to a concert.

 

Together we have tons of fun, and its very very far from the “ball and chain” scenario that is often painted. In many ways we are free as a single person, and our responsibilities are actually split among two, rather than amplified.

 

Sure, dating, flirting etc can be fun – but finding someone you really, truly deeply connect with – that is something I am glad I am no longer searching for.

Posted
I don't know many people who would actually prefer to be single. The singles I know are actively dating to try to find someone to marry or be in a long term relationship with.

 

If you are married and envy your single friends, I doubt your marriage will last long.

 

I know people that are married and happy. I know people that are married and unhappy. I know people that are single and happy. I know people that are single and desperately want to settle down.

 

Everyone is different, everyone has their own circumstances. It's impossible to generalise simply based on relationship status IMHO.

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