ttherrera Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 She technically did invite me to hangout with her and her friends for this weekend, which is the second weekend. So, just go and find out what she things about you. As of now, do not thing anything much. 1
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 I am still torn. Do not know what I should do from here. I am getting mixed answers that make sense both ways.
fmfan08 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Not ALWAYS. I recently had a girl act distant (she had insecurities about herself) and told me she'll "let me know" when I arranged a date. Thought that was completely it. I left it 4-5 days and did the complete opposite, I got back in touch saying that I assumed she wasn't comfy meeting a stranger, that I wasn't a shallow person (she mentioned she put on some weight) and that I would like to continue to get to know her but only when she feels confident to do so (I would pursue other girls if I did have to wait, of course). Then I said if it isn't what she wanted then I hope things go well with her job and her future, but I wrote it in a fun way. Wasn't expecting a reply really, thought it was dead in the water. She got back within two minutes saying she was sorry and is new to all of this , that she wants to continue talking and when she feels confident she'd promise to let me know when meeting is right for her. Then, 10 minutes later she sends another text saying that my message made her smile and was reassuring that I understood and that not many people do and just give up with her. She also said that there was one other thing worrying her that I was working with her ex's mum in my job. Now she doesn't act cold or distant and asked if I was working on Saturday, I am unfortunately but will sort something. So, sometimes there's a valid reason why a girl acts distant. A lot of the time it's down to lack of interest but sometimes it can be insecurities and girls just need someone who can understand that and not push/force anything, let it go at her pace, etc. Obviously pursue other girls in case down the line this does not work out.
Toodaloo Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I am still torn. Do not know what I should do from here. I am getting mixed answers that make sense both ways. You ask one more time. You give a time, date and place. If she says no - that is it. Cut your losses and leave her be. If she says yes - go on the date. It really IS THAT simple. 2
Tahirthegreat Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Find another woman, shes more than likely too busy have sex with multiple men to talk to you. Its not worth the heartbreak.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Sorry but I'm going to side with the camp that this girl is fading on you. Can't see you for TWO WEEKS? Give me a break. Anyone who is over heels for you will MAKE time to see you. The fact that she's communicating less and less does present a red flag. I AM a woman and know how this works because I've done it. At the same time, I will agree that it's only been two weeks so chill. You did all you can do, left the door open now leave her be. She knows if/where to find you when she finds time in her busy social schedule to pencil you in. In the meantime, go on with your life. Good luck. 1
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 Sorry but I'm going to side with the camp that this girl is fading on you. Can't see you for TWO WEEKS? Give me a break. Anyone who is over heels for you will MAKE time to see you. The fact that she's communicating less and less does present a red flag. I AM a woman and know how this works because I've done it. At the same time, I will agree that it's only been two weeks so chill. You did all you can do, left the door open now leave her be. She knows if/where to find you when she finds time in her busy social schedule to pencil you in. In the meantime, go on with your life. Good luck. Her two weekends were booked but one of those two weekends she invited me and a group of friends up north with her and a group of her friends. So technically it was just one weekend she couldn't hangout
Miss Peach Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 You ask one more time. You give a time, date and place. If she says no - that is it. Cut your losses and leave her be. If she says yes - go on the date. It really IS THAT simple. Totally agree with this. My guess is she was either just looking for sex or she's feeling like it's all you are after. The first few dates I feel it's important to make a date and keep it. Anything wishy washy probably means she doesn't want to go out but isn't willing to actually tell you no. I think it was a good sign she wasn't willing to cancel on her friends but was willing to invite you. The thing is if you backed up too much or were wishy washy with her, she's probably assuming you're setting her up for nothing more than FWB at best. FWIW I don't chase guys but I am straight with them and tell them yes or no, when I can make time for them, etc. But I also assume that's the best I'll get form them so if they don't step up their game early on then I move on. The thing is if you were in a relationship and you were both pulling back without having an attempt to find out why and correct things, then I would expect a breakup. I would be cautious playing the hot and cold game. It works for people with low self esteem. It doesn't work on women with self esteem and options who don't want to deal with that crap. 1
elisalynn Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Her two weekends were booked but one of those two weekends she invited me and a group of friends up north with her and a group of her friends. So technically it was just one weekend she couldn't hangout Why did you tell her that you couldn't go up north with her and her friends? 1
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 Why did you tell her that you couldn't go up north with her and her friends? When she asked me the first time, I told her maybe because I had plans that Saturday night I had scheduled for two months. Then when she asked again, I decided going up for one night just isn't worth the drive because it is a 3hr drive. Of course I didnt give her a reason. I am starting to think that she thinks I became distant and or only want FWB
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 Totally agree with this. My guess is she was either just looking for sex or she's feeling like it's all you are after. The first few dates I feel it's important to make a date and keep it. Anything wishy washy probably means she doesn't want to go out but isn't willing to actually tell you no. I think it was a good sign she wasn't willing to cancel on her friends but was willing to invite you. The thing is if you backed up too much or were wishy washy with her, she's probably assuming you're setting her up for nothing more than FWB at best. FWIW I don't chase guys but I am straight with them and tell them yes or no, when I can make time for them, etc. But I also assume that's the best I'll get form them so if they don't step up their game early on then I move on. The thing is if you were in a relationship and you were both pulling back without having an attempt to find out why and correct things, then I would expect a breakup. I would be cautious playing the hot and cold game. It works for people with low self esteem. It doesn't work on women with self esteem and options who don't want to deal with that crap. Would you suggest I reach out to her?
Miss Peach Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Would you suggest I reach out to her? If you want to see her again I would suggest asking her for a specific date with a date and time. Do not be wishy washy. Do not back out. If she gives you an excuse about being busy with no alternative time suggested then I would move on. For example: You: Would you go with me to ABC restaurant Thursday at 7? Either of these would be OK: Her: I'm busy that evening but could do it Wednesday. Her: Yes I wouldn't contact her again if it went something like this: Her: I've been pretty busy lately. I don't know if I could make it. You: Sure let me know when you're free. (Then leave it up to her because she's probably being polite.)
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