For all [betrayed spouses] out there, did you ever regret?

[l8estnews]

I'll make this question as simple as it is? Have you ever regret marrying/being with your cheating partner/spouse? I keep hearing this "It's better to have loved and lost than not to love at all" but is it really true? I mean, I seriously don't think that BSs are smiling while their WSs are running off with their APs thinking "I am not sad it ended, but I am glad it happened..." I mean, your whole lives just collapsed.....

 

If you are going to end up being alone anyway, why not start building your life as a single person from the start and avoid being shattered to pieces by false promises by having a relationship?

 

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Additional Details: (Not necessary)

 

In this day and age, all I hear is married people hooking up with other people. I've seen it, heard it and experienced it firsthand, too. I know I sound cynical but it is happening. We have terms like 1st spouse, 2nd spouse because marriage do end, but marriage vows are still "Til death do us part." My question is, why go married? Why engage into something that was designed to be permanent, make vows of undying love, until someone finds someone better, lose interest, shatter the heat of the current partner, and call it quits?

 

I just... why?

[Arieswoman]

hmmmm,

this is a difficult one for me.

 

If I hadn't married my cheating exH I wouldn't have moved across the UK to be with him.

 

If I hadn't moved across the UK to be with him then my parents wouldn't have retired to the area.

 

If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have relocated to be nearer my mother after my Dad died.

 

If I hadn't relocated to that area I wouldn't have met my present husband who is a wonderful chap.

 

So to say I regret ever marrying that cheating POS is a bit of an insult to my present husband.

 

I always say, all things happen for a reason and to give us lessons to learn.

So I think we need to take what we can from our experiences and try and grow and develop into more mature and self-aware prople, and this will help our journey through life be happier.

 

Just my 6 penneth.

[NeotericJack]

... In this day and age, all I hear is married people hooking up with other people. I've seen it, heard it and experienced it firsthand, too. I know I sound cynical but it is happening. We have terms like 1st spouse, 2nd spouse because marriage do end, but marriage vows are still "Til death do us part." My question is, why go married? Why engage into something that was designed to be permanent, make vows of undying love, until someone finds someone better, lose interest, shatter the heat of the current partner, and call it quits?

 

I just... why?

 

I think our expectation of lifelong fidelity comes from a time when life was fundamentally different. Women, for instance, didn't have as many options for supporting themselves. They had to get a lifelong commitment from a man so they could be sure of having security in their old age. That's not the case now. Many women don't need men for the rest of their lives. They can take care of themselves.

 

The problem is, most western couples make the commitment in their 20s when the don't know much of anything, not the least of which is what the future holds. Eventually they realize they can take care of themselves, not only economically but emotionally, too. Then they start to think about moving-on.

[Logan787]

I'm sorry, I must be behind the times. What does BS, WS, and AP stand for?

[Toodaloo]

I'm sorry, I must be behind the times. What does BS, WS, and AP stand for?

 

Betrayed Spouse

Wayward Spouse

Affair Partner

 

Didn't marry the guy but was with him long enough and yes I do regret it. Didn't split up with him because of the cheating but it got worse after that and what a waste of years of my life and the strain on my health...

 

Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't been with him.

 

To be honest though I don't care to look back so I just keep looking forward.

[Woggle]

She made me move to New Jersey where I met my current wonderful wife bu5 on the other hand my first marriage made me go through a bitter woman hating phase so it is a toss up.

[DKT3]

Never regretted it, questioned my sanity, but I have the three most beautiful children anyone could wish for. We had many many wonderful years and experiences together up to that point. I truly believe my wife changed the trajectory of my life all those years back, for that and those kids I'm eternally grateful for.

[wmacbride]

I'll make this question as simple as it is? Have you ever regret marrying/being with your cheating partner/spouse? I keep hearing this "It's better to have loved and lost than not to love at all" but is it really true? I mean, I seriously don't think that BSs are smiling while their WSs are running off with their APs thinking "I am not sad it ended, but I am glad it happened..." I mean, your whole lives just collapsed.....

 

If you are going to end up being alone anyway, why not start building your life as a single person from the start and avoid being shattered to pieces by false promises by having a relationship?

 

--------------------------

 

Additional Details: (Not necessary)

 

In this day and age, all I hear is married people hooking up with other people. I've seen it, heard it and experienced it firsthand, too. I know I sound cynical but it is happening. We have terms like 1st spouse, 2nd spouse because marriage do end, but marriage vows are still "Til death do us part." My question is, why go married? Why engage into something that was designed to be permanent, make vows of undying love, until someone finds someone better, lose interest, shatter the heat of the current partner, and call it quits?

 

I just... why?

 

I don't regret it at all.

Everything one experiences in life shapes the rest of it and also who they are.

[Mr. Lucky]

Never regretted it, questioned my sanity, but I have the three most beautiful children anyone could wish for.

 

^^^ This. Our son (and now grandkids ) from the marriage is worth any price I might have paid. Absent him, might feel differently...

 

Mr. Lucky

[ladydesigner]

Never regretted it, questioned my sanity, but I have the three most beautiful children anyone could wish for. We had many many wonderful years and experiences together up to that point. I truly believe my wife changed the trajectory of my life all those years back, for that and those kids I'm eternally grateful for.

 

Yes this ^ I will never regret having my kids. I'll keep them, but I may give WH tha boot!

[bubbaganoosh]

I regret marrying my first wife but not our daughter. The lady over time got as mean as a rattlesnake and a nasty mouth.

 

After we got divorced, I had so many people ask me how I put up wit her fro 10 years. She cheated on me and I didn't find out until after we were divorced. I wanted to find the guy and I knew him and ask him why he just didn't take her with him. LOL

[2.50 a gallon]

For me it is a two edged sword. Caught Ex cheating, kicked her to the curb, walked away and never looked back. It was something like 8 years later that I found out that I was officially divorced.

Was left a bitter man when it came to love. Swore I would never fall in love again. But that did not mean that I gave up on sex. No one could get through my walls. So I never had the family that I had wanted, no grandkids.

But on the other hand, my college days were frustrating. I knew I loved history, but no advisor could help me find the right path. Had to drop out of college in order to be eligible for an apprenticeship, which gave me survival skills. Though I hated my job.

After we married we moved a thousand miles away from out hometown to her to start her career. Shortly after the break up, looking for something to do on my day off, drove my a local big time University. Decided to check out their coeds. While half a mile from my car, was caught in a down pour so ducked into a large building, which turned out to be the graduate library. Waiting for the rain to let up, went to the history department, pulled down a book, and within 15 minutes discovered an answer to a question that had puzzled historians since the turn of the century.

Epiphany! I was meant to be a historical researcher. It has been the passion of my life for the past 35 plus years.

Without marrying, I probably never would have discovered historical research.