Need i don't know how to handle my boyfriends so called friends negative remarks

[missingu]

My boyfriend and i have been togethet for 2 and a half years. At the start my boyfriend and i were living at home so we managed just fine, he spent lots of time with his friends and i spent time with mine. We got along fine.

 

Fast forward to this last year. We moved out of home for the first time ever and in together. My boyfriend is constantly out at footy/cricket training and he goes to gym on top of that. We have one free day together a week. We both work full time and different hours.

 

I told my boyfriend he should go see his friends and hang out but he barely ever gets time with everything he is doing. His friends write me nasty things like " is he allowed to come out tonight?" And its really starting to piss me off as i never have and never will tell my man he must be with me at all times as he does whatever makes him happy.

I just found out i am losing my job and i dont need.this high school stress drama ****en bull****.

 

 

I should also mentiom we have bills to pay we arent just sitting at home with mummy and daddy sponging off of them.

 

My patience are.wearing thin what do i do,?

[BaileyB]

Your boyfriend makes his choices about how to spend his time - it sounds like cricket and the gym are high priority for him and friends are not. If he is unhappy with this, he can make a different choice. If not, he needs to deal with his friends and tell them to leave you alone with the comments. He needs to take some responsibility for his decisions and his friends need to but out - it's none of their business.

 

And, sorry to hear about your job. Good luck wih your search.

[Mikau]

I think you need to look at your boyfriend as both the cause and the solution to this problem. I can guarantee you that these comments come from your boyfriend blaming you to them whenever he spends time with you over them. As in, they ask him, and his response is "I can't, I've got to spend time with the missus". This breeds a very different response than "No sorry, I'm spending time with my girlfriend". One sounds like you're not allowing him, the other sounds like he's choosing to spend time with you.

 

I would talk to your BF to make him stop referring to you and your time spent together like this, and encourage him to set his friends straight. This is his fight, and you're collateral damage.

[elaine567]

He is choosing to spend his time in the gym and playing cricket/footy as opposed to hanging out with his friends and no doubt he is implying or even saying that it is YOUR fault that he is not spending time with them.

You need to tell him to put them straight, and if he doesn't do it, then just tell them he is out at sports 6 nights a week and you hardly see him either, which is the truth.

You cannot be the fall guy for his lack of consideration for his friends.

Friendships and relationships need maintained, it seems he is not that interested in doing that, as his hobbies/sports are taking precedence over them, and you for that matter.

[preraph]

Well, since he's not defending you to his friends, I'd take care of it myself by telling the next one who pops off about you keeping him from going out with them, "Is that what he tells you? Sounds like he's just using me for an excuse because he doesn't want to see you."

[spiderowl]

I would just tell his friends it is your boyfriend's choice what he does and you are not his keeper. If they want to talk to him, they should contact him directly. Just don't allow yourself to be a go-between.

[spiderowl]

Sounds like you get little time with him, which must be frustrating, and now his friends are blaming you for not getting time with him either. That must be doubly annoying. I don't blame you for wanting to see more of him.

[angel.eyes]

Sounds like his friends don't have girlfriends yet.

[Romantic Gentleman]

I've ran into the same problem when I got a girlfriend, and quit hanging out with my buddies as much. It wasn't that I didn't want to see them, my time was just super busy with work, and other hobbies I was involved with like your boyfriend. When friends don't see each other as much when one gets into a relationship, they usually always blame the girlfriend. Don't take it personally, sometimes it's hard for friends to grasp that they won't be spending as much time together anymore. I know it's irritating, but they need to understand that it's your boyfriends decision, not yours