Winning girls over who play hard to get? Need tips!

[zivo]

To start off I want to say I'm a very picky guy, and for good reason too. I am successful, work out, mid twenties and have been told I'm good looking by plenty of girls. However there is this one girl in particular that is playing extremely hard to get, and I ended up liking her the most. Not necessarily for that reason, she just has all the physical features that I really like and great personality too, from what I know so far...

 

The story: Anyways I met her off tinder, took her 2 weeks to respond to that. Got her instagram and checked out some more of her pics and then messaged her on there. Took another few days to get her actual number. Then when I got her number I would get a text sometimes quickly, and some other times a few hours later, if not never. I have to constantly initiate the texting the next day as well.

 

For the record she did on her tinder profile state "i may play hard to get but I am worth it" so i am assuming thats what she is doing.. and not just not interested in me at all. Since she does still continue to talk to me. After 2 weeks of texting very sporadically we ended up going out, although she was with friends and already kinda drunk when we met, we danced at a club / made out and I was later invited to her house. We both were drunk and slept together, no sex, but we did make out and everything was fine.

 

Now the next few days I would say things such as I miss kissing you, I would say some flirty things, but nothing back in return. I would just be forced to talk about basic things such as school, events, etc or else she would just not reply back...

 

What should I do at this point, I feel like I am stuck here. If i am overly aggressive and send her flowers or something she may get turned off or think she can do whatever she wants... but I also dont want to continue not flirting with her at all and just talk about basic things. I am usually great with girls, but this one has me confused and not know what to do as I dont want to mess things up....

 

So maybe if there are any girls here... and you play hard to get, what is something that are some dos and don'ts in this situation?

[Nicole10]

To start off I want to say I'm a very picky guy, and for good reason too. I am successful, work out, mid twenties and have been told I'm good looking by plenty of girls. However there is this one girl in particular that is playing extremely hard to get, and I ended up liking her the most. Not necessarily for that reason, she just has all the physical features that I really like and great personality too, from what I know so far...

 

The story: Anyways I met her off tinder, took her 2 weeks to respond to that. Got her instagram and checked out some more of her pics and then messaged her on there. Took another few days to get her actual number. Then when I got her number I would get a text sometimes quickly, and some other times a few hours later, if not never. I have to constantly initiate the texting the next day as well.

 

For the record she did on her tinder profile state "i may play hard to get but I am worth it" so i am assuming thats what she is doing.. and not just not interested in me at all. Since she does still continue to talk to me. After 2 weeks of texting very sporadically we ended up going out, although she was with friends and already kinda drunk when we met, we danced at a club / made out and I was later invited to her house. We both were drunk and slept together, no sex, but we did make out and everything was fine.

 

Now the next few days I would say things such as I miss kissing you, I would say some flirty things, but nothing back in return. I would just be forced to talk about basic things such as school, events, etc or else she would just not reply back...

 

What should I do at this point, I feel like I am stuck here. If i am overly aggressive and send her flowers or something she may get turned off or think she can do whatever she wants... but I also dont want to continue not flirting with her at all and just talk about basic things. I am usually great with girls, but this one has me confused and not know what to do as I dont want to mess things up....

 

So maybe if there are any girls here... and you play hard to get, what is something that are some dos and don'ts in this situation?

 

Why dont you kust ask her out, instead of texting and flirting with her. If she says she is busy, you can try again and if she rejects you again, she is not interested.

[h0000]

why do you want a girl who likes to play games? To strike your ego? Or you have too much time to waste?

[JewelD]

Only little girls do that. Especially since she wrote that she's hard to get on her profile. Really?

 

My guess is that she's really not much of a catch and the cat and mouse game is a tactic to make a guy think she's more appealing than she actually is.

 

But if you're into that, just pester her since she apparently likes a lot of attention. I imagine a few weeks (or days) of that and you'll get the panty drawers. Just seems that girls who are that honest about playing the hard to get game already wanna give it up but want the guy to do a little work first so they feel better about doing it.

[Redhead14]

To start off I want to say I'm a very picky guy, and for good reason too. I am successful, work out, mid twenties and have been told I'm good looking by plenty of girls. However there is this one girl in particular that is playing extremely hard to get, and I ended up liking her the most. Not necessarily for that reason, she just has all the physical features that I really like and great personality too, from what I know so far...

 

The story: Anyways I met her off tinder, took her 2 weeks to respond to that. Got her instagram and checked out some more of her pics and then messaged her on there. Took another few days to get her actual number. Then when I got her number I would get a text sometimes quickly, and some other times a few hours later, if not never. I have to constantly initiate the texting the next day as well.

 

For the record she did on her tinder profile state "i may play hard to get but I am worth it" so i am assuming thats what she is doing.. and not just not interested in me at all. Since she does still continue to talk to me. After 2 weeks of texting very sporadically we ended up going out, although she was with friends and already kinda drunk when we met, we danced at a club / made out and I was later invited to her house. We both were drunk and slept together, no sex, but we did make out and everything was fine.

 

Now the next few days I would say things such as I miss kissing you, I would say some flirty things, but nothing back in return. I would just be forced to talk about basic things such as school, events, etc or else she would just not reply back...

 

What should I do at this point, I feel like I am stuck here. If i am overly aggressive and send her flowers or something she may get turned off or think she can do whatever she wants... but I also dont want to continue not flirting with her at all and just talk about basic things. I am usually great with girls, but this one has me confused and not know what to do as I dont want to mess things up....

 

So maybe if there are any girls here... and you play hard to get, what is something that are some dos and don'ts in this situation?

 

If all you want is to get laid, stop contacting her. She'll wonder where you went and come to you.

 

But, if you want a relationship for yourself . . . let her go. If you go after a woman who "plays hard to get", you'll get a woman who is hard to live with . . . it's bull****. I'm a woman, I think her attitude sucks. She likes the attention, thrill of being chased. When you get thru all her **** tests, she will use you 'til ya drop.

[leogirl876]

Girls don't play hard to get if they're into the guy! IMO, she's not playing hard to get, she's not that into you!

[jen1447]

So maybe if there are any girls here... and you play hard to get, what is something that are some dos and don'ts in this situation?

 

Don't do all the things you did - texting her w no reply and still texting her more anyway, kissing her ass, being clingy and mushy, etc. She won't respect any of that but she'll think she's awesome for reducing you to mush that way.

 

This is just a string game if you really want to know. She prob has no intentions for you but if it's convenient she'll do the exact opposite of what you expect just to do your head in, like suddenly pop up if you seem to give up, blow you off after tossing you a bone, etc. It's a loser for you but if you really want to get in her pants your best bet is to just act like an a-hole. Women in her headspace seem to find that compelling quite a bit.

[Versacehottie]

Only little girls do that. Especially since she wrote that she's hard to get on her profile. Really?

 

My guess is that she's really not much of a catch and the cat and mouse game is a tactic to make a guy think she's more appealing than she actually is.

 

But if you're into that, just pester her since she apparently likes a lot of attention. I imagine a few weeks (or days) of that and you'll get the panty drawers. Just seems that girls who are that honest about playing the hard to get game already wanna give it up but want the guy to do a little work first so they feel better about doing it.

 

Agreed. I think your best strategy to get THIS faux hard-to-get girl is to play her game. If you back off, she will be baffled and may come chasing you. In other words, you play hard to get. Clearly she likes the attention. And the "hard-to-get" thing sounds like a strategy and pure game playing. I mean who puts that in a tinder profile. It's just like, pfffft.... Joking, c-mon. Not to mention miss hard to get spent the first night she ever hung out with you sleeping over. It's all relative. That's not THAT hard. Needless to say it sounds like it's all games (if it was true hard to get i'd advise something different)--in this case, play her same game. Good luck

[zivo]

Thanks for all the comments guys and girls! Really didnt expect this much attention

 

I do want to reply and add a few more details to the story

 

- I did look into her background / social media history and she did have a boyfriend that she was really obsessed with, but hes an ex now so this could possibly why she is playing so hard (hurt feelings, no trust in guys, etc)

 

- Lots of her social media posts are about being independent, overcoming obstacles etc so i get a strong vibe that she is slightly depressed and still not over her ex completely

 

 

So from this conclusion I dont want to immediately be hurt by her no flirty / emotional responses and assume shes playing games since she could legitametly not trust guys or still be hurting over her ex. So if this is her real reason for playing hard to get, then I think its somewhat justified and I dont really blame her. If that is the case, whats the best way to approach a woman like this? I obviously want to show her that i can be much more and better than her ex, but its hard if she isnt allowing it. I personally dont mind at all being nice to her and mushy as some say, if she ends up playing me then so be it. The only thing I want to avoid is her playing hard to get with me because she is not interested or she being easy with other guys / going out with others...

[Versacehottie]

if the real reason she is playing hard to get is that she is hung up on some guy, there will not be much you can do to make it "through" to her. I think the mushy stuff is completely the wrong way in with her--in either scenario.

 

BTW, just a note that the "independent" quotes and things of that nature on social media, much like the declaration of "hard-to-get" are ALL are front. Safe to say they are all her trying to pump herself up to "be" those things. In fact, she is exactly the opposite. She is going through something. That's why you are getting flakey behavior which will likely continue. Test her real interest by backing off. If she likes you, she won't let that happen so much.

[JewelD]

Thanks for all the comments guys and girls! Really didnt expect this much attention

 

I do want to reply and add a few more details to the story

 

- I did look into her background / social media history and she did have a boyfriend that she was really obsessed with, but hes an ex now so this could possibly why she is playing so hard (hurt feelings, no trust in guys, etc)

 

- Lots of her social media posts are about being independent, overcoming obstacles etc so i get a strong vibe that she is slightly depressed and still not over her ex completely

 

 

So from this conclusion I dont want to immediately be hurt by her no flirty / emotional responses and assume shes playing games since she could legitametly not trust guys or still be hurting over her ex. So if this is her real reason for playing hard to get, then I think its somewhat justified and I dont really blame her. If that is the case, whats the best way to approach a woman like this? I obviously want to show her that i can be much more and better than her ex, but its hard if she isnt allowing it. I personally dont mind at all being nice to her and mushy as some say, if she ends up playing me then so be it. The only thing I want to avoid is her playing hard to get with me because she is not interested or she being easy with other guys / going out with others...

 

Stop making excuses for her. If she doesn't trust men and yet still chooses to date them, she is definitely playing games. Someone who is truly hurt by a past relationship doesn't get on Tinder so they can play hard to get. How are the two even related? She puts herself out there to attract men just so she can act like she doesn't want them?

 

You knowshe's easy. You were in her bed, drunk, the first night. You really think you're the first guy she's allowed to do that? She's also got horrible judgment to get intoxicated with a stranger and let him in her home.

 

Somebody who legit likes you and isn't a nutcase will not play any games with you. This girl is just having a fun time with you, nothing more.

[stillafool]

T

 

The only thing I want to avoid is her playing hard to get with me because she is not interested or she being easy with other guys / going out with others...

 

Then let her go. Why chase after someone who actually likes to play hard to get? What's so special about this girl? Find one who wants you if you like sex.

[Miss Peach]

FWIW I probably come off to a lot of guys as hard to get. I want to man to pursue me. I respond and am straight with men but I don't go out of my way to text/call them and stuff like that.

 

For me when I see a guy text like that I just assume he's keeping me on the bench. If I want to go out with a man and he asks me out then I say yes or suggest a better date/time. If he does it too long I assume he's not really that interesting or juggling too many girls. Did you actually ask her out during any of those follow ups? There are many guys out there who can go on like that forever without asking out. She may not be responding because you may be taking too long. If you ask her and get nothing or something wishy washy then I would say let her go and stop wasting your time.

Edited August 30, 2016 by Miss Peach

[preraph]

I can't believe a grown woman would let everyone know she's playing hard to get. However, I think the best answer to people who aren't playing games is to start dating other people and get on with your life. If that doesn't get their attention, nothing is going to. And meanwhile, you're not wasting time on them.

[jen1447]

FWIW I probably come off to a lot of guys as hard to get. I want to man to pursue me. I respond and am straight with men but I don't go out of my way to text/call them and stuff like that.

 

Usually there's some c**k tease in playing hard to get, so you'd just seem moreso sweet yet maybe aloof (to me). That's actually a harder nut to crack than playing hard to get.

[GemmaUK]

OP. she isn't playing hard to get here, she is not replying.

 

You're sounding clingy in texts and when texts go clingy so soon it's a total turn off when you're not interested enough to play it by ear and hope it calms down if the dating relationship grows.

I'm past the too clingy text stage and I do the same as she is doing - no reply.

[BaileyB]

Girls who are immature play games.

 

If a girl really likes you, she will not play games and she will not be hard to get. She may flirt and let you take the lead - but, she will communicate with you and you will have no doubt of her interest.

[phineas]

To start off I want to say I'm a very picky guy, and for good reason too. I am successful, work out, mid twenties and have been told I'm good looking by plenty of girls. However there is this one girl in particular that is playing extremely hard to get, and I ended up liking her the most. Not necessarily for that reason, she just has all the physical features that I really like and great personality too, from what I know so far...

 

The story: Anyways I met her off tinder, took her 2 weeks to respond to that. Got her instagram and checked out some more of her pics and then messaged her on there. Took another few days to get her actual number. Then when I got her number I would get a text sometimes quickly, and some other times a few hours later, if not never. I have to constantly initiate the texting the next day as well.

 

For the record she did on her tinder profile state "i may play hard to get but I am worth it" so i am assuming thats what she is doing.. and not just not interested in me at all. Since she does still continue to talk to me. After 2 weeks of texting very sporadically we ended up going out, although she was with friends and already kinda drunk when we met, we danced at a club / made out and I was later invited to her house. We both were drunk and slept together, no sex, but we did make out and everything was fine.

 

Now the next few days I would say things such as I miss kissing you, I would say some flirty things, but nothing back in return. I would just be forced to talk about basic things such as school, events, etc or else she would just not reply back...

 

What should I do at this point, I feel like I am stuck here. If i am overly aggressive and send her flowers or something she may get turned off or think she can do whatever she wants... but I also dont want to continue not flirting with her at all and just talk about basic things. I am usually great with girls, but this one has me confused and not know what to do as I dont want to mess things up....

 

So maybe if there are any girls here... and you play hard to get, what is something that are some dos and don'ts in this situation?

 

You treat her like every other chick.

You ask her out then forget about her when she doesn't comply.

 

Ask her for a specific date and time.

She doesn't say "yes" it's a "no" and you move on.

 

Don't waste your time chasing a chick it gets you nowhere.

 

Women who are afraid to lose a guy don't play hard to get.

So walk away & show her she is going to lose you.

If she comes a running she is into you.

If not, she is just wasting your time.

 

Also, telling her you miss kissing her?

So cringe worthy.

You basically told her she owns you.

Women are not turned on by that.

[zivo]

Just to update the story on this, it turned out she was talking to another guy at the same time as me. Essentially playing both sides, and in the end I never got another date. She ended up telling me that her and this other guy decided to be "exclusive" now apparently. She wasn't playing hard to get, she simply had an emotional investment / crutch already with the other guy.

 

I ended up deleting her from my social media and moving on.