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Boyfriend sent me a text meant for someone else

FIONA7

By FIONA7
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Close to 5 months.

 

Holy cow ..what??

 

Were you exclusive? how often did you see each other?

angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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Close to 5 months.

 

Sorry to hear. That's tough. I thought it was a couple of dates. Still, despite the disappointment, better to learn now than in a year.

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FIONA7 Member

FIONA7

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Yes exclusive. So I thought.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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BTW it's not that easy for men to find women that are readily open to hooking up. I have always had a lot of male friends and even semi-attractive ones have trouble getting FWB arrangements. It's actually really rare for women to readily accept that without being led on or lied to. I can imagine that it only works for a very small % of guys that look like models or are rich/famous.

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RoseHeart Established Member

RoseHeart

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No, no, no just no!

 

This guy is BAD NEWS. Move on! Please. He is not honest, faithful or worth it.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Boyfriend sent me a text meant for someone else.

Recently I had a guy I was dating do this to me.... turned out he was intentionally messing with my head though, to stir jealousy in me (he admitted he was playing games when I dumped him).

 

Not sure what's going on with your boyfriend though... but at first blush it sounds like he is full of **** and that he probably was texting another woman.

ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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I actually think YOU were the accidental other woman. Sounds to me like his accidental text to you was meant for a girlfriend who had asked him to see her that night and he told her he was too tired. Sounds to me like he was cheating on another girl with you (through no fault of your own of course!).

 

 

Yuck! Well done dumping his sorry butt! 5 months is long enough to develop feelings, I know that..but aren't you glad this happened now and not 5 YEARS from now??

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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I actually think YOU were the accidental other woman. Sounds to me like his accidental text to you was meant for a girlfriend who had asked him to see her that night and he told her he was too tired. Sounds to me like he was cheating on another girl with you (through no fault of your own of course!).

 

 

Yuck! Well done dumping his sorry butt! 5 months is long enough to develop feelings, I know that..but aren't you glad this happened now and not 5 YEARS from now??

 

I don't think the length of time matters.... it's HURTS to be messed about with like this no matter how long you've been dating.

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FIONA7 Member

FIONA7

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I actually think YOU were the accidental other woman. Sounds to me like his accidental text to you was meant for a girlfriend who had asked him to see her that night and he told her he was too tired. Sounds to me like he was cheating on another girl with you (through no fault of your own of course!).

 

 

Yuck! Well done dumping his sorry butt! 5 months is long enough to develop feelings, I know that..but aren't you glad this happened now and not 5 YEARS from now??

 

I don't think so. He literally spent all his days nights off with me. I wasn't even supposed to see him that night as he was supposed to be working but he called me in the morning and said he requested the night off and wanted to take me out...

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FIONA7 Member

FIONA7

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I don't think so. He literally spent all his days nights off with me. I wasn't even supposed to see him that night as he was supposed to be working but he called me in the morning and said he requested the night off and wanted to take me out...

 

I guess the point is if he can text another woman saying he's going to sleep but actually going out with me then how many times has he done that to me... I'm shocked because he was attentive called and text me consistently... Something still felt off though as I described in the original post and inconsistencies with his rota but I couldn't prove anything.

Daisy-oliviaWentcher Established Member

Daisy-oliviaWentcher

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You deserve better than this

You deserve better than this

You deserve better than this

You deserve better than this

You deserve better than this

 

 

This guy is an A grade Jerk

 

When you do find the right guy, you'll laugh to yourself thinking " how the hell did I ever end up with a guy like that?" and you'll be all the more appreciative of a real man who worships the ground you walk on.

 

Good luck :)

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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I guess the point is if he can text another woman saying he's going to sleep but actually going out with me then how many times has he done that to me... I'm shocked because he was attentive called and text me consistently... Something still felt off though as I described in the original post and inconsistencies with his rota but I couldn't prove anything.

 

I know you want answers hun...thats normal...but you're not going to get any honest ones from him

 

I know how you feel...about 3 weeks ago I walked in on my now ex bf having sex with another woman....we were together for about 3 months

 

I had the same thought process as you...the second I walked in on him...it was over...I never talked to him again...but I was left wondering how many times this had happened...after doing some probing...I found out he had cheated more than once and it started 2 months after we started dating...it hurts to know he was betraying me while I was with him and unfortunatly I didnt find out until a month after it started....it makes me sick to know I let him touch me when he was invloved with another woman...after I set some swift retribution in motion I feel better

 

Never ignore your intution...I ignored mine until that night

 

IMO, he was def 100% cheating...you were lucky to find out early

 

Be patient with yourself...give yourself time to heal. Dont beat yourself up for wanting answers....thats normal....but dont ever speak to him again...he'll only feed you more BS

 

Best of luck to you hun! Xoxo :):bunny:

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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He was sketchy before and now he is sketchy again.....you did the right thing to ditch the problem.....him!

ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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I don't think the length of time matters.... it's HURTS to be messed about with like this no matter how long you've been dating.

 

:confused: Where did I say it didn't hurt? All I said was that she should be glad she didn't waste more time on this loser.

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SleeplessIn Established Member

SleeplessIn

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I once dated a guy for a year, a successful and very nice lawyer. Near the end of that year, he asked me to move in with him. I felt things between us were serious enough that it was worth giving this a try. So I gave up the small house I'd been renting, found homes for my 3 dogs (he lived in a condo with a tiny yard and I had Huskies), and moved in.

 

Two months later, he traveled with friends to the Super Bowl -- I couldn't go because I didn't have enough leave time from work -- and when he got back he told me that it wasn't "working" and I should move back out. No warning, just bam!

 

Fortunately, I was able to move into a girlfriend's apartment. But I practically had a breakdown ... my dogs were gone, my guy was gone, etc.

 

A couple months later, he married ... MARRIED ... a junior lawyer who worked in his office. So much for "working late", I guess.

 

Be glad you didn't waste a year on this bozo, FIONA7.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
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I once dated a guy for a year, a successful and very nice lawyer. Near the end of that year, he asked me to move in with him. I felt things between us were serious enough that it was worth giving this a try. So I gave up the small house I'd been renting, found homes for my 3 dogs (he lived in a condo with a tiny yard and I had Huskies), and moved in.

 

Two months later, he traveled with friends to the Super Bowl -- I couldn't go because I didn't have enough leave time from work -- and when he got back he told me that it wasn't "working" and I should move back out. No warning, just bam!

 

Fortunately, I was able to move into a girlfriend's apartment. But I practically had a breakdown ... my dogs were gone, my guy was gone, etc.

 

A couple months later, he married ... MARRIED ... a junior lawyer who worked in his office. So much for "working late", I guess.

 

Be glad you didn't waste a year on this bozo, FIONA7.

 

I hope you got your dogs back...thats sad :(

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Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I didn't really see it as he stood me up because the moment I got the text I stood up and walked away from the bar that he knew I was waiting for him at. My heart was beating so fast and I honestly felt like I was going to collapse from shock so I sat on a bench so I could calm myself down before I got up and went back to the train station. He called me close to 6pm supposedly that's when he had arrived but I diverted the call. Nevertheless he was still an hour late - that's as good as stood up in my books. The only trouble I'm having with all of this is the time stamp of the message in the screenshot was the same as the one to me: 17:22. But with no previous conversation. This leads me to believe he has simply edited the contact in his phone book to his mates name and deleted all previous texts before taking the screenshot. Would someone be so calculating? It makes me physically sick :( I just don't understand why he would mess around with a single mum when there are so many single ladies out there who are happy to hook up. He's promised me he hasn't deceived me in any way but I can't accept his 'evidence' as the truth. It simply doesn't correlate to the texts he sent me. I've already dumped him, blocked him. Yet I'm sat here feeling like crap yet again because of what he's done. I really hate this.

 

I just don't understand why he would mess around with a single mum when there are so many single ladiesBecause his other options are dry at the moment . . .

 

Why would you feel like crap? I wouldn't feel like crap, I'd feel relieved that they only got to treat me like crap ONCE. I'd feel like crap if I fell for it and saw him again, only to be treated like crap again. Even then, I wouldn't be mad at them, I'd be mad at myself -- But, I can't stay mad at myself for very long, because I like ME.

Edited by Redhead14
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I just don't understand why he would mess around with a single mum when there are so many single ladies

 

Do you think men really consider that you are a single mum? Sorry to be blunt, but to them a "hole" is a "hole"... you can dress it up anyway you want to to make it sound nicer but that is the core of the truth.

 

Men try to do it to me as well, all the time. It's no reflection on you or me. But it is reflection on you if you keep giving guys like this a chance after you were hit on the head with the blunt truth. This loser is not even worth another post.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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Yes exclusive. So I thought.

 

Did you two have a conversation where you both agreed on exclusivity? How long ago?

 

If you did, then it's clear that he said what he needed to say to get you in the bed.

 

If not...

 

Sometimes, it works out... sometimes it doesn't. The best thing you can do is to take note of where you noticed but ignored the breakdown so that in your next relationship, when something doesn't add up, you don't waste 5 months of your youth on something pointless. You own you voice, you speak up and if doing so sends him packing, then good riddance. You don't need someone who flees when you're asking for clarity in intention.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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We have been dating for a few months but it was a bit of a rocky start for other reasons (never suspected cheating or anything like that) but since we started dating again I've felt he's been elsewhere and not acting the same.

 

How long ago did you reconnect the relationship?

ChickiePops Established Member

ChickiePops

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Wait..since when are single moms not single women? So confused...

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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I guess the point is if he can text another woman saying he's going to sleep but actually going out with me then how many times has he done that to me... I'm shocked because he was attentive called and text me consistently...

 

Something still felt off though as I described in the original post and inconsistencies with his rota but I couldn't prove anything.

 

Next time follow your gut! We were blessed with intuition for a reason... use it!

 

Sorry this happened.... best of luck moving forward.

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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I

 

Why would you feel like crap? I wouldn't feel like crap, I'd feel relieved that they only got to treat me like crap ONCE. I'd feel like crap if I fell for it and saw him again, only to be treated like crap again. Even then, I wouldn't be mad at them, I'd be mad at myself -- But, I can't stay mad at myself for very long, because I like ME.

 

Because she's HUMAN, with emotions and feelings like most humans.

 

We are allowed to feel like crap when someone messes us about.... come on now.

 

What is important is how she allows that to affect her life.

 

I was blessed with a lot of resilience so I can bounce back relatively quickly.... but I still feel like crap for a bit when someone messes with me because I am HUMAN.

 

I trust OP can and will do the same.

Edited by katiegrl
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