codelock Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 I'm actually not a fan of texting and generally dislike it so I feel a bit weird even asking this since normally it's a nonissue. Anyway I went to a speed dating event for the the first time with friends and for fun and a laugh. Ended up meeting a couple of guys there that were worth a second look. One guy I met and felt an instant connection with immediately. I actually have never felt that kind of connection with a guy so I'm very interested in seeing him again and seeing what happens. He wasn't someone I went on a date with but we did mingle in between and we ended up going to dinner at the same place with our friends. Anyway he messaged me after the event asking me for a date so we are going on our first date tomorrow. I noticed when he messaged me asking me for a date he took roughly 24 hours to reply. I thought it was because we were using the speed dating site so I requested he text me instead. We exchanged 6 texts within a reasonable amount of time and it was mostly banter. He mentioned a movie he really loves so I asked him a simple question saying, "what type of movies do you typically like?" He hasn't reply and it's been almost 18 hours since I sent that text. I know he has a very busy job with deadlines all the time (hence the speed dating) so I don't expect him or any person to be glued to their phone. However, I am used to guys making a bit more of an effort and being responsive at least initially like the first stages. I just don't want to talk myself out of being interested in this guy when we've already met and established that there is something there in person. Should I ignore his lack of responsiveness for now or take it as a pretty bad sign?
BaileyB Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 You haven't even gone out with him yet, so you can't expect him to invest a lot of time/be consistent with lots of communication. Go out with him, see if you like him enough to see him again, and don't worry about the communication just yet. 2
Author codelock Posted August 29, 2016 Author Posted August 29, 2016 You haven't even gone out with him yet, so you can't expect him to invest a lot of time/be consistent with lots of communication. Go out with him, see if you like him enough to see him again, and don't worry about the communication just yet. Yeah I understand that. I really dislike texting and many guys have commented on the fact that I don't text them often or regularly. I just found it odd as we only exchanged a few short texts, I asked a simple question and he never replied and now it's been a full day. It just seems kind of rude and is turning me off to the date tomorrow. We haven't confirmed when we are meeting tomorrow so the date may not even happen. I'm more asking because it seems a bit rude to not reply and I'm wondering if I'm just overthinking it. Typically when I don't want to have long texts, I reply with "I usually like these X movies but let's talk about it more on the date tomorrow. Hope you are having a good day" I don't just not reply and leave someone hanging. It just seems like a bad first impression
ThisisIt606 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 sure it's a little rude not to reply. But he could have seen it and forgot about it. I do this with my friends, but not to someone I'm interested in dating. That being said,see how he acts on your date and see how he texts post date. That should give you a better sense of things. 1
BaileyB Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I don't just not reply and leave someone hanging. It just seems like a bad first impression Agreed. It doesn't make a great first impression. I would not be very impressed either. But, you don't really know him yet. So, give him a chance and go out with him. If this is consistently how he communicates, that's not good... It doesn't show much interest or consideration for the other person. Good luck. 1
Author codelock Posted August 29, 2016 Author Posted August 29, 2016 Thanks all. If he confirms the date tomorrow, I'll give it a shot. He was interested enough to ask me out, so I don't see why he'd change his mind based on the texts. But yeah it is turning me off as generally I feel if someone can ignore me early days, they might be prone to ghosting, flakiness or other poor communication tactics. Either way a date on a weeknight is low risk. 2
Erik30 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 Generally speaking, I would say no, even though this guy really seems to be taking his time to reply, but that just might be the way he is. Besides, he's the one who asked you out. I think slow texting after the first date is a bad sign. That's the change in behaviour which usually happens when the person isn't interested anymore. Your guy might just be a slow texter, since he's been doing it from the start 1
Author codelock Posted August 29, 2016 Author Posted August 29, 2016 Generally speaking, I would say no, even though this guy really seems to be taking his time to reply, but that just might be the way he is. Besides, he's the one who asked you out. I think slow texting after the first date is a bad sign. That's the change in behaviour which usually happens when the person isn't interested anymore. Your guy might just be a slow texter, since he's been doing it from the start You are right, I'll keep an open mind. He did confirm the date and did mention he'll discuss his interests more on the date (so he may not be a good texter). On the upside, I found out tonight that my friend was into him and was texting him this weekend. She just told me that he sent her a very lovely reply saying he thought she was a great person but he didn't view her that way and didn't want to lead her on. His message was really mature and nice so makes me feel a bit more relieved that I may have misread him since he could have blown her off but instead chose to be honest. Fingers crossed the date tomorrow goes well!
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