Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Hello everyone.so this is what happened ;I met this guy from tinder and we kept talking for about three months he was reallly into me more than i was into him.we even went on a date once and he told me later that he was more attracted to me after we met,i personally didn't like him that much but just didn't want to reject him and we continued talking.i'm not saying i didn't like him at all, it's just that he wasn't really my type but it didn't bother me to keep talking to him because he was so sweet and all,and i thought maybe after a second date i'll start liking him more,he always said that he loved me and he was so lucky to have me and stuff,but i never said i that i loved him because i didn't want to lie .So lately;we stopped talking much and i asked him why,he told me that he had a problem with whatssapp ,that he had changed his phone and whatssapp doesn't work on this new phone.so after this, he just dissapeared he even stopped texting and never tried to call ,it has been a week now.I thought maybe he lost my number,so i called him with a private number and he answered and i hang up the phone.after that i sent him a text from my sister's number this morning it was 'still alive?' but he didn't reply.so what do you guys think? Ps;i did not use my number because i have this problem i can't call or text but still can receive phone calls and text messages. Sorry if i made some mistakes english is my second language Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Obviously he figured it out that you were not on the same page, so he ditched you. Once a guy pours his heart out and doesn't have it reciprocated, he isn't going to waste his time anymore. His heart is broken, he may have felt he was mislead, is disappointed/upset....so what other choice did he have? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 well,he could've just told me i don't think this is working out because you don't feel the same way.but not just disappear Link to post Share on other sites
2005tahoe Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Obviously he figured it out that you were not on the same page, so he ditched you. Once a guy pours his heart out and doesn't have it reciprocated, he isn't going to waste his time anymore. His heart is broken, he may have felt he was mislead, is disappointed/upset....so what other choice did he have? smackie9, doesn't this sound familiar? lol Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 If you weren't that interested in him in the first place what difference does any of this make now? Apparently he felt the same way about you. Don't invest time in people you are just lukewarm about. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 OP it sounds like you've become more interested him... since he ghosted you and thus, is no longer interested in you. Is this true? Not judging just asking. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 well,he could've just told me i don't think this is working out because you don't feel the same way.but not just disappear what was holding you back from telling him that there was no real attraction???. You spent months communicating with him for f sakes, you had plenty of time to end it....he ghosted on you because he felt mislead....ghosting is what you deserved in his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 I'm just confused,and a big part of me just thinks it's just a problem with his phone or number.I just don't know what that problem is Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I'm just confused,and a big part of me just thinks it's just a problem with his phone or number.I just don't know what that problem is He probably met someone else on Tinder and just got tired of the lukewarm response from you and decided to move on. I think your ego is bruised. If you weren't that interested in him, this is for the best. Go out there and meet other people -- don't settle just because the guy is "nice". 6 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I just told you why....you didn't reciprocate, and now he feels he was mislead. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 He probably met someone else on Tinder and just got tired of the lukewarm response from you and decided to move on. I think your ego is bruised. If you weren't that interested in him, this is for the best. Go out there and meet other people -- don't settle just because the guy is "nice". What is up with this? They don't half way like the guy but as soon as he pulls away they start to freak out! Why is everyone so desperate all of a sudden? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 OP it sounds like you've become more interested him... since he ghosted you and thus, is no longer interested in you. Is this true? Not judging just asking. No I'm not more intersted,i'm just confused and wanna know why he would just change on me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 what was holding you back from telling him that there was no real attraction???. You spent months communicating with him for f sakes, you had plenty of time to end it....he ghosted on you because he felt mislead....ghosting is what you deserved in his mind. On my defense,i was just taking time to see if i could start developing feelings for him after spending some time.Because he was kind of sweet and cute i just wasn't thaaat into him Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 He probably met someone else on Tinder and just got tired of the lukewarm response from you and decided to move on. I think your ego is bruised. If you weren't that interested in him, this is for the best. Go out there and meet other people -- don't settle just because the guy is "nice". He had deleted tinder and so did I ,and we were both planning to go on another date together Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 What is up with this? They don't half way like the guy but as soon as he pulls away they start to freak out! Why is everyone so desperate all of a sudden? I'm not desperate ,I'm just confused of how someone can just change on you all of a sudden,and i actually liked him a little Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 No I'm not more intersted,i'm just confused and wanna know why he would just change on me You've probably heard that relationships that move too fast don't work. Well relationships that move too slow, don't work either. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 On my defense,i was just taking time to see if i could start developing feelings for him after spending some time. Because he was kind of sweet and cute i just wasn't thaaat into him Bingo! You weren't that into him! And he knew that too, helloooooo. Why would you expect him to hang around knowing you were not that into him? Do you think he's stupid or something? Come on now girl, who in their right mind would continue hanging around someone who wasn't into them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 On my defense,i was just taking time to see if i could start developing feelings for him after spending some time.Because he was kind of sweet and cute i just wasn't thaaat into him This is dumb. If this is how you felt you should have been honest with him at the beginning because he was under the impression you were falling for him like he was falling for you. I don't blame him for ditching you to be honest. You kept him around for the attention....I don't buy your "well maybe I might like him later..." Who does that? You had months, you just wasted his time. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I think as someone mentioned, you were lukewarm about him but enjoyed receiving the attention. Waiting for your "feelings to change' hardly ever happens you either feel something reciprocally or you don't. I use to be like this. I was so desperate to be in a relationship that I would date men I didn't like. I would always tell myself that my feelings would change, but they never did. To my surprise, the guys felt hurt and would often refrain from contacting me until there was zero amount of communication. Then, I would start to wonder why ring and contact them... because hey, why have they limited the attention and affection they were giving me? I needed the validation... I felt lonely, and I was use to getting rejected. I think you need to take a real hard look at yourself to ask yourself the real reasons why you care if he's ghosted. If you did not like him much in the first place, his sudden disappearance wouldn't matter to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coolmee Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 Listen;i'm going to reexplain ; if he had doubts about my feelings or anything he could've just confronted me, he could've just said' hey what's up with you i'm not sure if you're interested in me anymore' or anything like this he wouldn't just disapear now im just wondering if he was honest with me in the first place if anything he said to me was true or not. now i just wanna ask you again should i text him again or should i try and call him because i'm doubting there's a problem on his phone i just wanna check Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 (edited) Listen;i'm going to reexplain ; if he had doubts about my feelings or anything he could've just confronted me, he could've just said' hey what's up with you i'm not sure if you're interested in me anymore' now i just wanna ask you again should i text him again or should i try and call him because i'm doubting there's a problem on his phone i just wanna check Sure he could have said that, but apparently he did NOT have any doubts about your feelings, he KNEW you weren't that into him! So why ask? He already knew. Some of us are real perceptive and we can tell when someone is into us (or not) based on their actions and words combined with our own intuition. He also may have thought you were messing with him, stringing him along... again based on your words, actions and our own intuition. So we don't need to ask, because we already know and we just move on. That said, if you are this conflicted about it, sure go ahead and text him again or call him and ask him what's up. You've got nothing to lose and even if he rejects you, you won't feel any worse than you do already, and at least you'll have your answer instead of all this guessing. Frankly since you admit you are NOT into him, not sure why you even care. Edited August 29, 2016 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 How old are you OP? Very young I guess ? What's so confused about his behaviour? Obviously he disappeared cuz he's no longer interested in an uninterested woman. Why he wasnt upfront and broke up with you? Because you were not even together there was nothing to break up from Seriously don't know what part of it got you so confused Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Listen;i'm going to reexplain ; if he had doubts about my feelings or anything he could've just confronted me, he could've just said' hey what's up with you i'm not sure if you're interested in me anymore' or anything like this he wouldn't just disapear now im just wondering if he was honest with me in the first place if anything he said to me was true or not. now i just wanna ask you again should i text him again or should i try and call him because i'm doubting there's a problem on his phone i just wanna check He doesn't have doubts about your feelings . He knows you don't have feelings hence no need for him to talk, confront, or ask you what's going on. He knows what's going on and he decided to move on If you don't like him , don't contact him anymore 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 What's more important OP? Your ego and your feelings or his? The only reason why you would contact him again is because you are more concerned about your feelings and your shattered ego than him and his feelings. He does not have feelings for you anymore. He got lost and caught up in having a potential girlfriend and you liked the attention of someone telling you that they loved you even though they did not know you. Which to me is quite sad. Honestly, Girl, move on! No offence, but you sound way more desperate than he is at this point. You don't need an explanation, you just need to move on. Please have some dignity and allow him to have his while it's still intact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Listen;i'm going to reexplain ; if he had doubts about my feelings or anything he could've just confronted me, he could've just said' hey what's up with you i'm not sure if you're interested in me anymore' or anything like this he wouldn't just disapear now im just wondering if he was honest with me in the first place if anything he said to me was true or not. now i just wanna ask you again should i text him again or should i try and call him because i'm doubting there's a problem on his phone i just wanna check He's not obligated to do anything. If he doesn't feel you're interested and doesn't feel the need to confront, he has every right to do so. You sound entitled. For someone who was half interested you seem to have demands as to how he treats you. Leave the guy alone. You're upset because you ego is bruised and that he isn't paying you attention. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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