Broke up with him because of instagram.. am i wrong?

[mf0905]

Hello there, my name is Maria, this is my very first post here, I joined because I recently broke up my 3 years old relationship and I don't know if I was over reacting or that I am right.. Obviously I feel this way because its been 3 years with this person and it hurts. So here it goes, like a month ago my boyfriend friend requested on fb again one of his ex girlfriends (which I didn't feel comfortable about it because lets just say she is not a decent woman) I never told him to delete her or anything I just asked surprisingly he added her. He got really really mad. I let that emotion go, and just didn't think about it anymore. He now works on a different city (so, long distance for the first time in 3 years) and this girl her name is Julie lives there, so obviously i had to ask. Then days later I realized he deleted our pictures, changed his relationship status to private (only I can see it) and I asked him again, why did you do that? He got mad again, called me an insecure person and a controlling girlfriend. Then, he joined Instagram for the first time, his sister told me (she is like a sister to me, we are really close) it was public and he added a few of his exes and a particularly girl that like 2 years ago she called him to asked him to leave me (she is basically a whore who wanted to hook up with him). At that time he stopped talking to her.

 

Then I told him I saw him on IG, he lied by saying it was not him. That he didn't have an account and didn't even know how to use IG. After that, He blocked me, and went private. He even block my MOM. like really? She only uses IG to see me and my sisters.

 

So, he just says that is only social media and that I am paranoid and INSECURE and that is it only my problem, that it is his account and he wont added me.

 

I dont really care about IG or FB you know? it felt really wrong, why on earth my boyfriend would blocked me? he says because he got traumatized by me asking him about FB so that he prefers not having me.. but then again I asked him what would he feel if I moved outta town and connected with my EX? and he said that he would also be surprised.

 

I broke up with him saying I don't want at this point of the relationship someone who hides me.. there is no reason at all to do that and if he used his time to search for those girls and followed them, he also used his time to search for me and block me...

 

AM I OVER REACTING? because he says I do, and that social networking does not determinate a relationship, which I know it doesn't, but it was the lies and the feeling he made me feel... IS IT NORMAL? AM I WRONG? HAS IT HAPPENED TO YOU?

 

what do you think? I truly appreciate any support and advice!

 

 

By the way i am 25 and he is 26 yrs old.

Edited August 29, 2016 by mf0905
adding our ages! thanks

[CarrieT]

Google "gaslighting" and see if this applies to this:

He got mad again, called me an insecure person and a controlling girlfriend.

 

You are not wrong. You dodged a bullet.

[JewelD]

No, he was cheating or planning to cheat. My ex did the same thing. He said fb was taking over our relationship, so he blocked me and deleted our pictures.

 

Then he lied and told me he had deactivated his account bc he was running for office in his fraternity and didn't want anything on his fb to ruin it. But one day I saw him looking at his fb on his phone, so I flipped out on him for lying.

 

Long story short, dirty dogs like to use social media as a way to meet new/old women. They have to portray themselves as single, which is why you get blocked and he says you're making a big deal of 'nothing'. In my case, it was something. Eventually I found out he was messaging women on fb, some from his past, some he was trying to get to know.

 

You did the right thing, don't look back.

[juniorrocha]

I would make it a very big deal if a girlfriend of mine blocked me anywhere, or deleted our pictures. I can't see any valid reason why would someone want to do that.

 

Good thing you broke up with him, now stick with it. If he hasn't cheated, he was going to.

[Michellinda]

Smart move on your part. Everything he did was suspicious don't be surprised when he comes crawling back and apologizing. Just keep loving yourself and move on!

[mf0905]

Google "gaslighting" and see if this applies to this:

 

 

You are not wrong. You dodged a bullet.

 

Wow, I googled what gaslighting was and yes, I believe it definitely applies, he was trying to manipulate me because he won't admit he did something wrong, always using words like 'in your world' (my world) and stuff like that. Thank you, I did not know that!

[mf0905]

Thank you all for taking the time to support me and for giving me your advice. He still texts me, I reply to him but very dry. I don't know how to stop it because I am not that strong, but definitely won't accept everything he did. What if he comes back apologizing and following or what ever? I don't think he would do that because at this time he hasnt even apologize to me or even admit that he lied to me, I told him today that he even lied saying it wasnt him and he just changed the conversation saying he had a trouble at work. but I want to do the right thing?

[JewelD]

Thank you all for taking the time to support me and for giving me your advice. He still texts me, I reply to him but very dry. I don't know how to stop it because I am not that strong, but definitely won't accept everything he did. What if he comes back apologizing and following or what ever? I don't think he would do that because at this time he hasnt even apologize to me or even admit that he lied to me, I told him today that he even lied saying it wasnt him and he just changed the conversation saying he had a trouble at work. but I want to do the right thing?

 

He's not going to give you any type of closure so you just gotta accept it and let him go. There's no point in arguing about it because you know what's going on and you know he's dishonest.

[CarrieT]

He still texts me, I reply to him but very dry.

You need to block him.

 

Even "dry" responses are acknowledgments and there is no reason to stay in contact. He will look for a crack and worm his way back - something I don't think you really want.