Author Louisesarah Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Well if this is the case you were basically being charitable and shouldn't expect anything in return except a thank you. Just leave that crowd alone and don't get involved with them. Make new friends. Has your new bf introduced you to any new people? I didn't expect anything in return but if someone was kind to you ..you wouldn't then walk past them in the street like a stranger would you? I mean I wouldn't do that. It kind of shows him to be not a decent person I think. Yeah he has but it's still early days so most of our time is spent together not socialising with others.
stillafool Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Are you saying you spoke to him and he didn't speak back?
stillafool Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 It kind of shows him to be not a decent person I think. Yeah he has but it's still early days so most of our time is spent together not socialising with others. Good you feel that way about him so it isn't a big loss to you, is it? Tell your bf you would like to meet his friends and perhaps you two will get together with them. Do you have a large family and has your bf met them and you his family? Are they nice people?
stillafool Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 One good thing is I have much more money now she isn't my friend. No more paying for everything and buying her clothes. Surprising how much I used to waste. I deffo will enjoy him ..thankyou :-) Stop trying to buy friendship. It is destined to fail every time. Do you want people to hang out with you because they enjoy your company or the gifts you might buy them?
Author Louisesarah Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Are you saying you spoke to him and he didn't speak back? I smiled at him and he looked at the ground
Author Louisesarah Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Good you feel that way about him so it isn't a big loss to you, is it? Tell your bf you would like to meet his friends and perhaps you two will get together with them. Do you have a large family and has your bf met them and you his family? Are they nice people? I don't really have any family except my dad. Probably one of the reasons I feel lonely I've met he's sister that's it so far ..she seems nice.
Author Louisesarah Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Stop trying to buy friendship. It is destined to fail every time. Do you want people to hang out with you because they enjoy your company or the gifts you might buy them? It wasn't that I bought her presents ..more so if we were in a shop and I was buying something she would pick up something and ask me to buy her it ..and I'm stupid and never could say no Even tho I knew she was taking advantage
stillafool Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 It sounds like she was using you. You should have told her no.
whichwayisup Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Sorry I meant the guy is more her friend than mine Then that's why. Accept it and move on. Focus on your other friends, not the mutual friends. Obviously the mutual friends are more loyal to her than to you, so good riddance. Even though you 'gave' this guy household items, you can't and shouldn't expect anything back. At the time I'm sure he appreciated it and said thanks, right? You can't hope that just because you helped him out that way that he owes you and means he'll choose you over her in the friendship.
Author Louisesarah Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 It just seems crazy and very playground "she's not my friend so you can't be her friend either" it's so immature. This guy wouldn't harm a fly ..so I know it's her. She must have some hatred for me
Jersey born raised Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 It appears OM family as a whole are very practiced at manipulating people both each individually and as a pack. It strikes me almost mini-cultish. Count your blessing that you are out and back into the real world. You should spend time in developing new habits of mixing with people and why you went down the path you did. 1
Author Louisesarah Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 No you didn't. Someone who gives out of the goodness of their heart never stops to think of what happened to those items after giving them. You gave with expectations. You need professional help to get past all these resentments you have. Oh come on ..resentments? I resent people who treat me like rubbish yes The last year that family have single handily caused me nothing but grief. From my friend blabbing to her mother to her and her mother blabbing to the brother and causing massive drama just in fear he may speak to me. Then the sister making sure anyone who she knows wether its aunts/cousins /friends don't speak to me by telling a pack of lies about me. Not the truth about her darling brother tho ..oh no just bull about me. So if that makes me resentful and bitter then I am. The whole lot of them love everyone to be miserable to make themselves feel better.
imperfectangel Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 They're a family. Of course they will band together. They're FAMILY. Move on. This isn't healthy
Author Louisesarah Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 They're a family. Of course they will band together. They're FAMILY. Move on. This isn't healthy Band together for what exactly? I haven't done anything She just wants to turn everyone against me They even have strangers off the internet oblivious to their actions
Author Louisesarah Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 Her aim was to make sure me and him never had any contact ever again. In whatever lengths they had to go to .. I know exactly what they are like. What they are capable of. She told everyone her boyfriend wrapped his hands around her neck and tried to choke her ..turns out it was her or done it to him
imperfectangel Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Omg. You need help. They will band together because they're family. They're just supporting each other. In most cases (I appreciate some families aren't close) family is for life and friends/bf's/gfs come and go. You need to get over all this
Author Louisesarah Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 Supporting each other through what? They are the ones causing drama
anika99 Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Oh come on ..resentments? I resent people who treat me like rubbish yes The last year that family have single handily caused me nothing but grief. From my friend blabbing to her mother to her and her mother blabbing to the brother and causing massive drama just in fear he may speak to me. Then the sister making sure anyone who she knows wether its aunts/cousins /friends don't speak to me by telling a pack of lies about me. Not the truth about her darling brother tho ..oh no just bull about me. So if that makes me resentful and bitter then I am. The whole lot of them love everyone to be miserable to make themselves feel better. The whole affair you had with her brother was dysfunctional and caused everyone in that family grief, not just you. Furthermore you were as much a participant in the drama as anyone else, actually you were one of the main players. When affairs blow up, family and friends choose sides. That just goes with the territory and it's the risk you accepted when you got involved with her brother. This is the consequence of your choice. Affairs hurt lots of people, not just you. If I made the choice to mess around with my best friends brother, especially if that brother had a newborn baby and was cheating on his gf, then I would make that choice knowing full well that I was risking my relationship with my best friend as well as her family and mutual friends. That's a no brainer. You made the choice and this is the fallout. Forget these people and go make a life for yourself. 5
Author Louisesarah Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 I just hate how things turned out. Nothing was stopping us all just brushing it under the carpet. Saying it shouldn't of happened and all went back to just being friends. They've made things more awkward.
stillafool Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 I just hate how things turned out. Nothing was stopping us all just brushing it under the carpet. Saying it shouldn't of happened and all went back to just being friends. They've made things more awkward. THEY DON'T WANT YOU!!!!! The sooner you realize this the better off you'll be and perhaps stop obsessing over that family and their friends. They just don't want you. Why don't you come here and talk about the lovely time you are having with your new bf instead of continuously talking about people who have well forgotten you? Forget them too. Aren't you exhausted yet? They haven't made things more awkward, they don't plan to see you. 2
Author Louisesarah Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 THEY DON'T WANT YOU!!!!! The sooner you realize this the better off you'll be and perhaps stop obsessing over that family and their friends. They just don't want you. Why don't you come here and talk about the lovely time you are having with your new bf instead of continuously talking about people who have well forgotten you? Forget them too. Aren't you exhausted yet? They haven't made things more awkward, they don't plan to see you. Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me?
Birdies Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 (edited) Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me? So you were the other woman involved with her brother? She doesn't want to be friends anymore because she disapproves of what you did. Your mutual friends agree. I'm in a similar position with a lot of friends (of 15+ years), after my husband and I split up after my affair came to light. Yeah it sucks and I miss them and I wish our friendship could survive this, but I recognize that this is one of many consequences of making poor decisions that hurt people. People are allowed to choose sides and write off their former friends. That is what has happened with you. You should maybe see a therapist to help you work through these feelings. Edited September 16, 2016 by Birdies 4
stillafool Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me? Why do you think? You can answer this better than me. You know they don't want you around their family and friends because they've shown you this over and over again. They have moved on with their family life and probably don't think about you anymore. You have to reach that place with them. You are still thinking about them when you should be thinking about new plans with your new bf.
stillafool Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me? Because she has moved on with a new sister in law and baby which are now her family. They don't want drama in their family. Your ex friend knows you are still hung up on her brother and it's best to keep you away from their family. I can understand this because when one of my brothers married his wife; his ex gf; a previous friend of mine, couldn't get over him and I cut her lose to preserve my family. I didn't want her upsetting my new sister in law because SIL is now my family.
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