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is time the only cure?

ahmeds

By ahmeds
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ahmeds New Member

ahmeds

Posted
Posted

I have ready so many posts here and I feel I have a very typical, similar post to share. I really loved this girl but we had a breakup about 2.5 months back. It was a sudden break up I was not expecting this at all. There were absolutely no issues between us, there was only one issue that her parents weren't agreeing to our marriage and one fine day she just gave up. I'll just explain the rest in bullet points

  • I was sleeping just like a normal night, she calls me up. I was half asleep actually and told me that its over. Few hours back we talked to each other and everything was pretty normal
  • I did not realize that this has happened, I just thought something bad has happened at her house and we can discuss this the next morning
  • The next morning she totally stopped responding to my messages or calls
  • I tried for a few days but I did not receive a response at all
  • and after a few days she blocked me from every where. WhatsApp, facebook, all social media connections
  • Its been 2.5 months now. I have tried everything that I could possibly do. Made new friends, party, exercise, reading books, watching movies, even tried to get in another relationship but I just cant feel the same way for any other woman. but nothing is working out. she is on my mind all the time
  • I was always an emotionally weak person. May be this is the reason that when I love someone I love with all my heart
  • Even though the break up was unbearable I did not react rudely or aggressively. I tried to give respect to her decision.
  • After 2.5 months now she is telling all our mutual friends to remove me from facebook. I have not approached her in the last two months, I don't know what is making her to do this. She was always very mature
  • I went to the beach with a couple of friends. I was so lost that I stepped into the high tide areas. No this was not a suicide attempt, I was just lost mentally. I almost lost my life, life guards were not present. To cut it short, got a new life and it was a miracle

The point is that I am getting very unstable mentally, I was always a star employee but my performance at work has gone down so badly. As mentioned above I have tried everything that I could. I have no clue how to get out of this. life has become so difficult!

Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

Sorry that you're hurting.

 

You should see your doctor. There might me medication you could take to help you get through this bad patch.

 

Also consider seeing a counsellor.

 

Don't get involved with other women.

 

It won't help, and it's not fair to the woman concerned, if you get involved when you aren't over your last relationship.

 

 

Keep posting.

 

 

Take care.

  • Like 3
aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

Posted
Posted

Agree that you need to speak to a doctor and a therapist to help guide you back to feeling good. It's normal to grieve and feel hurt after a R/S ends, especially suddenly.

 

Be patient in your healing. No one heals and feels back to normally quickly. Don't isolate yourself either. Be out w/others in social situations if you can. Laugh, have fun and recognize this is just a bump in the road of life. We've all been where you are and navigated through it while coming out the other side happy.

 

So you know, my last ex ripped my heart out. I couldn't eat, sleep or function for a month. I went NC. I then started to feel better. I could sleep and eat again. I started working out again and felt even better. I then casually dated for a few months just to get out w/the opposite sex. All these things helped me get back to normal.

 

Fast forward 3.5 years. I'm now engaged after 3 years w/a wonderful gal. I look back at the nightmare of my ex and am SSOO grateful I'm not dealing w/her anymore. You'll feel the same.

  • Like 2
Joebloggs91 Member

Joebloggs91

Posted
Posted

Hi ahmeds,

 

Thanks for sharing your story. Here's my take on your situation and it is only my opinion, taken from my experiences.

 

I'm sorry for your loss, being dumped out of the blue is a killer. You're unprepared for it and it hits you like a bus. But I must say you've done remarkably well to try and move on, that's probably the hardest part. It's very easy to stay in bed for months feeling sorry for yourself but the fact that you've managed to find the energy to get out and do stuff is a testiment to your mental strength so good work.

 

It is clear that she is moving on and whilst it's eating away at you now at how cold she is being, it will certainly help you long term. My ex cut ties with me over text and never spoke to me again. That was after speaking all day every day. It hurt but I'm grateful for it now because it gave me a chance to heal.

 

Satu is right, get yourself some help. There are plenty of services out there that can help. I went to see my Dr today and I've been prescribed some tablets to help me through this bumpy patch. I recommend you do the same.

 

You're showing signs that you're moving on and have a bit of a relapse, which is normal. Some days you'll wake up and feel great, others you'll feel awful and want to hide from everyone and everything.

 

Just make sure you stay no contact - keep it up and keep posting.

  • Like 2
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Time won't always cure you unless you also use self-discipline and make yourself stop thinking about the past and also schedule your future out ahead of you.

  • Like 2
smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

Posted
Posted

Yes, time is the only cure, but that healing doesn't start when they leave; it begins the moment you let them go. By that I mean going full no contact - no social media and if you have mutual friends, just tell them you don't want to know about her. From there, the time could be anything. For me, I'm on 6 months and very rarely now I get the odd memory that makes me think of her... it sucks... but I just carry on. That's all you can do really. No one person is worth giving up everything for.

  • Like 2
Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted
Yes, time is the only cure, but that healing doesn't start when they leave; it begins the moment you let them go. By that I mean going full no contact - no social media and if you have mutual friends, just tell them you don't want to know about her. From there, the time could be anything. For me, I'm on 6 months and very rarely now I get the odd memory that makes me think of her... it sucks... but I just carry on. That's all you can do really. *No one person is worth giving up everything for.

 

So true.

 

I just got to the point where I decided, "F*** this, I've suffered enough."

 

That was when I really started to recover.

gracey123 Established Member

gracey123

Posted
Posted
I have ready so many posts here and I feel I have a very typical, similar post to share. I really loved this girl but we had a breakup about 2.5 months back. It was a sudden break up I was not expecting this at all. There were absolutely no issues between us, there was only one issue that her parents weren't agreeing to our marriage and one fine day she just gave up. I'll just explain the rest in bullet points

  • I was sleeping just like a normal night, she calls me up. I was half asleep actually and told me that its over. Few hours back we talked to each other and everything was pretty normal
  • I did not realize that this has happened, I just thought something bad has happened at her house and we can discuss this the next morning
  • The next morning she totally stopped responding to my messages or calls
  • I tried for a few days but I did not receive a response at all
  • and after a few days she blocked me from every where. WhatsApp, facebook, all social media connections
  • Its been 2.5 months now. I have tried everything that I could possibly do. Made new friends, party, exercise, reading books, watching movies, even tried to get in another relationship but I just cant feel the same way for any other woman. but nothing is working out. she is on my mind all the time
  • I was always an emotionally weak person. May be this is the reason that when I love someone I love with all my heart
  • Even though the break up was unbearable I did not react rudely or aggressively. I tried to give respect to her decision.
  • After 2.5 months now she is telling all our mutual friends to remove me from facebook. I have not approached her in the last two months, I don't know what is making her to do this. She was always very mature
  • I went to the beach with a couple of friends. I was so lost that I stepped into the high tide areas. No this was not a suicide attempt, I was just lost mentally. I almost lost my life, life guards were not present. To cut it short, got a new life and it was a miracle

The point is that I am getting very unstable mentally, I was always a star employee but my performance at work has gone down so badly. As mentioned above I have tried everything that I could. I have no clue how to get out of this. life has become so difficult!

 

 

I'm so sorry that you are hurting so badly. It must be so horrific.

 

 

Please speak to someone, perhaps a counsellor, about this.

What she did was cruel and completely unnecessary. Time isn't the only healer, but it sure works easier than anything else. You must focus on your job and social life, enjoy going to the beach without thinking of her, enjoy tasting new foods and drinks. Life is so precious, it isn't worth worrying about someone who didn't even have the decency to tell you it's over properly.

 

It is her loss, stay strong and remember you're worth more than such hurt.

  • Like 1
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