Double dumped - knocked for 6

[Joebloggs91]

She cut if off with me because of the distance - was difficult but I feel it could've worked. Anyway, regardless it didn't work and I have to move on. It was only a few months, and we weren't a 'couple' but I was willing to sacrifice a lot to make it work.

 

What's irritating me is the thoughts. I recently came back from 2 weeks holiday. Every day I thought about her, I was adamant she wanted what I wanted and I told myself when I get back I'm going to really make a go of it. We met up for the weekend, had loads of sex, acted like a couple and generally clicked. She then called it off a week later saying it's getting too serious and she can't go through a long term relationship.

 

We didn't speak every day, but when we did it was refreshing. Just because we didn't speak all the time, I did think of her all day. Now I need to try and shift that but am stumped how too.

 

It's the second time I've been dumped this year so whilst I appreciate this wasn't a long relationship I had just picked myself up from my ex and then it happens again. All those depressing feelings come back.

 

I changed my job, house, deleted social media and went to the gym when I broke up with the first ex, now I'm at that stage again the novelty of change isn't working. I need to pick myself up but my confidence has been knocked for 6 and I haven't got change to fall back on.

 

Anyone else had similar issues?

[Satu]

Sorry that you're hurting.

 

 

Just a word of advice:

 

 

Never begin a new relationship until you've fully moved on from the one before.

 

Also never begin a new relationship with someone who hasn't fully moved on from their one before.

 

By 'moved on,' I mean any necessary grieving done, not preoccupied with the ex, enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, and optimistic about the future.

 

I suspect that both of you hadn't fully moved on from the one before.

 

Two broken relationships in one year means that you might be moving too fast.

 

The best way to move on is to decide to be single for a while; not dating, not hooking up, no fwb. Some short term counselling if that appeals to you.

 

'Get back on the horse' is sound advice, but its best to let the cuts and bruises heal before you do.

 

You'll be OK.

 

 

Take care.

[smudge21]

What Satu says, go find your inner happiness instead of hoping to find it with someone else. Take a year off and just be with yourself and your friends. Travel, party, drink, fall over, sky dive, whatever it takes, just do it.

 

For me, after a break up of any kind or length, I just need to be alone - not as in totally alone, but not dating or looking for a date. It's quite refreshing just having that mindset that you're simply not looking for anyone. It's a proper chance to clear my head and heart of a recent breakup and then be in a better place when/if the next person comes along.