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My Boyfriend worries way too much and I don't know how to handle it.

stateofgrace24

By stateofgrace24
in General Relationship Discussion

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stateofgrace24 New Member

stateofgrace24

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My boyfriend and I recently got back together and he and I are trying to be better, and handle things better than we both have in the past. One thing that has been driving me crazy is that he is ALWAYS worrying. It's like every five minutes he apologizes for disturbing me, apologizes for getting in the way of me doing something, apologizes if he's done something wrong. He also is always assuming the tone of the text and thinking that I am not ok or upset, when honestly I am just simply replying to the text. He also starts worrying about the relationship if I am not being as lovey dovey with him as he is with me. I've tried being reassuring and loving but now it's just driving me a little crazy and I have to stop myself from saying " STOP WORRYING FOR CHRIST SAKE!"

 

Obviously I don't want to say that. How can I help him stop worrying so much? It's effecting the relationship badly and it's driving me crazy.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

He sounds really clingy and insecure. I can't tell you any way to change him. You can't make people change. It would take therapy. He's too insecure to be ready for a relationship, in my opinion.

 

Next time he does it, turn it around on him and say "Why do you ask?" Don't answer him. He keeps begging for validation and reassurance like a child. Just keep asking him "Why do you ask?" and "Why are you apologizing? What did you do?" And at some point you may as well yell at him about it because I can't imagine you're going to be able to stay with him.

spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

You say you have got back together recently. Who split the relationship in the first place? If it was you, then it sounds like he is living on edge, wondering when you are going to do it again. If this is the case, I am not sure it is curable because he is always likely to feel on the back foot unless he starts to feel that he doesn't care whether you two stay together or not.

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angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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Yup! Yet another reason why dumpees should not waste their time convincing dumpers to get back together! They'll spend the whole time in round 2 of the relationship waiting for the other shoe to drop. Pure torture for them while they wait and try to prevent the inevitable, and irritating and exhausting for the partner who has to constantly reassure them.

Romantic Gentleman Member

Romantic Gentleman

Posted
Posted
You say you have got back together recently. Who split the relationship in the first place? If it was you, then it sounds like he is living on edge, wondering when you are going to do it again. If this is the case, I am not sure it is curable because he is always likely to feel on the back foot unless he starts to feel that he doesn't care whether you two stay together or not.

 

What I was thinking too. Didn't know if something may have happened in the past that makes him feel that way

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
My boyfriend and I recently got back together and he and I are trying to be better, and handle things better than we both have in the past. One thing that has been driving me crazy is that he is ALWAYS worrying. It's like every five minutes he apologizes for disturbing me, apologizes for getting in the way of me doing something, apologizes if he's done something wrong. He also is always assuming the tone of the text and thinking that I am not ok or upset, when honestly I am just simply replying to the text. He also starts worrying about the relationship if I am not being as lovey dovey with him as he is with me. I've tried being reassuring and loving but now it's just driving me a little crazy and I have to stop myself from saying " STOP WORRYING FOR CHRIST SAKE!"

 

Obviously I don't want to say that. How can I help him stop worrying so much? It's effecting the relationship badly and it's driving me crazy.

 

Be as loving and attentive as he is . . . if you can't do that, then you two simply aren't compatible. When he texts, pick up the phone and call him. Talk more.

 

Take him by the shoulders and shake him . . . "I love you"

 

There is a song I love "If tomorrow never comes . . . " I make sure I tell my children and my SO often and even if they want that every 5 minutes . . . but I don't do that really because I never let ever have to question. I wake up everyday thinking about how I can show or tell them . . . it only takes a minute . . . and then, they don't need it that often. Make your SO a priority in your life. Don't take them for granted.

 

If you really, truly love them, you tell them, show them for as long and as often as it takes for them to just know.

Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

Posted
Posted
" STOP WORRYING FOR CHRIST SAKE!"

 

Boy, I thought you were on the right track. Explain to him he won't have to guess if there's a problem - you'll tell him. Just like you're telling him now ;) ...

 

Mr. Lucky

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

He doesn't trust that the relationship is secure.

 

What is the context behind this? Who ended it in the first place? Why? Why did you get back together? And what changed to make it work this time?

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