HumanMachine Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Received a birthday card from oneitis, known her a few years.. Full of text Key parts- I truly do love you, and spending time with you You're my best friend in the world I love you humanmachine Damn
ff12343 Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Aside from her, you know the best kinds of relationships are the ones that start off as friends right? 2
Mikau Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 No offence, but if you've known her for years this shouldn't be coming as much of a surprise. As somebody who lived in the friendzone in the past, take it from me. Regardless of whether it gets you the girl, making your intentions known early is so much easier on your own emotional wellbeing. 3
NopeNah Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 (edited) I got "friendzoned" for the first time in my life a couple weeks ago.. "You're sexy as hell but, I think we should just be friends." I was at one of my shops at the time and read the text out loud to a few employees(whom I consider friends) and we all had a good laugh.. I mean..what else is there to do but laugh about it? I won't lie..There was ZERO future with her but, she is hot! But, as was said: If you've been friends with her for a while,then you shouldn't be too taken back by it. Were you only hanging out with her in hopes of something more? Edited August 28, 2016 by Praying4Daylight 1
preraph Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 I was just watching Steve Harvey last week, his first show of the new season, and he was talking about guys who just hang around as friends because they don't have the nerve to ask someone out. It started with him telling some women that any guy who is hanging around you "wants something," meaning sex. Then he talked about the "friends" and he called them buzzards just circling around hoping something would happen and the woman (joking here) would trip and fall on them or something. Being friends is NOT the best way to romance. It happens on the rare occasion, but usually there is a spark accompanying the friendship. Two people attracted who simply aren't dating and then one day realize they should. But if one isn't at least minimally attracted physically, hanging around isn't going to change anything. 1
Versacehottie Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I was just watching Steve Harvey last week, his first show of the new season, and he was talking about guys who just hang around as friends because they don't have the nerve to ask someone out. It started with him telling some women that any guy who is hanging around you "wants something," meaning sex. Then he talked about the "friends" and he called them buzzards just circling around hoping something would happen and the woman (joking here) would trip and fall on them or something. Being friends is NOT the best way to romance. It happens on the rare occasion, but usually there is a spark accompanying the friendship. Two people attracted who simply aren't dating and then one day realize they should. But if one isn't at least minimally attracted physically, hanging around isn't going to change anything. i agree with being a buzzard or a pathetic friendzoned guy is worst way to romance. A regular guy friend who is in your friend group is another story or where you have something in common and for whatever reason romance is not on the table at the beginning is a great thing. Scenario one: If two of you start out dating and she offers to just be friends, that's not likely to turn into anything. Scenario two: If you are friends for whatever reason, it can change into romance. Scenario one i think is what most people mean when they say friendzoned and that it won't happen. The second scenario, I know many romances that came from this. Genuine friends, never tried to date before the moment a friendship changed into more. i guess I even know a few where scenario one changes but i wouldn't count on that. Don't be a buzzard, it's pathetic, ie not sexy 3
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I think two people ( A man and a woman) can be friends if you have absolutely no attraction at all. One of my best friends is a guy. He isn't gay. He's straight as an arrow, but, I've never been into him, and he has never been into me. But just recently one guy that I was hanging out with, always wanted to spend time with me. A few years ago he said he wanted to hang out all the time, but when it came up to the conversation of where " this was going" he said, " I am not sure, but let's hang out more." Three or four years later, I thought he had a change of heart; he seemed very, very interested. I just blatantly asked him " do you like me?" and he again said " I'm not sure, but let us hang out more' This time no cigar, I told him this... "Maybe I got mixed signals. I think we've arrived at the same point in our friendship that we did three or four years ago. If you were just as unsure then as you are now and little has changed and you still want to just 'hang out' rather than take a girl out on a proper date than to me, that's a resounding no. It's factual. It just is what it is. It isn't a negative thing so to speak. Actually, maybe we SHOULDN'T hang out as much as that just gives me mixed signals and I would rather someone just take the bull by the horns. I would rather someone be super keen on me than just luke warm. I deserve it after all. Just stating how I feel". Look 'hanging out' is just an excuse. Whatever the reason is, either not interested to take it to the next level, but likes the attention, or too fearful to take the initiative in asking the girl out. Either way, I see as weakness and quite pathetic, and I no long want to stand for " hanging out" because I don't see anything good that comes from that. Teenage boys will ask girls to "hang out" with them. Adult men, however, need to rise to the occasion, and if they don't, they get sieved out and sieved through. I won't waste time with them anymore.
smudge21 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I've been there many times but also had it the other way round, where someone I wanted to be with suggested only friends. So at the time I agreed but within a year later she was wanting more. Sad part is, whatever attraction I had to begin with had gone and I only saw her as a friend now. When I told her this, she couldn't accept friendship only and then was gone. All in all, a very odd year that one.
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I was just watching Steve Harvey last week, his first show of the new season, and he was talking about guys who just hang around as friends because they don't have the nerve to ask someone out. It started with him telling some women that any guy who is hanging around you "wants something," meaning sex. Then he talked about the "friends" and he called them buzzards just circling around hoping something would happen and the woman (joking here) would trip and fall on them or something. Being friends is NOT the best way to romance. It happens on the rare occasion, but usually there is a spark accompanying the friendship. Two people attracted who simply aren't dating and then one day realize they should. But if one isn't at least minimally attracted physically, hanging around isn't going to change anything. Usually when friendships develop into more is when there is an obstacle for the time being eg. one person being in a relationship. If both people are single at the same time for prolonged periods of time, the writing is on the wall: there is zero attraction from one side.
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I got "friendzoned" for the first time in my life a couple weeks ago.. "You're sexy as hell but, I think we should just be friends." That's woman logic for ya. lol I'd be like, "If I'm sexy as hell, then why not date me?" I remember being told by some women that would list all the things they want in a guy and that I was all of that, but they only think of me "as friend." You know the best kinds of relationships are the ones that start off as friends right? You would think, but I am actually getting tired of hearing this rhetoric, but when put into action it happens rarely for me. I was able to understand "starting off as friends" in a literal since, but in action....it rarely happens for me. Funny, I'd get some women that would enjoy my time, I'm make them laugh, they'd tell me what a great guy I am, and I figure, "This is the part where I ask them out." And they are like "Oh, um...yeah,...um...gotta go, bye!" or "Yeah, well, *ahem*...about that...you're sweet and all, and you're funny but I don't think of you in that way." I think this is how some women wind up in either 1. Bad marriages or relationships or 2. Wind up being single way into older years because they didn't give those guys a romantic chance. This platitude is almost akin to the "It'll happen when you're not looking." line. lol
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 (edited) Look 'hanging out' is just an excuse What's sad is, I see posts of men here on the forums, usually the younger ones they start off in a "dating" post that, "Yeah, I asked this woman to hang out" or "Me and this girl hung out" and so on. I tried to figure out where this "hanging out' started from" a long time ago, but it stemmed from some women being fearful of the word "date." It was the dreaded "D" word to women and men caught onto that and relabeled it, 'Hanging out." Something happened in the past where men asked, "Susie, would you like to go on a date with me this Friday night?" to a point where it actually scared the hell out of a woman by using the "D" word. So what happened, men evolved and askingn, "Susie, let's hang out this Friday night!" EVEN to this DAY, I hear women talking about these "men" they've been seeing, and even themselves downgraded their "dates" to "Me and this guy, we went out...but...it was just 'as friends.'" I was tongue and cheek when this was uttered. "went out...as friends?" What does that mean? I also recall a post by a woman online saying, "Never take a guy you're not into to the movie 'Sausage Fest', it can be awkward" I commented, "So if you weren't into the guy, why did you even go out with him?" She said, "Because affection can grow over time. Not that I had to answer your post." lol Edited August 29, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst
kendahke Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 Received a birthday card from oneitis, known her a few years.. Full of text Key parts- I truly do love you, and spending time with you You're my best friend in the world I love you humanmachine Damn How do you feel about her? Do you want more from her? Say something. If she plays coy or says "I don't love you in that way", then end the conversation and block her, unless you need more platonic friendships. 1
kendahke Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 2. Wind up being single way into older years because they didn't give those guys a romantic chance. Preferences!!!! They are real in these 2016 streets. They aren't owed a chance just because they have interest. While it may not make sense to you nor achieve your ends, at the end of the day, every person is entitled to their preferences, you included. If a woman who doesn't interest you decides that she wants a romantic relationship with you, do you owe her just because she fancies you? If you're not their preferences, then you're not and nothing is going to change that. 1
JDPT Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 Hey why not take her as a friend? And yeah there is no coming back from that one.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 What's sad is, I see posts of men here on the forums, usually the younger ones they start off in a "dating" post that, "Yeah, I asked this woman to hang out" or "Me and this girl hung out" and so on. I tried to figure out where this "hanging out' started from" a long time ago, but it stemmed from some women being fearful of the word "date." It was the dreaded "D" word to women and men caught onto that and relabeled it, 'Hanging out." Something happened in the past where men asked, "Susie, would you like to go on a date with me this Friday night?" to a point where it actually scared the hell out of a woman by using the "D" word. So what happened, men evolved and askingn, "Susie, let's hang out this Friday night!" EVEN to this DAY, I hear women talking about these "men" they've been seeing, and even themselves downgraded their "dates" to "Me and this guy, we went out...but...it was just 'as friends.'" I was tongue and cheek when this was uttered. "went out...as friends?" What does that mean? I also recall a post by a woman online saying, "Never take a guy you're not into to the movie 'Sausage Fest', it can be awkward" I commented, "So if you weren't into the guy, why did you even go out with him?" She said, "Because affection can grow over time. Not that I had to answer your post." lol No I agree. Hanging out is code for " not sure how I feel. I don't have enough balls. Or... I like her, but not enough to make it a reality or official." That's when you run forest run. So many put up with this madness! and they deserve to be treated with a lot more respect !
preraph Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 i agree with being a buzzard or a pathetic friendzoned guy is worst way to romance. A regular guy friend who is in your friend group is another story or where you have something in common and for whatever reason romance is not on the table at the beginning is a great thing. Scenario one: If two of you start out dating and she offers to just be friends, that's not likely to turn into anything. Scenario two: If you are friends for whatever reason, it can change into romance. Scenario one i think is what most people mean when they say friendzoned and that it won't happen. The second scenario, I know many romances that came from this. Genuine friends, never tried to date before the moment a friendship changed into more. i guess I even know a few where scenario one changes but i wouldn't count on that. Don't be a buzzard, it's pathetic, ie not sexy Totally agree. It's the difference between having a sparkless friendship and having a spark but maybe one person is taken at the moment or you're working together. But the spark has to be there. If you just consider the person a buddy, that is no more likely to turn sexual than it would with one of your girlfriends. Both people have to have attraction that they just can't act on that limits them to friendship until there's the opportunity. Trouble is a lot of guys seem to think an opportunity will just manifest if they hang around long enough even though the woman or girl hasn't done anything to make them think that. In which case, they make her excuse for her as being shy. Nope. Just not interested that way. 1
phineas Posted August 30, 2016 Posted August 30, 2016 Received a birthday card from oneitis, known her a few years.. Full of text Key parts- I truly do love you, and spending time with you You're my best friend in the world I love you humanmachine Damn Yeah, the one woman who calls me her best friend.....we have sex when we are both single. I did get a card from another woman friend that was somewhat like what you got. I slept with her also but she didn't want to date. I'm not friendzoned though because every time she gets drunk she comes onto me. I think i'm insecurity-zoned because she always brings up the hotness of past women I dated and how she doesn't match them in some aspect even though she is very hot herself. When a woman I like friendzones me....oh wait, that hasn't happened in like 5yrs. I stop giving them my time and attention & find someone that actually wants to get naked with me. I still hang out in groups though but not one-on-one.
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