Lostgirl186 Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Just out of curiosity, I've read on my other thread and some others on here about the MM (maybe sometimes MW) pulling away or going distant and cold after an encounter, either physical or virtual (phone sex, heavy sexting, Skype, etc.) what are your experiences? Do they pull away more after sex, how long, and do you get the "I've got to be good" or "I can't do this anymore" speech after, only to find a few months or weeks later your back in the same pattern?
imperfectangel Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Usually yes he would for about two weeks but last I saw he text me later than night and again a day or two later tbf he did explain why to me and at the time I accepted it so I can't be all horrible about it now.
Adoraxx Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Just out of curiosity, I've read on my other thread and some others on here about the MM (maybe sometimes MW) pulling away or going distant and cold after an encounter, either physical or virtual (phone sex, heavy sexting, Skype, etc.) what are your experiences? Do they pull away more after sex, how long, and do you get the "I've got to be good" or "I can't do this anymore" speech after, only to find a few months or weeks later your back in the same pattern? He always went icy cold on me after sex, ALWAYS. And sometimes even after having spent a little time (it was never much) with me. It made me feel like he got what he wanted and that he was satisfied now and that he didn't feel like putting any effort into contacting me anymore............... Of course, until the next time he was in 'the mood' again! I would always ask him "what's wrong? Did I do something? Why are you being so quiet?" and he would deny that he acted differently but he sure did! I'm not stupid, I always noticed it right away. I kept asking and then suddenly he said "I feel guilty" but after doing lots of reading about this, I feel like that was an excuse that came in handy for him (only speaking about my xMM here - maybe for other men it's different). And then, when he returned again after a couple of weeks, he said "oh I distanced myself because of your questions. I couldn't take it anymore!!!" Always putting all the blame on me. Never mind that I asked questions because he confused me with his disappearances after sex!! I started to question my own behavior and I felt like I was going crazy because he always knew how to blame me for the disappearances. After some time I started to write about every encounter in my diary, and that's how I discovered how the cycle went...
imperfectangel Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 My mm said it was guilt too. Maybe it genuinely is. How can hey betray someone in the worst way then act normal? I guess it's us that take the brunt, as usual
Adoraxx Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 I don't know if it was really guilt ... I think it was more that he was afraid to 'lose it all' (his house/ W/ everything) and yes, it's us that take the brunt . I often said: "No, we can't do it, you'll feel guilty" (what I meant is: You will disappear again) and he would always say "no of course I won't" and then he would put lots of pressure on me, and got mad at me when I didn't give in
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