elias Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I am not even sure where to begin. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years. We have had our share of ups and downs to say the least. Things have been going good for the last month or so and then last weekend we got into a big argument. And now again this past weekend another argument and now I'm not sure if this is going to work out or not. We have our own places and see each other usually once during the week and then on weekends. Basically last weekend, she came over and wanted to go get some food. I told her I had a couple things to do outside and that we would go after that. It took me around an hour to do these things and when I came back inside she was sleeping on my couch. She looked so peaceful and I knew she was up early that day for work so I let her sleep for a bit. In the meantime, I started playing a game. She woke up and saw me playing the game and was really upset for me not waking her up. I figured she could use a bit more sleep as she looked so peaceful. Was I wrong in doing this? She was upset because I wasn't taking into account her feelings as she doesn't like to eat too late and that we had talked about this before. We eventually got things straightened out or so it seemed. Then this past weekend we got into another big argument. We had plans to visit some friends. Things got delayed as she was waiting for a friend to drop something off. I guess I didn't listen as she had told me this the previous day, so I was frustrated that we had to wait around. Her friend didn't show up at the time they said and wanted to meet us instead of coming to my gf's place, but then we would have to drive out of our way. I was even more frustrated and said something not so nice out of frustration. But if she had let me grumble for a few mins then I would have been OK to go meet them. But she got really upset instead and then there was a big argument. I ended up going alone. I didn't call her that night, but she ended up calling me later on. She was upset because I didn't call. We have talked about this in the past where she would like a call when she is upset. I don't know why I didn't call really, I just felt I needed some time I guess. I am not sure what to do about all of this. I find that I don't have an outlet to talk about these things other than her and she is the same way. I think we should talk about these things with other people before talking to each other. Perhaps a counsellor wouldn't be a bad idea, but I don't think she would go for that as I have mentioned that in the past briefly, but she was opposed to the idea. I had been single for almost 5 years before this relationship and am not sure if going back to single isn't such a bad idea. Then I wouldn't have to worry about all of this anymore. I feel like whenever I want to do things with my friends that I have to ask permission. It isn't the case, but sometimes I feel that it is. I think this relationship is adding a great deal of stress to my life. I am very easy going so a lot of things just slide right off my back. She is the opposite and things that slide off my back stay on hers and pile up. Then what seems like nothing to me makes her very upset and we end up getting in an argument. But lately with these arguments, I am starting to get very frustrated as I feel like no matter what I do it's not good enough for her. Why do relationships have to be so difficult?
Zaira Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 It sounds like your girl is used to having things her own way, and won't compromise on anything. From what you have said, you haven't done anything wrong at all (except trying too hard to constantly please!). You have to remember, you can't please everyone all of the time though, and sometimes small arguments are what keeps a relationship alive and kicking! If it continues though, you really have to ask yourself if you want to put up with it. Maybe discussing your feelings/issues with her may help.
Kat Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by ~Zaira~ and sometimes small arguments are what keeps a relationship alive and kicking! And that isn't healthy
Zaira Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by Kat And that isn't healthy Why not? Better than agreeing on everything and being boring. At least it shows some individuality Not only that, but the making up is great too.
Kat Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by ~Zaira~ Why not? Better than agreeing on everything and being boring. At least it shows some individuality Not only that, but the making up is great too. If you don't know how to disagree with someone without turning it into an arguement then I would be looking at fixing yourself up before entering a relationship. Why do you have to push someone away or even worse hurt someone else to show individuality? And not only that, but make up sex is not the best sex and if it is I suggest, looking at what you think a relationship is for.
Zaira Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by Kat If you don't know how to disagree with someone without turning it into an arguement then I would be looking at fixing yourself up before entering a relationship. Why do you have to push someone away or even worse hurt someone else to show individuality? And not only that, but make up sex is not the best sex and if it is I suggest, looking at what you think a relationship is for. Settle petal. Think you've read into what I have said a little too much there. Small arguments, disagreements = same thing to me. It all depends on what you are actually arguing about.
phidelt127 Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I honestly think that it's all part of the ups and downs of a relationship. It wasn't like you were arguing because you were out all night and didn't call or flirting with some other girl. All those are unhealthy things. The stuff you were talking about seems like normal banter. I don't want to minimize your problem, but I don't really think you have a really big problem and I'm sure that in the long run, you'll have made the right choice by staying with her. Everyone gets into fights every once in awhile. I'm sure you wouldn't have been together 2 years if you couldn't get along thus far. Good luck.
Recommended Posts