Hope3345 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) We are both 24. He lives on his own and I still am in college and living at home. My family and I got in a fight about my schook and what I should do in the future, it accelerated into them asking me to leave for a couple days so they could cool down. We got in a huge fight. I had no where to go, I honestly don't have many friends that I am close to except for my boyfriend. I called him and asked him if I can spend the night at his house. He didn't pick up, so I messaged him. And I was in a panic because it was raining and I didn't know where to go or what to do. I was typing my panic into the messages. But they weren't bad. They were just messages explaining that I basically needed a place to stay. We have dated for 6 years. He responded telling me to sleep on the garage floor, and just break a window to get into my house. I told him I wouldn't do that, and I just needed a place to stay to wrap my head around what happened. After ignoring me for seveal minutes he claimed he was at his friends and I'm ruining his Friday night. Its not like I planned to ruin his night. I asked him if we can call and he said later. I asked him if he even cared and he said he does but he doesn't want to help me because I spammed his phone with my worries and that I've been annoying him all day. Hes never done anything like this before. We are always there for eachother. I haven't seen him in a week so I don't understand why he would not be there for me. It just seems like he thinks what he is doing is right. I know it's not his responsibility go help me all the time. But this time I really had no where to go and I really needed him. Am I wrong to think that I needed his help and he should be there for me? He called a child for crying and being nervous And I didn't try to be annoying, I was just scared and nervous that I had no where to go.am in in the wrong? It would be nice for some answers from you all thank you Edited August 27, 2016 by Hope3345
benpom Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Wow. That's really cruel. He does not love you. No one treats a date like this. No one even treats a friend like this. If he is the only one who can help you, I guess just keep the disappointment to yourself and get the help you need from him first. Afterwards, it's time to break up and move on with your life. 6
Author Hope3345 Posted August 27, 2016 Author Posted August 27, 2016 I tried to call him a couple more times because this is happenig now and he put me on autoreject. I don't understand how he can be so mean when I just need his help. But yes this is defiantly an experience for me that made me realone we should break up 1
VeveCakes Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Do you ever stay at his place? This is unacceptable for a boyfriend. I'm sorry this has happened.
Author Hope3345 Posted August 27, 2016 Author Posted August 27, 2016 Hi. Yes I stay at his place a couple times a week. This week I was only there once at the beginning. So I haven't seen him in a while. He is blaming it on me and saying I'm over exaggerating and that he doesn't need this drama in his life. I don't understand what he means because it's not like I planned this to happen. I didn't mean to inconvenience him
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Wow. Have you been having similar problems with him recently? His response is very unkind and raises all kinds of red flags. Something is definitely up with him. I have a feeling he's done with your relationship and looking for a way out.
loveiswar101 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Totally unacceptable, defining it is. You know what to do!
basil67 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) I'm sitting on the fence here. If you have a history of being a drama queen...fighting with family and friends and boyfriend.... then it's reasonable that your boyfriend is not buying into into your drama. However, if you never normally fight with your parents, friends and boyfriend, then he is not worthy. Edited August 27, 2016 by basil67 8
Popsicle Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) I'm on the fence too. This reminds me of a situation I had with a friend who I've known for 12 years. She is 53 and a drama queen. She gets herself into the most horrible situations and I will advise her over and over to get out or do this or that (months in advance!) to prevent some bad thing that I see and tell her is coming but she won't do it, mostly out of laziness. Then she waits until things have boiled over and got really bad and comes to me in a panic asking to inconvenience me and/or put me out. I told her no and that I told you what to do before. She is used to not lifting a finger to fix or change her life and habits and her family and usually men rescuing her. Why change and do the hard things in life if someone will always just rescue me? She has perfected the damsel in distress act by her mid-50's. Perhaps your boyfriend saw this coming or agrees with your parents and thinks you have some hard lessons to learn. Edited August 27, 2016 by Popsicle 2
Popsicle Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 And by the way, one thing I had to learn in my early 20's is don't bite the hand that feeds you. Don't argue with your parents when they are allowing you to stay with them and you pretty much have to do what they say. If you don't like what they are saying then you pretty much need to move out and move on your own. That should motivate you more towards independence. 6
BaileyB Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Defining moment. There are times in life when you see very clearly who will be there for you, and who won't. Even if you were just a friend, I would have offered to help you in that moment. I hope you are able to patch things with your parents and I think you need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend...
Sunlight72 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 I don't know enough of the history of you and your boyfriend to know what's "really" going on, but it's either that - you create drama and he's over it, or he's a royal ass, in which case I find it hard to believe you've never seen the signs before now. Either way, I am sorry for your scary situation, and I hope you will make it your priority in life to Not be in that situation again by taking the reigns and moving out of your parents' into your own place. It will be hard! And over the months, you will have the chance to become a new, better person 1
PogoStick Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 I don't understand this reaction from a 6 year relationship. It doesn't sound right and makes me think this relationship has never been real or serious. Something like this doesn't just come out of the blue in a good relationship. 1
elaine567 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 My guess he is either done with this relationship, or for some reason he did not want you to come to his place that night and he was inappropriately nasty in order to dissuade you. It may be another woman, drugs, a party he was going to or even criminal activity, but whatever the reason he felt the need to put you off. He was definitely not going to let you stay at his place that night. YOU say you stay over twice a week, I am guessing Friday is not one of your regular nights, or does he always need plenty of notice before he allows you to stay?
juniorrocha Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 I don't understand this reaction from a 6 year relationship. It doesn't sound right and makes me think this relationship has never been real or serious. Something like this doesn't just come out of the blue in a good relationship. ^This Regardless though, there's something up and you gotta find out. Be honest if the problem is on your end, too.
preraph Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Makes me think he doesn't really want a relationship or the obligations that come with it and only wants you around to mess around with when it's convenient for him. Anyway, he's useless as a boyfriend. I do agree with the posters who smell a rat and wonder if your life is one big drama after another that people get tired of dealing with, but if that were the case, my feeling is you'd have seen this side of him already and know exactly why he doesn't want to be bothered. But if you are leaving something out like this is how you try to get his attention, by having a big drama, then you obviously shouldn't do that or be testing him if he's having a rare night with friends. Only you know if you're manipulating him or not. But if the whole story is as written, you should break up with him and find someone who gives a crap about you. Because as others have said, we'd let a friend crash at our house for nearly any reason, too drunk to drive, too upset to drive, kicked out of parents' house. So if that's all there is to it, time to move on before you get pregnant and are stuck with a guy who doesn't care and won't help for life. 1
Sthrngem87 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 I personally would break up with someone like this immediately. I don't see the point in being in a relationship with someone who won't support you. You can do better and deserve better. Make some friends, find some hobbies, grow as a person, get a job and roommate and move out of your parents place if things are bad regularly. If he's auto-rejecting your calls then I'd break up with him through a text, cry my tears, and move on.
NIGHT1985 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Yea, sounds like he's cheating, by having another woman over, which is why he's so cruel about you coming over. Regardless, drop this loser
Redhead14 Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 It sounds to me as though you were "calling" him your boyfriend when in fact you were on one long, long string along. You were a convenience at least. It's either the above or you have a habit of being involved in a lot of drama and he simply got tired of it. This is unacceptable behavior from a boyfriend, so if you're on the receiving end of that kind of behavior, he isn't your boyfriend, he's just a guy with whom you've been hanging around and having sex.
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