Still calling me???

[Xo04]


I'm 24 years old and been a pretty casual dater my whole life but at the beginning of June I met a guy and we clicked immediately. Within 2 weeks I had completely fallen for him and on June 30th he told me he was in love with me. Later that day something bad happened and he almost lost his life. His mom called me, I rushed to the hospital and for the next 3 weeks my whole world became work and the hospital. His mom would call me, his sisters would call me. I became really close to a lot of his family when all this happened. His mom really liked me, she'd tell me i made her son so happy and when he would wake up and I wasn't there he'd ask for me over and over. She loved me cause her son loved me. And I knew I loved him too. He came home, things stayed really good, he was having a quick recovery and by the end of July/beginning of August he was almost as good as new. He was able to go out again, he was seeing his friends but once I got off work or had my days off his time was all mine. But it started to fade. The all day texting stopped, the sweet phone calls through out the day stopped, a few times he'd tell me he was waiting for his cousin to give him a ride to my house and he'd never come. As things became more inconsistent the more insecure I became. I told myself he's getting better, he just wants to go out. But then my crazy said if he misses 1 phone call why not call 3 more times? I started to act so out of character.. Blowing up his phone, crying, begging to know if it was another girl, why was he doing this? For a little bit he was just as crazy as me, we'd get together, I'd threaten to leave and he'd make me stay. We'd argue about nothing but 10 minutes later he'd tell me he loved me. Our relationship was not what It was anymore but it's like neither of us wanted the other to leave.

 

Last week he finally had enough. He promised me 3 times he was coming to my House when I got off work and he never showed. I lost it. I couldn't take it anymore. We were both at fault but he broke up with me. He told me to never call him again. So I didn't. I cried for 3 days straight and on the end of the 3rd day, he called. He told me he missed me, he asked if I had seen anyone else, what have I been doing, etc. He called back a few hours later to ask what I was doing tomorrow, if we could see each other. He didn't call the next day and I didn't either. After the day he didn't call, he called again and I cried I said this is so hard you either want me or you need to let me move on, he told me he wasn't sure what to say and hung up. He called back to tell me he still loves me. The next day he called me over and over. We were just talking and laughing it was like nothing changed. He told me he missed me so much. I felt so good. The next day he called me at 2 to ask to come over later, I had plans with my best friend so I told him I'd call him when I got home. I called him around 9. He told me never mind, he's busy now, he had been waiting for me and if he decides to come he knows where I live. I haven't heard from him since.

 

My friends have told me some of their opinions but everyone just seems confused. I haven't reached out to him since we broke up but he just keeps calling and I'm not ready to not answer. And now that it's been 3 days I'm actually scared he isn't going to call again.

 

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for.. I just don't understand why he's doing this??? He's not getting anything from me not sex, money, a place to stay he's just calling me and getting my hopes up and for what?

 

Anything would help..






[Grapefruit6]

Feels like he doesn't want a long term relationship with you but is unable to be alone or tolerate the necessary grieving process of a break up. So when he feels sad or misses you he reach out to you. When those sad feelings pass he remembers why he doesn't want a serious relationship now. Hence you get the hot and cold treatment. It's one of the worse situations because you can't get what you need which is a relationship yet you are unable to move on either.

 

I have been on both sides of this scenario and it is very unhealthy.

[aloneinaz]

All kinds of reds flags are SCREAMING at you and you have to know this. There's WAY too much drama for such a short time of dating. Usually the first 6 months are the BEST times of a relationship and are drama free.

 

As a guy, I can tell you by his ACTIONS that he was fading on you. He lost interest and started to ghost you. Now, you're just someone to string along to stroke his ego until he finds someone else. I'm not trying to be harsh, I promise.

 

When I met someone new and starting dating them and LOVED them, the last thing I'd do is what this guy did. Guys and gals are on their best behavior for the first 6+ months!

 

My advice? Cut contact and find someone who's into you. This guy wasn't. It happens as that's what the dating process is about. You try someone on for a while and if you're not feeling it, you move on.

 

Stop returning his calls and stroking his ego. Do you really want to continue with a flake like this guy who only brings this kind of BS into your life? Most folks wouldn't and you shouldn't either.