Boyfriend sent me a text meant for someone else

[FIONA7]

So it was date night and I arrived at the bar first. My new-ish boyfriend was running late and supposedly going to be another 20mins so I was sat waiting for him at the table. We were sending whatsapps to each other and the last one was me telling him I couldn't even get a drink because I'd lose the table. He replied back '??' that was at around 5pm. At 5:22pm I then get two texts from him...

 

"I know ?"

"Ok I'm off to sleep"

 

What would you guys make of this? He's on his way to a date with me but texting someone else saying he's off to sleep!!!!

 

Some background.. He does shift work so often goes to sleep at random times so this wouldn't be questioned to whoever he was texting. He's online on Whatsapp 24-7. To who I have no idea. We have been dating for a few months but it was a bit of a rocky start for other reasons (never suspected cheating or anything like that) but since we started dating again I've felt he's been elsewhere and not acting the same. He had sent me his work rota months before and I think he'd forgotten he had done so and he was being really shady about off days which i didn't question until I got this accidental text. Then it made sense that perhaps he was lying to me about being off so he could see this other woman if that's what's going on.

 

Anyway, his story is he was texting his male friend. It was a joke supposedly. I asked to see a screenshot then. If that was true and 20mins later he sends through a screenshot with no previous conversation and only the words 'ok off to sleep' the last messages between them were 6 days earlier!!! So the 'I know ?' line was missing and there was no previous conversation that consolidated his story. When I asked him where the rest of the conversation was he said there isn't any because they were on the phone and the line cut out due to him being on the trains and then he just text him 'ok off to sleep'

 

Also. He never showed up. It got to 6pm and I was texting him if I'm wrong where are you???? Why haven't you showed up??? I blocked him and I got on the train back home shaking at what I had just experienced. Have I over reacted? My gut tells me it's dodgy as hell and when I asked him to prove it the screenshot he sent me only confirmed he's lying. Am I in the wrong here?

[h0000]

Don't even for a second think he may not be cheating on you. Just don't

[FIONA7]

I didn't and I lost it with him believe me. I didn't accept his explanation and finished with him. 2 days later I can think of nothing else at how this could even happen and start questioning myself

[Arieswoman]

The guy is a waste of space.

 

No, you did not overreact.

 

Yes, you did right to block him.

 

Just be thankful he showed you his true colours at this early stage so you don't waste any more time on him.

 

Next !

[Gr8fuln2020]

I didn't and I lost it with him believe me. I didn't accept his explanation and finished with him. 2 days later I can think of nothing else at how this could even happen and start questioning myself

 

No, don't do this to yourself. The guy was playing you and there was no way of knowing it. Someone or something was watching over you....be grateful b/c many people don't get that much.

[smudge21]

He left you alone and didn't turn up for the date. Enough said, no matter what that message meant. Total disrespect.

[HumanMachine]

Don't ever contact him again, you made the right decision.

[Eternal Sunshine]

No, don't do this to yourself. The guy was playing you and there was no way of knowing it. Someone or something was watching over you....be grateful b/c many people don't get that much.

 

It depends how close you look. It's always pretty easy to tell because dishonest people give themselves away with many little inconsistencies.

[BaileyB]

And you say, almost as an aside... "And, he didn't turn up for the date."

 

For that reason alone, I'd be furious, but, it certainly does appear that he's cheating. Not to be trusted and not treating yoru with respect.

[FIONA7]

I was furious from the moment I received the accidental text and lost my cool through my messages to him. My reaction probably scared him into turning up but of course I took that as a sign of guilt hence me saying to him if I've got this wrong where the f are you???

[FIONA7]

His answer to that coincidentally was that he was still on the train to which I said how the f when at 5pm you said you would be 20mins? (It was almost 6pm at this point). I wasn't waiting for him in any case. I had walked back to the train station and was on the platform waiting for my train. He called once at 5.59 - I diverted the call and blocked him

[Gaeta]

Remind me of this time I went on a date and the guy was all over me saying he was feeling a connection, I was so amazing, he could see us together long term etc etc. When I got home I got a text from him saying: Sorry hon, my head ache was so bad I had to have a nap'.

 

So he had come up with the best excuse, migraines. This way he could pretend he needed time alone to rest but he'd go meet other women instead.

 

Sorry you had to go through this.

[mortensorchid]

He's certainly hiding something. I am 99.99% sure by these texts / evidence presented that there is another woman in the picture. Time to cut bait.

[mortensorchid]

Once a few years ago I was on a dating website and got some guy's number. Through texts we were chatting for a day or two, then the weekend came and I said I already had a plan maybe we could meet next week. On Saturday afternoon I get a text from him with a picture of him with his arm around this woman. It was not in a brother/sister or friend way. He also sent this text to a mass group of numbers and I got responses from them saying things like "You guys look so cute!", "What a nice couple!", etc. Needless to say, when he texted again on Monday I never responded.

[angel.eyes]

A cheating liar who stood you up?

 

Block...delete...move on.

[FIONA7]

I didn't really see it as he stood me up because the moment I got the text I stood up and walked away from the bar that he knew I was waiting for him at. My heart was beating so fast and I honestly felt like I was going to collapse from shock so I sat on a bench so I could calm myself down before I got up and went back to the train station. He called me close to 6pm supposedly that's when he had arrived but I diverted the call. Nevertheless he was still an hour late - that's as good as stood up in my books. The only trouble I'm having with all of this is the time stamp of the message in the screenshot was the same as the one to me: 17:22. But with no previous conversation. This leads me to believe he has simply edited the contact in his phone book to his mates name and deleted all previous texts before taking the screenshot. Would someone be so calculating? It makes me physically sick I just don't understand why he would mess around with a single mum when there are so many single ladies out there who are happy to hook up. He's promised me he hasn't deceived me in any way but I can't accept his 'evidence' as the truth. It simply doesn't correlate to the texts he sent me. I've already dumped him, blocked him. Yet I'm sat here feeling like crap yet again because of what he's done. I really hate this.

[kendahke]

He's promised me he hasn't deceived me in any way but I can't accept his 'evidence' as the truth.

 

I thought you said you blocked him?

 

You want to keep drilling down on this, driving up your blood pressure? You dont' need any answers from him. Your intuition painted you the perfect picture. That's all you need. You don't need lies compounded by more lies from him

 

Be done and be done.

[FIONA7]

I blocked him on Whatsapp and then blocked him on iMessage later when he started messaging on that. I didn't think of blocking that at first. And yes that's exactly what I'm doing. Trying to find answers. This is me all over

[Arieswoman]

FIONA7,

 

I can understand your need to find answers but it's not helpful to you.

 

Just accept that;

 

1. He acts like this because he's an @r$ehole ( and probably a cheating one at that)

2. His behaviour does not reflect on you as a person or as a woman.

3. You can do a Hell of a lot better.

 

and, as others have said, be glad he showed himself early before you were too invested.

[angel.eyes]

Some people cheat. You caught him cheating. What else is there to know?

 

Honestly, it sounds like you're just looking for excuses to backpedal and continue.

[FIONA7]

No I do not want or need to backpedal. I may be strong enough to walk away immediately upon sensing something is not right and cutting things off point blank but I'm human and it doesn't mean I'm a robot who can emotionally switch off the feelings I had and be able to move on 2 days later. Thanks for your response nonetheless.

[kendahke]

I blocked him on Whatsapp and then blocked him on iMessage later when he started messaging on that. I didn't think of blocking that at first. And yes that's exactly what I'm doing. Trying to find answers. This is me all over

 

You have your answers: He's managing more than one woman and his focus isn't you.

 

Your intuition hooked you up on that tip. Why is that not good enough?

 

Don't fall into the hole of trying to get "closure" from a liar. He's only going to tell you what will keep his access to you open--not the truth; IOW: manipulate. You already know the truth and don't need his version of it.

[kendahke]

it doesn't mean I'm a robot who can emotionally switch off the feelings I had and be able to move on 2 days later.

 

How much time have you invested in this guy?

[FIONA7]

Close to 5 months.

[TXGuy]

I'd say there is about an 80% chance he was chatting with another woman and about a 20% chance it was harmless.

 

Based on your reaction, it sounds like things are over either way. Don't torture yourself looking for answers. Just move on.